Tween going from private to public for middle school - what does she need to know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It entirely depends on the district/school. My kids did private from K and switched to public in middle school. Here are my takeaways:

-Have them do band. It’s fun and takes up a spot to an otherwise undesirable elective would fill.

-remind them to not engage in drama they may see.

-Don’t watch/run toward the fights.
Avoid the kids that are not doing the right things. Mind their own business (unless it is a safety issue, in which case discreetly notify an adult)

-avoid the bathrooms unless it is an emergency

-pack your lunch. Bad food plus long lines.

-be kind and helpful to other kids in class that may be struggling

Overall I think my kids are gaining a lot of empathy for others and appreciation for how we have parented them so far.

This is fantastic. Thank you!!!!!

I’m the PP. Also adding you really need to supplement at home too. Academics in public school are subpar. It is what it is. My child’s “advanced” ELA read two books (that she already read several yrs ago in elementary) the entire year and wrote a one, maybe two 3-paragraph essays. They are 100 percent focused on 1) behavior control and safety 2) getting kids that are far behind to catch up. They are not successful with either though.

I’d focus efforts and math and writing if you have to narrow it down for home study work.

Do you have evidence to support your assertion that “academics in public school are subpar”?

Nationally:

26% of 8th graders test proficient in math, per grade level standards

31% of 8th graders test proficient in reading

You can google this to verify. Proficiency varies by district, but the common denominator of the high achieving public school kids is what is happening at home.

This is DCUM…I doubt the poster is going to a school that has these scores.

Certainly there are high performing MS that feed into Whitman or Churchill or Langley, no?

But the schools are higher performing because of the PARENTS, not what they are doing at school. Public school curriculum is standard throughout the state

Not sure what you mean by standard. When you have a strong cohort the school is able to offer more advanced classes and, in high school, more AP classes.

A lot of privates around here have dropped AP classes.

Only Sidwell and GDS dropped all AP classes when push came to shove. Only GDS also dropped offering the AP test (Sidwell still allows kids to sit for the test).

STA and NCS backtracked and decided to retain some AP classes and offer all the tests. Bullis I believe kept all APs. No idea on Potomac.

The parochial never dropped APs and they are core to their curricula.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It entirely depends on the district/school. My kids did private from K and switched to public in middle school. Here are my takeaways:

-Have them do band. It’s fun and takes up a spot to an otherwise undesirable elective would fill.

-remind them to not engage in drama they may see.

-Don’t watch/run toward the fights.
Avoid the kids that are not doing the right things. Mind their own business (unless it is a safety issue, in which case discreetly notify an adult)

-avoid the bathrooms unless it is an emergency

-pack your lunch. Bad food plus long lines.

-be kind and helpful to other kids in class that may be struggling

Overall I think my kids are gaining a lot of empathy for others and appreciation for how we have parented them so far.

This is fantastic. Thank you!!!!!

I’m the PP. Also adding you really need to supplement at home too. Academics in public school are subpar. It is what it is. My child’s “advanced” ELA read two books (that she already read several yrs ago in elementary) the entire year and wrote a one, maybe two 3-paragraph essays. They are 100 percent focused on 1) behavior control and safety 2) getting kids that are far behind to catch up. They are not successful with either though.

I’d focus efforts and math and writing if you have to narrow it down for home study work.

Do you have evidence to support your assertion that “academics in public school are subpar”?

Nationally:

26% of 8th graders test proficient in math, per grade level standards

31% of 8th graders test proficient in reading

You can google this to verify. Proficiency varies by district, but the common denominator of the high achieving public school kids is what is happening at home.

This is DCUM…I doubt the poster is going to a school that has these scores.

Certainly there are high performing MS that feed into Whitman or Churchill or Langley, no?

But the schools are higher performing because of the PARENTS, not what they are doing at school. Public school curriculum is standard throughout the state

Not sure what you mean by standard. When you have a strong cohort the school is able to offer more advanced classes and, in high school, more AP classes.

A lot of privates around here have dropped AP classes.

I was referring to large public schools with strong academic performance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

Both can be true. A public school may allow makeups, but if you don’t do the make up then you will get an F. The teacher is less likely to proactively engage a parent during the term so an F can easily get printed on the report card.

A private school is likely to intervene earlier and more forcefully if a kid has bad grades. The teacher will reach out to parents at an earlier stage to turn things around.

