Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have never been to a child-free wedding (we declined the only one we've been invited to), and I have also never been to a wedding that was ruined by a child. I guess I am lucky!


Probably it's your kids running amok and of course you don't see it as ruined. You're too busy snapping pics as they run wild.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If these couples invited you to a very nice dinner, would you bring your kids? Nope. So why is a wedding any different? Get a damn sitter or don’t go.


It's really not that simple when every single wedding is out of town.


It's very simple to check the "no" box and move on. What's hard about that?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I've been attending weddings for 20 years and this is the 2nd to 5th time I've been invited to child-free weddings. I don't get it. At least for one wedding we know we're one of only 2 people with kids in the family. It's just so off putting. I'd frankly rather not be invited.


Children are a major PITA at weddings. I had a "no child under 16" at my wedding. If it's a hardship for you then RSVP no.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.


That's crazy. I'd just say no.

FWIW, my DC was a ring bearer in a relative's wedding, and he went to the rehearsal dinner and was at the first couple of hours of the reception, and then we got a baby sitter for the last few hours for him and the flower girls so they could go to bed. But that was our choice.

Our DC's first outing when he was a baby was a friend's wedding. I mentioned something about finding a babysitter and she insisted we bring him. I didn't even get to see him much because my friends all wanted to hold him.

Some of my best memories from weddings are kids dancing and having fun. The people who gripe about kids "drawing attention" aren't worried about the kids being fussy or making noise, they're just narcissists.


No. The people who think their brats running wild, babies crying, pulling your boob out in front of everyone and nursing and then changing diapers at the table. Asking caterers to baby sit so you can dance. I used to cater weddings and have witnessed all of the
above. Nobody wants bratty children at their wedding


Anonymous
And then they have kids and expect their besties to include everyone now that it impacts them. The last one to get married that went to all the bridal and bachelorette shenanigans has a smaller pool that will make time for her and is expected to include all or is selfish troll. There is no winning.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.


That's crazy. I'd just say no.

FWIW, my DC was a ring bearer in a relative's wedding, and he went to the rehearsal dinner and was at the first couple of hours of the reception, and then we got a baby sitter for the last few hours for him and the flower girls so they could go to bed. But that was our choice.

Our DC's first outing when he was a baby was a friend's wedding. I mentioned something about finding a babysitter and she insisted we bring him. I didn't even get to see him much because my friends all wanted to hold him.

Some of my best memories from weddings are kids dancing and having fun. The people who gripe about kids "drawing attention" aren't worried about the kids being fussy or making noise, they're just narcissists.


No. The people who think their brats running wild, babies crying, pulling your boob out in front of everyone and nursing and then changing diapers at the table. Asking caterers to baby sit so you can dance. I used to cater weddings and have witnessed all of the
above. Nobody wants bratty children at their wedding




You seem very unhappy in general.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have never been to a child-free wedding (we declined the only one we've been invited to), and I have also never been to a wedding that was ruined by a child. I guess I am lucky!


Probably it's your kids running amok and of course you don't see it as ruined. You're too busy snapping pics as they run wild.


No. I do feel bad though that this seems to be the only type of child you know.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Def a bridezilla thing. Even when it’s your day, still not the center of the world. Kids are a part of the community. Folks have really gotten too precious about their expectations.


I blame social media. Brides these days don’t want to celebrate a wedding, they want to star in a social media event. I genuinely don’t think many of them care much about the meaning of the event.


+1. I would have been to happy to elope and probably should have! Our wedding was low key by today's standards and there is NO WAY I'd want to plan a wedding today. And I have two daughters...


In some ways these events are not unrelated. I firmly believe that the rise of narcissistic brides who ban children from weddings is associated with the rise of badly behaved children. In both cases it’s the result of bad parenting. The terrible brats running around weddings without discipline turn into the grossly self-aborbed brides. They are the same people just twenty years apart.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have never been to a child-free wedding (we declined the only one we've been invited to), and I have also never been to a wedding that was ruined by a child. I guess I am lucky!


Probably it's your kids running amok and of course you don't see it as ruined. You're too busy snapping pics as they run wild.


No. I do feel bad though that this seems to be the only type of child you know.


They are hard to miss at weddings. And their parents sound a lot like you, totally oblivious.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Def a bridezilla thing. Even when it’s your day, still not the center of the world. Kids are a part of the community. Folks have really gotten too precious about their expectations.


I blame social media. Brides these days don’t want to celebrate a wedding, they want to star in a social media event. I genuinely don’t think many of them care much about the meaning of the event.


+1. I would have been to happy to elope and probably should have! Our wedding was low key by today's standards and there is NO WAY I'd want to plan a wedding today. And I have two daughters...


In some ways these events are not unrelated. I firmly believe that the rise of narcissistic brides who ban children from weddings is associated with the rise of badly behaved children. In both cases it’s the result of bad parenting. The terrible brats running around weddings without discipline turn into the grossly self-aborbed brides. They are the same people just twenty years apart.


But at least the first part in rectifying that wrong is banning the younger generation of brats from the weddings. They won't let the bad parenting ruin the next cycle of weddings. Maybe the parents will get a clue. Because the parenting certainly isn't getting better. Ask the teachers how it's going.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:And then they have kids and expect their besties to include everyone now that it impacts them. The last one to get married that went to all the bridal and bachelorette shenanigans has a smaller pool that will make time for her and is expected to include all or is selfish troll. There is no winning.


I was the last one to get married and kids were welcomed at my wedding.
Anonymous
One of my favorite memories from my reception is dancing with my 4 year old niece and the 6 year old daughter of my husband's best friend. To each their own, if you don't want kids at your wedding that's fine. But IMO it's better to include than exclude.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Get a sitter or send in your regrets. This is not hard.


No one is saying it’s hard — what a sh!ta$$ and disrespectful response. OP is just frustrated that there are now 4 weddings s/he has to either decline or pay for childcare; it’s not the wedding party’s fault by any means, but it can still suck and OP is allowed to be disappointed.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get a sitter or send in your regrets. This is not hard.


No one is saying it’s hard — what a sh!ta$$ and disrespectful response. OP is just frustrated that there are now 4 weddings s/he has to either decline or pay for childcare; it’s not the wedding party’s fault by any means, but it can still suck and OP is allowed to be disappointed.


NP. It seems to me it would be a whole lot easier on OP if she simply felt her feelings, checked the “no” box, and then moved on with her day instead of ruminating and trying to drum up pity on the Internet. Why fuel the bad feelings by picking over them with total strangers? How is that better than simply moving on?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get a sitter or send in your regrets. This is not hard.


No one is saying it’s hard — what a sh!ta$$ and disrespectful response. OP is just frustrated that there are now 4 weddings s/he has to either decline or pay for childcare; it’s not the wedding party’s fault by any means, but it can still suck and OP is allowed to be disappointed.


NP. It seems to me it would be a whole lot easier on OP if she simply felt her feelings, checked the “no” box, and then moved on with her day instead of ruminating and trying to drum up pity on the Internet. Why fuel the bad feelings by picking over them with total strangers? How is that better than simply moving on?



Op doesn’t seem to be ruminating. It was a vent. It helps organize thoughts around tackling a problem.
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