Sophomore’s new suite mate is 37

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a little weird that there isn't an age limit on undergraduate housing.

that would be grossly discriminatory.

I'd lawsuit it. I don't think any college wants to be known as the school that's forcing 18 year old girls to room with 37 year old men. Find that school. It doesn't exist. This was probably an administrative idiot and subsequent error. The moment the university lawyers get wind of this, it will be resolved. No university wants that limelight.

But they didn’t “force”—the girl opted into inclusive housing.
She just had her own narrowly-defined view of how much she was willing to “include”

The red line for some is sex-based.
Apparently for OP’s family, mixed sex is fine, but mixed-age was something they didn’t anticipate

But this is a totally different situation that what she initially signed up for. Signing up to live with a trans/non-binary person that you know well is COMPLETELY different than being put into a room with some random guy. I can't believe the colleges don't acknowledge that. And, honestly, any normal 37-year old guy would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable being put in a bedroom with an 18-year old girl. I mean, 18 is basically a child, and he's nearly a middle-aged man. He's old enough to be her father. Would your husbands be comfortable sharing a room with a teenage girl? Most likely not.

Wait! Is it a suite with 4 single bedrooms? Or doubles or what? Regardless, it’s inappropriate. I don’t have a daughter, but if I did it would be hell no! I just sent a text to my 21 yo son at college renting an off campus apt with 4 of his male friends. Asked him what your DD should do. He said it’s no, nope, no bueno. DD should meet with the RA or director and let them deal with it. They shouldn’t discuss it with the 37 yo. It can take a while to find other accommodations. Best for him to be none the wiser.

[Anonymous]

Seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Surprised legal approves this.

[Anonymous]

This older student is also going to be in classes with 18 year olds and in study groups and group projects with 18 year olds. It’s hard going back to school as a mature student. Not everyone can do their education at 18. I think it’s admirable to go back to school at 18 and I don’t think being male or 37 makes him a creep or a predator. If they were sharing a dorm room, that would be an issue. But sharing an apartment when no one cares about mixed gender. Not a big issue. They each have their own rooms. If it’s what allows him to be at school and he doesn’t have other options and was assigned there by housing, then so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a little weird that there isn't an age limit on undergraduate housing.

that would be grossly discriminatory.

I'd lawsuit it. I don't think any college wants to be known as the school that's forcing 18 year old girls to room with 37 year old men. Find that school. It doesn't exist. This was probably an administrative idiot and subsequent error. The moment the university lawyers get wind of this, it will be resolved. No university wants that limelight.

But they didn’t “force”—the girl opted into inclusive housing.
She just had her own narrowly-defined view of how much she was willing to “include”

The red line for some is sex-based.
Apparently for OP’s family, mixed sex is fine, but mixed-age was something they didn’t anticipate

But this is a totally different situation that what she initially signed up for. Signing up to live with a trans/non-binary person that you know well is COMPLETELY different than being put into a room with some random guy. I can't believe the colleges don't acknowledge that. And, honestly, any normal 37-year old guy would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable being put in a bedroom with an 18-year old girl. I mean, 18 is basically a child, and he's nearly a middle-aged man. He's old enough to be her father. Would your husbands be comfortable sharing a room with a teenage girl? Most likely not.

Wait! Is it a suite with 4 single bedrooms? Or doubles or what? Regardless, it’s inappropriate. I don’t have a daughter, but if I did it would be hell no! I just sent a text to my 21 yo son at college renting an off campus apt with 4 of his male friends. Asked him what your DD should do. He said it’s no, nope, no bueno. DD should meet with the RA or director and let them deal with it. They shouldn’t discuss it with the 37 yo. It can take a while to find other accommodations. Best for him to be none the wiser.

Ageism.

Shame on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This older student is also going to be in classes with 18 year olds and in study groups and group projects with 18 year olds. It’s hard going back to school as a mature student. Not everyone can do their education at 18. I think it’s admirable to go back to school at 18 and I don’t think being male or 37 makes him a creep or a predator. If they were sharing a dorm room, that would be an issue. But sharing an apartment when no one cares about mixed gender. Not a big issue. They each have their own rooms. If it’s what allows him to be at school and he doesn’t have other options and was assigned there by housing, then so be it.

