AITA: Wife Bought Expensive Furniture W/O My Consent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"She didn’t get any authorization from me first"

WHAT?

How much was the total troll?

+1

I'd be ok of OP said "She didn’t give me a heads up first" since they have an agreement to discuss large purchases but AUTHORIZATION?!

I can smell the SAHMommies from like hundreds of miles away. You're the only ones offended by this. Normal couples (especially ones that are both earning money) tend to agree on large purchases. Your relationship with your husband is clearly forked up.

So you’re saying Op is in an abnormal relationship since his wife went hog wild at Pottery Barn ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "authorization" language. Ugh.

+1. And I agree with OP. It’s not cool to disregard the budget you’ve both agreed to. But the “authorization” language is throwing people off and posters are misunderstanding.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine buying nursery furniture without my spouse. We shopped together, every time we bought furniture for our home. I was upset when he bought some paintings without me input.
She should have consulted you, and only partly because of the cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "authorization" language. Ugh.

+1. And I agree with OP. It’s not cool to disregard the budget you’ve both agreed to. But the “authorization” language is throwing people off and posters are misunderstanding.

And if this is the language you use with your wife, she is not going to treat it like a partnership. She will continue to go around you. She knew you would say no. She shouldn't need your permission. You can discuss, but sometimes you need to let someone have their way. I'm presuming she looked for a while before making this choice. It was not an impulse buy.

It might be a good opportunity to talk about what kind of parents you want to be re material items- we do not let our kids have it all even though we could; we want them to have some grit.

[Anonymous]

If women lose all grip on reality when they’re pregnant, why aren’t we allowed to discriminate against them?

[Anonymous]

Wait, op, why weren’t you sitting with your wife holding her hand if purchasing online or with her in person holding her hand while purchasing furniture?
I haven’t known a man yet who prioritizes furniture. I’m also appalled that you weren’t present when your wife was buying this stuff yet you dare to complain about what she spent. Add to this you had your own pass with buying something expensive for you.
You need to be more present and loving with your wife. If you want to dial down the spending, literally be there with her. Also listen to what she says. It’s really that simple. If she was reasonable before and you don’t think she is now, there is a reason for that. Find out what it is and realize the answer may just be “baby”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much over?

Technically if each individual piece was within the limit, she did nothing wrong.

That’s probably what she was thinking. If I had to prepare for a baby by myself with no more budgetary input than a dictatorial arbitrary rule, that’s what I would do.

[Anonymous]

You could always let her manage the budget and you get to look at it now and then. That’s what we do after two kids.

Most of the income goes to the kids and necessary living expenses.

Welcome to parenthood!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If women lose all grip on reality when they’re pregnant, why aren’t we allowed to discriminate against them?

If donald Trump can be president, the most emotional and irrational woman can be. Can you imagine if a female president waltzed into the briefing room in mismatched foundation and asked why we can’t inject bleach?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine buying nursery furniture without my spouse. We shopped together, every time we bought furniture for our home. I was upset when he bought some paintings without me input.
She should have consulted you, and only partly because of the cost.

I can. My husband loves his kids, but he won’t go anywhere near a furniture store. When he needs furniture, he tells me what he wants and I order it like his personal secretary. It’s one of those odd things about someone that you only learn after you marry them. I decided this is not a dealbreaker.

[Anonymous]

I know one really rich guy who didn’t have kids until he was 50 or so. He set up an account for his SAHM wife to spend on anything. As she earned his trust, he put more and more in it and didn’t pay much attention to what she spent it on. He could have but as far as I know he never did. He only got involved with things like school and camp tuition. That’s another way to handle this, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine buying nursery furniture without my spouse. We shopped together, every time we bought furniture for our home. I was upset when he bought some paintings without me input.
She should have consulted you, and only partly because of the cost.

I can. My husband loves his kids, but he won’t go anywhere near a furniture store. When he needs furniture, he tells me what he wants and I order it like his personal secretary. It’s one of those odd things about someone that you only learn after you marry them. I decided this is not a dealbreaker.

I pick out and buy all the furniture. I can’t remember if I ran it by him or not? DH has one room, his office, that I didn’t furnish. Instead of a window shade, there is a towel blocking the sun. It has been there for two years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much over?

Technically if each individual piece was within the limit, she did nothing wrong.

OP here. It was $6600. Most of the items were exceeding the $500. I’m just annoyed she did not let me know about a purchase this large.

Did you not think you needed nursery furniture? IMO she should have asked if you liked it. Nursey furniture should be a group decision.

[Anonymous]

I feel like this exact story is posted every other month

[Anonymous]

OP she clearly violated the agreement that she recommended herself. Don’t let it go otherwise she will do it again. She should apologize and promise to never do this again.