AITA: Wife Bought Expensive Furniture W/O My Consent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean when you say that you can afford it? Is it like, this is a good chunk of our savings over the last couple of years, but we can afford it? Or is it like, if I pick up some extra work over the next couple of weeks, that will pretty much cover the cost?

OP here. We can afford it meaning that it is expandable income. All of our accounts are covered and this money is pretty much to do with however we please. We often end up putting it into savings. Our annual HHI is 275k. Not rich but we earn enough to be comfortable.

I thought your HHI was higher than this. This sounds like a pretty high percentage of your disposable income.

It sounds to me like you and your wife need to come up with some kind of real budget and plan for your financial future. If you want to save the money is it for the child’s college, or to retire earlier, or to buy a new car in a few years, or for a vacation?
If you don’t have a lot of expenses, and a good portion of your income isn’t earmarked for anything, you are going to have these same arguments over and over again.

OP here. We live off my salary even though she works. We made a decision when we married that we will live off my salary and put her salary into savings. We still live below my salary and a good amount of disposable income left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean when you say that you can afford it? Is it like, this is a good chunk of our savings over the last couple of years, but we can afford it? Or is it like, if I pick up some extra work over the next couple of weeks, that will pretty much cover the cost?

OP here. We can afford it meaning that it is expandable income. All of our accounts are covered and this money is pretty much to do with however we please. We often end up putting it into savings. Our annual HHI is 275k. Not rich but we earn enough to be comfortable.

I thought your HHI was higher than this. This sounds like a pretty high percentage of your disposable income.

It sounds to me like you and your wife need to come up with some kind of real budget and plan for your financial future. If you want to save the money is it for the child’s college, or to retire earlier, or to buy a new car in a few years, or for a vacation?
If you don’t have a lot of expenses, and a good portion of your income isn’t earmarked for anything, you are going to have these same arguments over and over again.

OP here. We live off my salary even though she works. We made a decision when we married that we will live off my salary and put her salary into savings. We still live below my salary and a good amount of disposable income left.

Well, now you will be a family of 3 so that may not work anymore as your household expenses will increase. Why don't you talk to your wife about it instead of trying to explain to people here that what worked in the past is no longer working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean when you say that you can afford it? Is it like, this is a good chunk of our savings over the last couple of years, but we can afford it? Or is it like, if I pick up some extra work over the next couple of weeks, that will pretty much cover the cost?

OP here. We can afford it meaning that it is expandable income. All of our accounts are covered and this money is pretty much to do with however we please. We often end up putting it into savings. Our annual HHI is 275k. Not rich but we earn enough to be comfortable.

I thought your HHI was higher than this. This sounds like a pretty high percentage of your disposable income.

It sounds to me like you and your wife need to come up with some kind of real budget and plan for your financial future. If you want to save the money is it for the child’s college, or to retire earlier, or to buy a new car in a few years, or for a vacation?
If you don’t have a lot of expenses, and a good portion of your income isn’t earmarked for anything, you are going to have these same arguments over and over again.

OP here. We live off my salary even though she works. We made a decision when we married that we will live off my salary and put her salary into savings. We still live below my salary and a good amount of disposable income left.

Good for you for hanging in for 10 pages of harpies harping on you.

But let it go, gurl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean when you say that you can afford it? Is it like, this is a good chunk of our savings over the last couple of years, but we can afford it? Or is it like, if I pick up some extra work over the next couple of weeks, that will pretty much cover the cost?

OP here. We can afford it meaning that it is expandable income. All of our accounts are covered and this money is pretty much to do with however we please. We often end up putting it into savings. Our annual HHI is 275k. Not rich but we earn enough to be comfortable.

I thought your HHI was higher than this. This sounds like a pretty high percentage of your disposable income.

It sounds to me like you and your wife need to come up with some kind of real budget and plan for your financial future. If you want to save the money is it for the child’s college, or to retire earlier, or to buy a new car in a few years, or for a vacation?
If you don’t have a lot of expenses, and a good portion of your income isn’t earmarked for anything, you are going to have these same arguments over and over again.

OP here. We live off my salary even though she works. We made a decision when we married that we will live off my salary and put her salary into savings. We still live below my salary and a good amount of disposable income left.

Then let this go. Building a family is expensive. Maybe you could have shaved this down to $3k instead of $6k. Is the difference of $3k really worth this angst when you have a good amount of disposable income available each month?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean when you say that you can afford it? Is it like, this is a good chunk of our savings over the last couple of years, but we can afford it? Or is it like, if I pick up some extra work over the next couple of weeks, that will pretty much cover the cost?