I can definitely understand why the 18 year old college students wouldn't want to have a 30 something as a suitemate but you're absolutely right. No one knows his circumstances and since he's in college at 37 I think it's safe to assume that he probably doesn't have a lot of assets. Are people advocating for non-traditional students to be barred from college? Are they suggesting that he has to have enough money saved to afford 4+ years of off campus apartments? A lot of the people that post on DCUM are rich and extremely privileged. They can't even imagine a scenario where someone might have to stay in whatever housing the college has available. Most likely this was the best available because a suite is probably four locking bedrooms with a common area/bathroom rather than having him share a room with someone.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the liberal hell you voted for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the liberal hell you voted for.

This is one of those rubs that happens when the mental illness of liberalism collides with normal people trying to manage life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's really weird. I'm assuming this is a large state school of some sort.

+1. This is why I just roll my eyes at ignorant boosters who won't shut up about how great public degree mills are. They are all like this in some capacity; they do not give a damn about your teenagers.

[Anonymous]

I am almost positive I saw some NBC or CBS murder trial show with a similar set up. Someone (a co-ed girl?) was killed in college rental house - and the suspect turned out to be the creepy old guy who returned to college and all the naive kids bended over backwards to say he was so cool and so friendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who was in the Navy through his early 30's and went back for an undergrad degree at a 4yr private university. He was married and not living on campus, but if he were not married and needed subsidized group campus housing to be able to afford going to college (which he 100% would have needed without his spouse helping to supporting him), he would have taken whatever they gave him. He would not have been happy about this type of setup, but would have been a mature adult and dealt with it with respect. It was already hard enough to be in classes with (and on group projects with) a bunch of 18-22yr olds. It's clearly more fun to live with all kids your age - everyone can reach out to housing with hopes for a change - but if not - treat each other with respect and don't make assumptions or have prejudices against someone who is not following the same (financially entitled/supported) path as you in college. Life is filled with learning moments....this is one of them.

If you're 37 and going to undergrad in 2024, you should pursue your degree at a university offering online coursework and/or have some sort of nest egg to live off-campus. It is very creepy and weird to ask for on-campus UNDERGRAD housing at 37 years old. This is not mentally stable behavior, it's just not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's really weird. I'm assuming this is a large state school of some sort.

+1. This is why I just roll my eyes at ignorant boosters who won't shut up about how great public degree mills are. They are all like this in some capacity; they do not give a damn about your teenagers.

You roll your eyes at people because they have less money than you do? Not everyone can afford ultra fancy New England SLACs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who was in the Navy through his early 30's and went back for an undergrad degree at a 4yr private university. He was married and not living on campus, but if he were not married and needed subsidized group campus housing to be able to afford going to college (which he 100% would have needed without his spouse helping to supporting him), he would have taken whatever they gave him. He would not have been happy about this type of setup, but would have been a mature adult and dealt with it with respect. It was already hard enough to be in classes with (and on group projects with) a bunch of 18-22yr olds. It's clearly more fun to live with all kids your age - everyone can reach out to housing with hopes for a change - but if not - treat each other with respect and don't make assumptions or have prejudices against someone who is not following the same (financially entitled/supported) path as you in college. Life is filled with learning moments....this is one of them.

If you're 37 and going to undergrad in 2024, you should pursue your degree at a university offering online coursework and/or have some sort of nest egg to live off-campus. It is very creepy and weird to ask for on-campus UNDERGRAD housing at 37 years old. This is not mentally stable behavior, it's just not.

