Top regrets in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This one is going to be total fodder for this crowd but ... not even applying to Harvard or any Ivy when I was graduating high school. I would have gotten in (high stats, from a rural area in the South, plus it was the 90s) but refused to even try because I thought it was too elitist. I don't think my career was ultimately harmed, but I didn't have a great college experience and find myself wishing i got to have that sort of college experience.

Same. I was valedictorian at a high school in the South, in the 80s, with 99%ile SAT score. Neither my parents nor the guidance counselor had a clue (University of Georgia was kind of the pinnacle where I was from) and I went to a school that sent me a brochure in the mail and offered me a scholarship (and got me far, far from Georgia, which I don't regret). My life turned out well, but living in a place where so many people make assumptions about you based on where you went to school can be hard. I try not to have a chip on my shoulder about it.

[Anonymous]

Not getting out of my marriage sooner. I don’t regret the marriage because I have a DC from it, but he showed me who he was way before I accepted it and moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dropping out of high school my Senior year.

Background:
My home life was hell & my parents never loved me.
I grew up very depressed + suffered severe anxiety because of it.
This affected my studies tremendously - I HATED school, I struggled w/both my studies as well as fitting in.
I was teased horribly amongst my peers and just gave up on caring about ANYthing at all.

Quitting school affected the trajectory of my entire life I feel.
I did eventually complete my credits via a high school correspondence course, then went on to earn an Associate of Science degree from a local community college.
I wanted to transfer to a University but could not pass the math courses necessary to properly transfer out. 😕

I currently work in childcare where the $$ is very low.

I regret not doing well in high school, possibly earning a scholarship then graduating from a four-yr university
If I had, then I could have a decent-paying job by now and could have had better life options.

Congratulations on you for achieving A.S. degree.
Most people who drop out of high school rarely even pursue higher education.
Some don’t even get their GED either.

Even a four yr degree doesn’t necessarily mean great options.
Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had taken academics more seriously in HS and College. And I wish I drank less in college.

[Anonymous]

Staying married to an alcoholic after he cheated on me.

I was terrified of him and also stayed to have children.

Now I have children but a husband whom I have issues with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, there’s a lot of law school regret. But is it regret over attending law school, or not attending?

I listed law school and my regret was going to law school and becoming a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, there’s a lot of law school regret. But is it regret over attending law school, or not attending?

I listed law school and my regret was going to law school and becoming a lawyer.

Said every damn lawyer in the DC-VA-MD area.

[Anonymous]

Not playing football in middle school. I was fast, strong and tall. I played backyard football with my brothers, and I was great. I was not deluded to think I could play HS.

I asked my dad and he said no, I asked the coach (my friend's dad) he said yes.

My dad said, "I'm not worried about you getting hurt or not being successful. What I'm worried about is the boys feeling bad that a girl is beating them and how their dads will react to their son being tackled by a girl"

FF to 8th grade, I had the fastest time for the Presidental Fitness. A boy in my class said, he'd have a faster time, but he didn't run his fastest none of the boys did, because they didn't care. I challenged him to race me at recess. He did and I destroyed him. Almost every boy stopped talking to me for the rest of 8th grade.

I know there are a ton of studies that show girls do this in academics for my generation, pretending not to be as smart so boys don't feel bad.

FF to college... a guy challenged me to a basketball 1-1, I said yes and he was going to spot me 5 point play to 10, I didn't take the 5 points and I beat him. I was no longer invited to that house for parties.

Here comes the rest of the regret.
After that... I stopped trying to win... pool, darts, cards, boardgames. I would not beat guys because I didn't want to deal with their ire.
This continued at work and life in general.

I'm kind of bummed I just didn't say f it I don't own their feelings, I'm just doing my thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not marry the man I loved with all my heart and soul, because timing.

Decades on, I see timing was just an excuse for fear, and cost me the chance to live life with my soulmate.

Is he married now?

He may be separated. Neither of us have social media, but he’s accepted a professorship distant from his home and I hear his wife hasn’t moved. She has a serious career, so they may be doing LD. I have been separated for years. I feel like he would find me if he were meaningfully single.

To the snickers lady: Ahahaha, you are my hero

I found this one of the hardest regrets to read. I think we need a spinoff thread where everyone convinces you to reach out.

What if he is not separated, though? Or only kind of testing the waters. That would be so awful. He is one that would never, ever cheat, nor would I. I look for him in airports 😬

DH here: NGL, “I look for him in airports” got me right in the feels. PP: I kind of know what this feels like, I’d say reach out, the worst can say is “still taken” and take it from me you don’t want to wonder “what if” for decades.

[Anonymous]

Not marrying the hot guy with the huge package.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not marrying the hot guy with the huge package.

Trump has entered the room

[Anonymous]

Spending ten years in grad school (changed majors, took some undergrad classes, went for a PhD but dropped out after my masters). Resulted in a lot of lost earning potential, and a late start to my career (where I'm fairly happy and successful). Some parts of it I wouldn't change, but when I look back at it, there was a lot of wasted time spinning my wheels.

[Anonymous]

Seems most posters regret:
-relationships: marriage person they married
-education: college or lack of, law school
-career: lawyer for example

[Anonymous]

Not realizing my own childhood was less than ideal until I was middle aged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one is going to be total fodder for this crowd but ... not even applying to Harvard or any Ivy when I was graduating high school. I would have gotten in (high stats, from a rural area in the South, plus it was the 90s) but refused to even try because I thought it was too elitist. I don't think my career was ultimately harmed, but I didn't have a great college experience and find myself wishing i got to have that sort of college experience.

Same. I was valedictorian at a high school in the South, in the 80s, with 99%ile SAT score. Neither my parents nor the guidance counselor had a clue (University of Georgia was kind of the pinnacle where I was from) and I went to a school that sent me a brochure in the mail and offered me a scholarship (and got me far, far from Georgia, which I don't regret). My life turned out well, but living in a place where so many people make assumptions about you based on where you went to school can be hard. I try not to have a chip on my shoulder about it.

Going to college at an Ivy in the 80s/90s where so many people would have made assumptions about you based on where you grew up, would have been hard, too.