OP here. We can afford it meaning that it is expandable income. All of our accounts are covered and this money is pretty much to do with however we please. We often end up putting it into savings. Our annual HHI is 275k. Not rich but we earn enough to be comfortable.

I thought your HHI was higher than this. This sounds like a pretty high percentage of your disposable income.

It sounds to me like you and your wife need to come up with some kind of real budget and plan for your financial future. If you want to save the money is it for the child’s college, or to retire earlier, or to buy a new car in a few years, or for a vacation?
If you don’t have a lot of expenses, and a good portion of your income isn’t earmarked for anything, you are going to have these same arguments over and over again.

OP here. We live off my salary even though she works. We made a decision when we married that we will live off my salary and put her salary into savings. We still live below my salary and a good amount of disposable income left.

Then let this go. Building a family is expensive. Maybe you could have shaved this down to $3k instead of $6k. Is the difference of $3k really worth this angst when you have a good amount of disposable income available each month?

OP here. I said the amount wasn’t the main issue. It’s the not telling me after she made a big deal about my purchase and set a budget and authorization that upset me.

[Anonymous]

Pay peanuts get monkeys.

Dcum is free, tons of troll monkeys and omg this has 25+ sock puppet follow ups. All from some troll pretending not to know how much furniture actually costs. Not even lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean when you say that you can afford it? Is it like, this is a good chunk of our savings over the last couple of years, but we can afford it? Or is it like, if I pick up some extra work over the next couple of weeks, that will pretty much cover the cost?

OP here. We can afford it meaning that it is expandable income. All of our accounts are covered and this money is pretty much to do with however we please. We often end up putting it into savings. Our annual HHI is 275k. Not rich but we earn enough to be comfortable.

I thought your HHI was higher than this. This sounds like a pretty high percentage of your disposable income.

It sounds to me like you and your wife need to come up with some kind of real budget and plan for your financial future. If you want to save the money is it for the child’s college, or to retire earlier, or to buy a new car in a few years, or for a vacation?
If you don’t have a lot of expenses, and a good portion of your income isn’t earmarked for anything, you are going to have these same arguments over and over again.

OP here. We live off my salary even though she works. We made a decision when we married that we will live off my salary and put her salary into savings. We still live below my salary and a good amount of disposable income left.

Then let this go. Building a family is expensive. Maybe you could have shaved this down to $3k instead of $6k. Is the difference of $3k really worth this angst when you have a good amount of disposable income available each month?

OP here. I said the amount wasn’t the main issue. It’s the not telling me after she made a big deal about my purchase and set a budget and authorization that upset me.

She’s inconsistent. Pregnant women are crazy. Life isn’t fair. I’m not sure what you’re looking for here, op. Y’all need to work together better. She shouldn’t have gotten so upset about the glider, and you shouldn’t be so upset about the nursery furniture. Sometimes a “yes, dear” can go a long way to solving a problem in a marriage.

[Anonymous]

You sound controlling.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I discuss big purchases, or at least give each other a heads up we are planning on making one. For us over 6k would be a lot of money to spend on something and it would impact our finances if we both spent this amount whenever each of us felt like it.

I’m with OP. If he and his wife made an agreement around when to discuss purchases, they should stick to it or discuss modifying it.

[Anonymous]

Stop with the "authorization" language. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"She didn’t get any authorization from me first"

WHAT?

How much was the total troll?

Did you read his explanation of what he means by authorization? He meant agreement. Sorrynotsorry that your lawyer husband controls your tacky ass YSL crossbody, sweetheart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"She didn’t get any authorization from me first"

WHAT?

How much was the total troll?

+1

I'd be ok of OP said "She didn’t give me a heads up first" since they have an agreement to discuss large purchases but AUTHORIZATION?!

I can smell the SAHMommies from like hundreds of miles away. You're the only ones offended by this. Normal couples (especially ones that are both earning money) tend to agree on large purchases. Your relationship with your husband is clearly forked up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she had let you know, would you have said no?

OP here. I would have suggested we look at cheaper options.

Different poster, but that is why she didn't tell you. Nesting mothers-to-be are not in the mood for compromise. Take a look at the cost of nursery furniture in general. You'll probably see comparable prices. This furniture will probably last for all the children you choose to have and have a decent resale value once you are done with it. Unless this breaks the bank, it isn't worth the aggravation. Let it go.

Totally agree with this. It may be a bit on the higher end cost wise, but it’s not crazy for everything she got. If you can afford it, I’d drop it.

Hm, I spent $199 on a crib and $500 on a dresser and $400 on a glider for my daughters' nursery.

[Anonymous]

So many dumb mommies on this post.

[Anonymous]

OP: you sound like my ex husband. You are going to end up divorced.