Sophomore’s new suite mate is 37

[Anonymous]

I work at a school that guarantees residence spots for all incoming freshmen. This includes older freshmen as well. It is really hard to find housing ewe the school for freshmen as they don’t know anyone to room with yet and single apartments are really expensive so almost all of them choose residence.

We have a couple grad student residences but grad students get priority. If there is still space then older undergrads are offered the spots but everyone has to get a spot somewhere so sometimes there are mixed age pairings. The school uses an automated lottery system that runs a bunch of algorithms based on what students have said so no one knows who ends up where.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is about my college roommates daughter. She was planning to live in a suite w 4 friends but at the last minute one had to take a semester off. They were signed up for gender inclusive housing bc one suite mate is trans and one non-binary. (Note: I know this seems like it might be a set up for an anti trans or anti gender inclusive house post but it’s not.)

So at move in the new person has already moved in but isn’t around. They know his name is larlo smith, all is fine.

An hour or so after all parents are gone, larlo smith comes back to the suite and is a 37 year old man.

This seems…strange. I’m sensitive to the fact that larlo may have financial circumstances that make on campus housing a must (and have no issues with gender inclusive housing.)

And yet, this still just seems very, very strange. Maybe there should be singles for students over a certain age?

Sure, Jan.

Name the school or this did not happen.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who was in the Navy through his early 30's and went back for an undergrad degree at a 4yr private university. He was married and not living on campus, but if he were not married and needed subsidized group campus housing to be able to afford going to college (which he 100% would have needed without his spouse helping to supporting him), he would have taken whatever they gave him. He would not have been happy about this type of setup, but would have been a mature adult and dealt with it with respect. It was already hard enough to be in classes with (and on group projects with) a bunch of 18-22yr olds. It's clearly more fun to live with all kids your age - everyone can reach out to housing with hopes for a change - but if not - treat each other with respect and don't make assumptions or have prejudices against someone who is not following the same (financially entitled/supported) path as you in college. Life is filled with learning moments....this is one of them.

[Anonymous]

Other than for nefarious purposes I don't see why a 37 year old of either gender would want to live with a group of 18 year olds. It's just weird. Flat out.

I'm mid-40's and have a number of early-20's working for me. They are all very hard working, what I'm about to write isn't meant as a slight at all; it's just the truth-I don't understand 3/4 of what they say and I certainly can't imagine trying to live with a group of 18-20 year olds. We don't speak the same generational language therefore I struggle to pick up nuance when they speak. There's too much slay, periodt, etc. thrown in so I miss context and need clarification. Again not a slight, we just aren't the same generation and therefore communicate in a different fashion. Seems unfathomable that someone who is a millennial would not simply ask to be accommodated. They are at best, weird. At worst, up to serious no good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Other than for nefarious purposes I don't see why a 37 year old of either gender would want to live with a group of 18 year olds. It's just weird. Flat out.

I'm mid-40's and have a number of early-20's working for me. They are all very hard working, what I'm about to write isn't meant as a slight at all; it's just the truth-I don't understand 3/4 of what they say and I certainly can't imagine trying to live with a group of 18-20 year olds. We don't speak the same generational language therefore I struggle to pick up nuance when they speak. There's too much slay, periodt, etc. thrown in so I miss context and need clarification. Again not a slight, we just aren't the same generation and therefore communicate in a different fashion. Seems unfathomable that someone who is a millennial would not simply ask to be accommodated. They are at best, weird. At worst, up to serious no good.

It's been pointed out multiple times that this person was likely ASSIGNED the spot by housing. It's not a "choice" and they are probably just as annoyed for exactly the reasons you point out (plus they are more likely to be partying and/or loud late). I can almost guarantee you this guys is not a predator or a weirdo, just someone on an atypical path and not enough resources to be able to avoid this as his housing option.

[Anonymous]

^^^

So if neither of the parties in this situation - the 37 year old and the 18 year old - are happy with the arrangement, then it can be changed. So why does OP need to post about it? Have the recent HS grad and the nearly 40 year old adult get on the phone with housing and get it changed asap.

Name the school OP so we can see what their actual policies are with regard to a 37 year old living in a dorm with an 18 year old.

I'll wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^

So if neither of the parties in this situation - the 37 year old and the 18 year old - are happy with the arrangement, then it can be changed. So why does OP need to post about it? Have the recent HS grad and the nearly 40 year old adult get on the phone with housing and get it changed asap.

Name the school OP so we can see what their actual policies are with regard to a 37 year old living in a dorm with an 18 year old.

I'll wait.

Keep in mind that the OP is (supposedly) talking about her college roommate's daughter's college suitemate.

[Anonymous]

37-year old male? I’m picturing ex-military guy along the lines of the guy who played Jack Reacher. She should be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Is this what is known as "concern trolling?

Not really.

What kind of trolling is it then?

Op here I get that it seems so weird/ unlikely and touches on hot button issues so I understand it might seem like a troll post-fair enough. It is true, though, and as I said in my first post this is not an anti all gender housing post-if anything it’s an anti mixed age housing post.

So age discrimination is ok?

I totally get where you are coming from, OP and would not want my daughter in the same dorm as a 37 year old man. But when you opt for gender inclusive housing, you lose control on who defines what inclusive means and are stuck in the position of being age exclusive.

How uncomfortable is your daughter? Tell her to stand up for herself here.

Huh? Gender inclusive doesn’t mean age inclusive. Why is she “losing control”?

Exactly. Take gender out of it. I don't think my child would be cool with getting roomate closer to my age than theirs.

[Anonymous]

Get with the program. You idiots voted for this nonsense so pay the piper and zip it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is about my college roommates daughter. She was planning to live in a suite w 4 friends but at the last minute one had to take a semester off. They were signed up for gender inclusive housing bc one suite mate is trans and one non-binary. (Note: I know this seems like it might be a set up for an anti trans or anti gender inclusive house post but it’s not.)

So at move in the new person has already moved in but isn’t around. They know his name is larlo smith, all is fine.

An hour or so after all parents are gone, larlo smith comes back to the suite and is a 37 year old man.

This seems…strange. I’m sensitive to the fact that larlo may have financial circumstances that make on campus housing a must (and have no issues with gender inclusive housing.)

And yet, this still just seems very, very strange. Maybe there should be singles for students over a certain age?

That’s what your college roommate’s daughter gets for selecting gender inclusive housing. She opened this door, and now she gets what she gets. Zero sympathy from me.

[Anonymous]

The suite mate is actually 3'7". Blame spellcheck.

[Anonymous]

Wasn’t Rivers Cuomo from Weezer living in a dorm at Harvard intermittently as a much-older undergraduate? He would be a cool suite mate. Or an ex-military person like a PP said. My alma mater had a former ballet dancer or two every few years, but they were closer to 25-26 year old freshman versus 37.

[Anonymous]

Found it- a photo of Rivers Cuomo in a dorm at age 34:

https://www.weezerpedia.com/wiki/Harvard#:~:text=Rivers%20Cuomo%20applied%20for%20Harvard,fall%202004%20and%20spring%202006.

I’m sure it’s less glamorous than a single at Harvard with a famous musician, OP, but I guess it’s not completely unheard of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found it- a photo of Rivers Cuomo in a dorm at age 34:

https://www.weezerpedia.com/wiki/Harvard#:~:text=Rivers%20Cuomo%20applied%20for%20Harvard,fall%202004%20and%20spring%202006.

I’m sure it’s less glamorous than a single at Harvard with a famous musician, OP, but I guess it’s not completely unheard of.

Say it ain’t so.