My kids’ public schools send instant notice of every single grade. You know their grade at the same time they do. It isn’t a mystery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It entirely depends on the district/school. My kids did private from K and switched to public in middle school. Here are my takeaways:

-Have them do band. It’s fun and takes up a spot to an otherwise undesirable elective would fill.

-remind them to not engage in drama they may see.

-Don’t watch/run toward the fights.
Avoid the kids that are not doing the right things. Mind their own business (unless it is a safety issue, in which case discreetly notify an adult)

-avoid the bathrooms unless it is an emergency

-pack your lunch. Bad food plus long lines.

-be kind and helpful to other kids in class that may be struggling

Overall I think my kids are gaining a lot of empathy for others and appreciation for how we have parented them so far.

This is fantastic. Thank you!!!!!

I’m the PP. Also adding you really need to supplement at home too. Academics in public school are subpar. It is what it is. My child’s “advanced” ELA read two books (that she already read several yrs ago in elementary) the entire year and wrote a one, maybe two 3-paragraph essays. They are 100 percent focused on 1) behavior control and safety 2) getting kids that are far behind to catch up. They are not successful with either though.

I’d focus efforts and math and writing if you have to narrow it down for home study work.

Do you have evidence to support your assertion that “academics in public school are subpar”?

Nationally:

26% of 8th graders test proficient in math, per grade level standards

31% of 8th graders test proficient in reading

You can google this to verify. Proficiency varies by district, but the common denominator of the high achieving public school kids is what is happening at home.

link???

lol. National data is irrelevant inside the beltway

Not everyone on dcum is inside the beltway. Lots of schools in MCPS and FCPS which are failing severely.

Not the PP but glad we agree that it all depends on the school. Public or private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

Both can be true. A public school may allow makeups, but if you don’t do the make up then you will get an F. The teacher is less likely to proactively engage a parent during the term so an F can easily get printed on the report card.

A private school is likely to intervene earlier and more forcefully if a kid has bad grades. The teacher will reach out to parents at an earlier stage to turn things around.

My kids’ public schools send instant notice of every single grade. You know their grade at the same time they do. It isn’t a mystery.

You must have a system setting that way. I assure you that not every DMV public automatically does that.

Interestingly, my kid’s private did make it clear that they do automatically send a notification to parents if any assignment is missed or any graded work comes back at less than an 80. They do in fact allow late assignments but you can score no higher than a B and you have 48 hours at which point it is a zero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

What public school system is this? Are you from DMV?

Not PP, but that sounds like my kid's FCPS school. Their bff in Catholic complains about teachers hounding them for work. My kid knows their teachers do not care if they miss an assignment. They will enter a zero in the grade book and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely never send a private school kid to public middle school. Wait until high school

These are bathrooms at Sherwood HS. From what I understand this is also happening at W schools.

Prison seems better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It entirely depends on the district/school. My kids did private from K and switched to public in middle school. Here are my takeaways:

-Have them do band. It’s fun and takes up a spot to an otherwise undesirable elective would fill.

-remind them to not engage in drama they may see.

-Don’t watch/run toward the fights.
Avoid the kids that are not doing the right things. Mind their own business (unless it is a safety issue, in which case discreetly notify an adult)

-avoid the bathrooms unless it is an emergency

-pack your lunch. Bad food plus long lines.

-be kind and helpful to other kids in class that may be struggling

Overall I think my kids are gaining a lot of empathy for others and appreciation for how we have parented them so far.

This is fantastic. Thank you!!!!!

I’m the PP. Also adding you really need to supplement at home too. Academics in public school are subpar. It is what it is. My child’s “advanced” ELA read two books (that she already read several yrs ago in elementary) the entire year and wrote a one, maybe two 3-paragraph essays. They are 100 percent focused on 1) behavior control and safety 2) getting kids that are far behind to catch up. They are not successful with either though.

I’d focus efforts and math and writing if you have to narrow it down for home study work.

Do you have evidence to support your assertion that “academics in public school are subpar”?

