Top regrets in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I studied abroad.

I loved my study abroad so much that the next year I volunteered in the advising office and encouraged others.
There were so many young women who didn't want to go because "I would miss my boyfriend too much"

.

You failed the assignment, pp. Or maybe you are just a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not marry the man I loved with all my heart and soul, because timing.

Decades on, I see timing was just an excuse for fear, and cost me the chance to live life with my soulmate.

Is he married now?

He may be separated. Neither of us have social media, but he’s accepted a professorship distant from his home and I hear his wife hasn’t moved. She has a serious career, so they may be doing LD. I have been separated for years. I feel like he would find me if he were meaningfully single.

To the snickers lady: Ahahaha, you are my hero

I found this one of the hardest regrets to read. I think we need a spinoff thread where everyone convinces you to reach out.

I can relate to wrong timing. It is what it is. I hope you both find each other again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not marry the man I loved with all my heart and soul, because timing.

Decades on, I see timing was just an excuse for fear, and cost me the chance to live life with my soulmate.

Is he married now?

He may be separated. Neither of us have social media, but he’s accepted a professorship distant from his home and I hear his wife hasn’t moved. She has a serious career, so they may be doing LD. I have been separated for years. I feel like he would find me if he were meaningfully single.

To the snickers lady: Ahahaha, you are my hero

Send him a note to the department.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not marry the man I loved with all my heart and soul, because timing.

Decades on, I see timing was just an excuse for fear, and cost me the chance to live life with my soulmate.

Is he married now?

He may be separated. Neither of us have social media, but he’s accepted a professorship distant from his home and I hear his wife hasn’t moved. She has a serious career, so they may be doing LD. I have been separated for years. I feel like he would find me if he were meaningfully single.

To the snickers lady: Ahahaha, you are my hero

I found this one of the hardest regrets to read. I think we need a spinoff thread where everyone convinces you to reach out.

What if he is not separated, though? Or only kind of testing the waters. That would be so awful. He is one that would never, ever cheat, nor would I. I look for him in airports 😬

💔

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regret the college I went to. My parents didn't provide me guidance or support about college, and I didn't feel like I could ask, felt like I just had to know what to do. I also didn't feel like I could ask for what I wanted or that I was worthy of a better school. The college I went to was small and I have great friends and memories from that time but looking back, I wish I had gone to a more well-known school with a football or basketball team I could get behind on college game days and during March Madness.

Lol, I feel the opposite. I went to PSU for freshman year during the Paterno days. A younger Paterno was in my English class. I chose PSU because it was in-state, well-priced, and had every major. I didn't know what I wanted to major in so I didn't want my parents to pay for an expensive school like the Ivy they went to. My parents never intervened in my choice because my reasons seemed logical and they had both picked their own colleges without parental intervention.

Other than the classes, I had a terrible time at PSU. I got straight As, but had to deal with a mentally ill roommate, drunks, poor advising, dorm vandalism on big game nights, and personal safety issues. I GTFO'd after freshman year.

I probably should have gone to my parents' Ivy or a SLAC. However, I transferred to Pitt and was happy there. I definitely needed to be somewhere with less emphasis on football and drinking.

[Anonymous]

Not realizing that I was worthy in the relationship I had with my first love. My lack of confidence then caused me to spiral later on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not having a third child. My DH said he wasn't ready and wouldn't be ready and I was already 38, and we had a frozen embryo so we decided to dispose of it. Our marriage wasn't in a good place. Hardest decisions I have ever made and almost immediately regretted it.

He told me a few years ago he wishes I would have pushed back and that he now wishes we had tried for the third. I was so mad.

Just chiming in to say that this is really crappy of him. Making his wish a change in your behavior rather than changing his own. Super gross, especially because you were thinking of him and the relationship and weighing that against what you personally wanted (which is what people do in partnerships). No wonder you were mad.

[Anonymous]

My declining health

[Anonymous]

When other people believed in me, I didn't believe in myself. This was in my career, sports, art... everything, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Currently, it was deciding to open the Halloween candy for “just one fun size snickers!”

ugh, SAME!

[Anonymous]

Not being more confident about people liking me and joining the sorority.

(I did do a junior year abroad)

[Anonymous]

I do wish that I had the tools when I was much younger and married DH (amazing man, father, partner, lover) to find a way to commingle our families in a healthy way. We are both from different backgrounds and the disagreements from both sides was exhausting. At some point we had to choose a side and I chose my DH's family (more mentally stable). With that, I lost any closeness I had with my own family and eventually drifted apart where there is no communication. I wish I knew more when I was younger, wish I had someone outside of my DH to guide me. I do miss my family every single day, but the bridge is burned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slipping back into fantasy life and neglecting to do my Step work and gaining weight back. 17 pounds since 2017. Don't relapse.

what's your fantasy life?

Looking back and thinking how I am starting to feel now, I wonder if it wasn't part of my Trump Derangement Syndrome after Charlottesville.

Anyway, we were binge watching Game of Thrones summer 2017 (I had a knee replacement that was rehabbing and we wanted to catch up for the new shows never having watched it). I became obsessed with The Hound and had a whole sequel fantasy life as an emissary from the Iron Bank and a lost Targaryean and him as my bodyguard...would spend hours on that. Lasted till #2 in early 2018.

#2 March 2018-Jan 2020 was a sexual romantic obsession with a billionaire that involved a lot of sailing and corporate strategy.

Then it was a well known who we actually met as a couple. Thankfully that faded this year.

All

Only a year on The Hound? I would argue you’re not yet finished.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not marry the man I loved with all my heart and soul, because timing.

Decades on, I see timing was just an excuse for fear, and cost me the chance to live life with my soulmate.

Is he married now?

He may be separated. Neither of us have social media, but he’s accepted a professorship distant from his home and I hear his wife hasn’t moved. She has a serious career, so they may be doing LD. I have been separated for years. I feel like he would find me if he were meaningfully single.

To the snickers lady: Ahahaha, you are my hero

I found this one of the hardest regrets to read. I think we need a spinoff thread where everyone convinces you to reach out.

Thank you. And thanks to all who have responded with such kindness.
I can relate to wrong timing. It is what it is. I hope you both find each other again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parking everything in the G fund for the first 12 years of my working life.

I think I know you. I remember having a conversation with a very good friend who thought she was being smart and conservative with her money, and didn't understand what she was giving up.

This is the main problem with forcing people to manage their own retirement money.