Um...Wow! Really? Nothing says you have to be a teenager to go to college. I'm assuming this is a large state university. Seems to me exactly the place this person should go if they want to attend full time and take advantage of what their state has to offer in higher education (including subsidized housing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who was in the Navy through his early 30's and went back for an undergrad degree at a 4yr private university. He was married and not living on campus, but if he were not married and needed subsidized group campus housing to be able to afford going to college (which he 100% would have needed without his spouse helping to supporting him), he would have taken whatever they gave him. He would not have been happy about this type of setup, but would have been a mature adult and dealt with it with respect. It was already hard enough to be in classes with (and on group projects with) a bunch of 18-22yr olds. It's clearly more fun to live with all kids your age - everyone can reach out to housing with hopes for a change - but if not - treat each other with respect and don't make assumptions or have prejudices against someone who is not following the same (financially entitled/supported) path as you in college. Life is filled with learning moments....this is one of them.

If you're 37 and going to undergrad in 2024, you should pursue your degree at a university offering online coursework and/or have some sort of nest egg to live off-campus. It is very creepy and weird to ask for on-campus UNDERGRAD housing at 37 years old. This is not mentally stable behavior, it's just not.

Um...Wow! Really? Nothing says you have to be a teenager to go to college. I'm assuming this is a large state university. Seems to me exactly the place this person should go if they want to attend full time and take advantage of what their state has to offer in higher education (including subsidized housing).

I was friends with a 35yo student in college. She commuted from her house. I don't see anything wrong with the age, but wanting to stay in the dorms with 18yos is very abnormal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who was in the Navy through his early 30's and went back for an undergrad degree at a 4yr private university. He was married and not living on campus, but if he were not married and needed subsidized group campus housing to be able to afford going to college (which he 100% would have needed without his spouse helping to supporting him), he would have taken whatever they gave him. He would not have been happy about this type of setup, but would have been a mature adult and dealt with it with respect. It was already hard enough to be in classes with (and on group projects with) a bunch of 18-22yr olds. It's clearly more fun to live with all kids your age - everyone can reach out to housing with hopes for a change - but if not - treat each other with respect and don't make assumptions or have prejudices against someone who is not following the same (financially entitled/supported) path as you in college. Life is filled with learning moments....this is one of them.

If you're 37 and going to undergrad in 2024, you should pursue your degree at a university offering online coursework and/or have some sort of nest egg to live off-campus. It is very creepy and weird to ask for on-campus UNDERGRAD housing at 37 years old. This is not mentally stable behavior, it's just not.

Agree so much. As a 25 year old (so old!) grad student I couldn't even stand the students fresh from college and self-selected away from them (evening courses, etc.). This man sounds quite frankly foolish and dumb to think this is a good idea. Does he know he's a creep and a joke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who was in the Navy through his early 30's and went back for an undergrad degree at a 4yr private university. He was married and not living on campus, but if he were not married and needed subsidized group campus housing to be able to afford going to college (which he 100% would have needed without his spouse helping to supporting him), he would have taken whatever they gave him. He would not have been happy about this type of setup, but would have been a mature adult and dealt with it with respect. It was already hard enough to be in classes with (and on group projects with) a bunch of 18-22yr olds. It's clearly more fun to live with all kids your age - everyone can reach out to housing with hopes for a change - but if not - treat each other with respect and don't make assumptions or have prejudices against someone who is not following the same (financially entitled/supported) path as you in college. Life is filled with learning moments....this is one of them.

If you're 37 and going to undergrad in 2024, you should pursue your degree at a university offering online coursework and/or have some sort of nest egg to live off-campus. It is very creepy and weird to ask for on-campus UNDERGRAD housing at 37 years old. This is not mentally stable behavior, it's just not.

Um...Wow! Really? Nothing says you have to be a teenager to go to college. I'm assuming this is a large state university. Seems to me exactly the place this person should go if they want to attend full time and take advantage of what their state has to offer in higher education (including subsidized housing).

There are countless state universities and in 2024 nearly all of them offer online options to earn a bachelor's degree. Wanting all in-person courses is a bit weird and wanting to live on-campus is VERY creepy. If I was a 37 year old needing to finish a bachelor's degree, ideally, I'd get a full-time job and pursue the degree at a university which allowed 100% or nearly all online courses. I'd finish as soon as possible.