Nationally:

26% of 8th graders test proficient in math, per grade level standards

31% of 8th graders test proficient in reading

You can google this to verify. Proficiency varies by district, but the common denominator of the high achieving public school kids is what is happening at home.

link???

lol. National data is irrelevant inside the beltway

It’s not. It proves a school is only as good as the students in it, which are only as good as their parents/family unit who pushes them to succeed. “Good” public schools are good because they are filled with successful students due to parental effort and involvement. Hence why under performing will remain underperforming no matter how much money you throw at them. What this means for OP, is that she needs to stay involved and in tune with her child’s abilities and progress as school and adjust her efforts accordingly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It entirely depends on the district/school. My kids did private from K and switched to public in middle school. Here are my takeaways:

-Have them do band. It’s fun and takes up a spot to an otherwise undesirable elective would fill.

-remind them to not engage in drama they may see.

-Don’t watch/run toward the fights.
Avoid the kids that are not doing the right things. Mind their own business (unless it is a safety issue, in which case discreetly notify an adult)

-avoid the bathrooms unless it is an emergency

-pack your lunch. Bad food plus long lines.

-be kind and helpful to other kids in class that may be struggling

Overall I think my kids are gaining a lot of empathy for others and appreciation for how we have parented them so far.

This is fantastic. Thank you!!!!!

I’m the PP. Also adding you really need to supplement at home too. Academics in public school are subpar. It is what it is. My child’s “advanced” ELA read two books (that she already read several yrs ago in elementary) the entire year and wrote a one, maybe two 3-paragraph essays. They are 100 percent focused on 1) behavior control and safety 2) getting kids that are far behind to catch up. They are not successful with either though.

I’d focus efforts and math and writing if you have to narrow it down for home study work.

Do you have evidence to support your assertion that “academics in public school are subpar”?

Nationally:

26% of 8th graders test proficient in math, per grade level standards

31% of 8th graders test proficient in reading

You can google this to verify. Proficiency varies by district, but the common denominator of the high achieving public school kids is what is happening at home.

link???

lol. National data is irrelevant inside the beltway

It’s not. It proves a school is only as good as the students in it, which are only as good as their parents/family unit who pushes them to succeed. “Good” public schools are good because they are filled with successful students due to parental effort and involvement. Hence why under performing will remain underperforming no matter how much money you throw at them. What this means for OP, is that she needs to stay involved and in tune with her child’s abilities and progress as school and adjust her efforts accordingly

This is true of any school, public or private. Not understanding why a parent sending their kid to a high-performing public school needs to be dramatically more involved than a kid at a high-performing private school. Sure, likely more involved...but you don't need to do all kinds of out-of-school supplementing.

Again, the high-performing, higher income public middle schools offer 5x what the the lower performing schools offer in the same school district (at least in my school district). They offer advanced Math and language classes that the others do not, they offer ECs like robotics, Math Team, Science Olympiad, National History Day, etc. It's not fair...but it is the reality.

[Anonymous]

I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

What public school system is this? Are you from DMV?

Not PP, but that sounds like my kid's FCPS school. Their bff in Catholic complains about teachers hounding them for work. My kid knows their teachers do not care if they miss an assignment. They will enter a zero in the grade book and move on.

Laziness, or...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

And like always, girls suffer more. Can you imagine having your period and not being able to access a restroom? That's a third-world issue. I'm also curious if there's a demonstrated increase in UTIs in schools like this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

What public school system is this? Are you from DMV?

Not PP, but that sounds like my kid's FCPS school. Their bff in Catholic complains about teachers hounding them for work. My kid knows their teachers do not care if they miss an assignment. They will enter a zero in the grade book and move on.

Laziness, or...?

The kids in Catholic being lazy? No, I think they just might need more handholding. Which doesn’t bode well for college but I’m sure those kids will learn to manage themselves eventually.

[Anonymous]

Kids in my district, FCCPS, have no problems using bathrooms. Both DCs have never ever reported sex, drugs or violence in the bathrooms (Maybe one kid vaping one time and that got fixed quickly). I am so sad for kids who can't even use the freaking bathroom. How awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

Both can be true. A public school may allow makeups, but if you don’t do the make up then you will get an F. The teacher is less likely to proactively engage a parent during the term so an F can easily get printed on the report card.

A private school is likely to intervene earlier and more forcefully if a kid has bad grades. The teacher will reach out to parents at an earlier stage to turn things around.

My kids’ public schools send instant notice of every single grade. You know their grade at the same time they do. It isn’t a mystery.

Hmm. I don’t get notice. In fact, some teachers don’t update grades for several weeks/months in my child’s public middle school.