AITA: Wife Bought Expensive Furniture W/O My Consent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"She didn’t get any authorization from me first"

WHAT?

How much was the total troll?

His wording is off but most people take their spouse's input before making a big financial decision.

That being said, you can't reason with a first time prego and live happily so let it go but rationally discuss importance of making bug decisions together, as being parents y'all have to be more responsible and will face more issues worth a mutual brainstorming.

OP here. I don’t think my wording was off. It may come across as harsh but is isn’t. We both are free to spend whatever we want, but bigger purchases over $500 are always given a heads up and authorization by each other. This allows us to keep our budget under control and not overspend.

You’re using corporate language to describe a personal interaction. That’s what pp means by your wording being off.

It’s totally understandable that you’re upset, but just a heads up that your wife is in total nesting mode, it’s hormonal, and crap like this will happen. If you in a fortunate enough position that $6k doesn’t cause a giant dent in your finances, then live with it and ask her to give you a heads up going forward.

[Anonymous]

If she had let you know, would you have said no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"She didn’t get any authorization from me first"

WHAT?

How much was the total troll?

+1

I'd be ok of OP said "She didn’t give me a heads up first" since they have an agreement to discuss large purchases but AUTHORIZATION?!

OP here. That’s my wife’s term actually. I once made a large purchase without her knowledge and we had to set a budget and said to get authorization from each other for any purchase over $500.

[Anonymous]

Consider giving her a pass on this one if you can afford the furniture. Pregnant mothers want what they want and she didn't want you trying to replace her careful selection with cheap Ikea stuff. If you're planning on more than one child, remember that future children will also be using this furniture so it's worth it to buy quality pieces that will hold up for years.

IMO, $500 is too low for the "spouse authorization" rule. Consider raising the amount to $1500.

[Anonymous]

Your sir, are a dik!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much over?

Technically if each individual piece was within the limit, she did nothing wrong.

OP here. It was $6600. Most of the items were exceeding the $500. I’m just annoyed she did not let me know about a purchase this large.

That is A LOT for baby furniture, did she get everything she needs or is there still stuff missing? Did she buy qualify or cheap stuff with an expensive label?

OP here. She did. We do need little things still.

She purchased

Larkin crib + conversion kit
Larkin dresser w/ changing table top
Larkin nightstand
Larkin bookcase
Comfort swivel glider + ottoman
Faye rug + runner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much over?

Technically if each individual piece was within the limit, she did nothing wrong.

OP here. It was $6600. Most of the items were exceeding the $500. I’m just annoyed she did not let me know about a purchase this large.

I’d be super pissed for a lot of reasons. Money would be one. That’s a ridiculous amount. Second would be violation of our agreement. Third would be excluding me from participating in decorating the baby’s room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she had let you know, would you have said no?

OP here. I would have suggested we look at cheaper options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much over?

Technically if each individual piece was within the limit, she did nothing wrong.

OP here. It was $6600. Most of the items were exceeding the $500. I’m just annoyed she did not let me know about a purchase this large.

I’d be super pissed for a lot of reasons. Money would be one. That’s a ridiculous amount. Second would be violation of our agreement. Third would be excluding me from participating in decorating the baby’s room.

OP here. This may sound bad but I don’t care about decorating the nursery. I will set it up but I could care less what the decor looks like. Same with our home. I let her pick it all because I don’t care about those things.

[Anonymous]

I'd be returning these items asap. Just because you're "nesting" doesnt mean you get to blow the budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider giving her a pass on this one if you can afford the furniture. Pregnant mothers want what they want and she didn't want you trying to replace her careful selection with cheap Ikea stuff. If you're planning on more than one child, remember that future children will also be using this furniture so it's worth it to buy quality pieces that will hold up for years.

IMO, $500 is too low for the "spouse authorization" rule. Consider raising the amount to $1500.

OP here. She set the limit after I purchased a $1200 glider for the living room. She decided we need
“ authorization” and a limit of $500 unless we both agreed on the purchase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she had let you know, would you have said no?

OP here. I would have suggested we look at cheaper options.

Different poster, but that is why she didn't tell you. Nesting mothers-to-be are not in the mood for compromise. Take a look at the cost of nursery furniture in general. You'll probably see comparable prices. This furniture will probably last for all the children you choose to have and have a decent resale value once you are done with it. Unless this breaks the bank, it isn't worth the aggravation. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she had let you know, would you have said no?

OP here. I would have suggested we look at cheaper options.

Different poster, but that is why she didn't tell you. Nesting mothers-to-be are not in the mood for compromise. Take a look at the cost of nursery furniture in general. You'll probably see comparable prices. This furniture will probably last for all the children you choose to have and have a decent resale value once you are done with it. Unless this breaks the bank, it isn't worth the aggravation. Let it go.

OP here. I do agree that I’m more upset about her blowing the $500 limit than the purchase itself. We can afford the purchase, it’s just that she made a big deal about me spending $1200 on a glider, and set the $500 with authorization. This was in May and then now she goes and buys all of this without letting me know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"She didn’t get any authorization from me first"

WHAT?

How much was the total troll?

I chalk it up to clumsy use of language. He means "agreement." Surely you understand that.

OP, you're not the glassbowl. But if you continue to make an issue of it, you will be. You cannot win with a nesting pregnant woman.

Brace yourself. It gets worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she had let you know, would you have said no?

OP here. I would have suggested we look at cheaper options.

Different poster, but that is why she didn't tell you. Nesting mothers-to-be are not in the mood for compromise. Take a look at the cost of nursery furniture in general. You'll probably see comparable prices. This furniture will probably last for all the children you choose to have and have a decent resale value once you are done with it. Unless this breaks the bank, it isn't worth the aggravation. Let it go.

Totally agree with this. It may be a bit on the higher end cost wise, but it’s not crazy for everything she got. If you can afford it, I’d drop it.