Tween going from private to public for middle school - what does she need to know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

Both can be true. A public school may allow makeups, but if you don’t do the make up then you will get an F. The teacher is less likely to proactively engage a parent during the term so an F can easily get printed on the report card.

A private school is likely to intervene earlier and more forcefully if a kid has bad grades. The teacher will reach out to parents at an earlier stage to turn things around.

My kids’ public schools send instant notice of every single grade. You know their grade at the same time they do. It isn’t a mystery.

Right, but at a private school you're a lot more likely to get a personal phone call from the teacher if Larla gets a C. At the public school, the information is all there and available, but if the kid has an F and it's posted in the online system, you may not hear about it from anyone.
So parents and kids have all the info they need to stay on top of grades, but no one is going to force feed it to them at a public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

Don’t overrreact. Kids at public school can always go to the bathroom. The school might shut down one set of bathrooms that is remote or that has proven to be a problem in the past. But there are plenty of other bathrooms available. It is like at the mall or on metro. Sometimes a bathroom is closed off. Not the end of the world.

Agree. They can use the bathrooms, there are just a lot of rules around it.

+1. All of the bathrooms at my kids’ HS are open and they can go whenever as long as it’s not the first 15 minutes of class. People need to calm down with this urban legend about no bathrooms being open.

Not quite an urban legend. My our middle school they can’t go first 10 min of class or the last 10 min of class. Bathrooms are kept locked during class time and if they get a pass they have to find a hall monitor to unlock. During passing time they are open, but are cleared by monitors when the bell rings. Unfortunately they’ve had to make these rules due to behaviours going on in the bathrooms.

So what you’re saying is….the kids can use the bathrooms, there are just rules about it.

Yes, which is why I said “ not quite” an urban legend. While they have opportunities to use the bathroom, it isn’t whenever they want. There are strict parameters limiting usage. It hasn’t been as issue for my kids, but they do avoid going bc of the limits and problems in the bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Sending a private school kid to public middle school is crazy talk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sending a private school kid to public middle school is crazy talk

Why? I did it and notihng "crazy" happened other than him meeting a ton of new friends in the neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

Both can be true. A public school may allow makeups, but if you don’t do the make up then you will get an F. The teacher is less likely to proactively engage a parent during the term so an F can easily get printed on the report card.

A private school is likely to intervene earlier and more forcefully if a kid has bad grades. The teacher will reach out to parents at an earlier stage to turn things around.

My kids’ public schools send instant notice of every single grade. You know their grade at the same time they do. It isn’t a mystery.

Hmm. I don’t get notice. In fact, some teachers don’t update grades for several weeks/months in my child’s public middle school.

Wait until high school. You will be so sick of getting hourly grade feedback every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

Both can be true. A public school may allow makeups, but if you don’t do the make up then you will get an F. The teacher is less likely to proactively engage a parent during the term so an F can easily get printed on the report card.

A private school is likely to intervene earlier and more forcefully if a kid has bad grades. The teacher will reach out to parents at an earlier stage to turn things around.

My kids’ public schools send instant notice of every single grade. You know their grade at the same time they do. It isn’t a mystery.

Hmm. I don’t get notice. In fact, some teachers don’t update grades for several weeks/months in my child’s public middle school.

Wait until high school. You will be so sick of getting hourly grade feedback every day.

lol! i have a senior in high school and it takes WEEKS to get grades back. So much so that each quarter is a suprise.

not sure what kind of work your kid does but it takes quite a while to grade and give feedback on papers. Calc tests as well take some time.

maybe your kids go to a school that only administers multiple choice online tests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sending a private school kid to public middle school is crazy talk

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

Both can be true. A public school may allow makeups, but if you don’t do the make up then you will get an F. The teacher is less likely to proactively engage a parent during the term so an F can easily get printed on the report card.

A private school is likely to intervene earlier and more forcefully if a kid has bad grades. The teacher will reach out to parents at an earlier stage to turn things around.

My kids’ public schools send instant notice of every single grade. You know their grade at the same time they do. It isn’t a mystery.

Hmm. I don’t get notice. In fact, some teachers don’t update grades for several weeks/months in my child’s public middle school.

Wait until high school. You will be so sick of getting hourly grade feedback every day.

lol! i have a senior in high school and it takes WEEKS to get grades back. So much so that each quarter is a suprise.

not sure what kind of work your kid does but it takes quite a while to grade and give feedback on papers. Calc tests as well take some time.

maybe your kids go to a school that only administers multiple choice online tests.

Whitman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

Both can be true. A public school may allow makeups, but if you don’t do the make up then you will get an F. The teacher is less likely to proactively engage a parent during the term so an F can easily get printed on the report card.

A private school is likely to intervene earlier and more forcefully if a kid has bad grades. The teacher will reach out to parents at an earlier stage to turn things around.

My kids’ public schools send instant notice of every single grade. You know their grade at the same time they do. It isn’t a mystery.

Hmm. I don’t get notice. In fact, some teachers don’t update grades for several weeks/months in my child’s public middle school.

Wait until high school. You will be so sick of getting hourly grade feedback every day.

lol! i have a senior in high school and it takes WEEKS to get grades back. So much so that each quarter is a suprise.

not sure what kind of work your kid does but it takes quite a while to grade and give feedback on papers. Calc tests as well take some time.

maybe your kids go to a school that only administers multiple choice online tests.

Whitman.

i’d hate to know how watered down that rigor is when you have teachers who can instantly grade assignments. i’m guessing your kid does nearly zero writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learn the late work/retest policy early. Kids who master this really use it to their advantage.

How so? To earn an 80? That’s the highest grade allowed on retests and late assignments.

Depends on the school, and sometimes teachers. DD's teachers only allow retests on summatives, not formatives. No one allows grades higher than an 89. Some require getting permission to retest, which requires showing that they have in fact, put in effort to learn the material. Late work turned in within a week or two seem to have no penalties.

+1 At my kid's school teachers have different policies on retakes and late assignments. It's a pain tbh. My kid didn't realize this year that his PE teacher followed the "official" school rule that missed work due to an absence must be turned in within 2 class periods after the absence. Most teachers are not that hard-nosed and will give a few extra days as long as you work out a date with them. He received a 0 on an assignment and got his first A- in PE of all things.

Lesson learned. Make sure you go over the policy for late assignments/retakes at the beginning of the year with your kid for each class to make sure they're paying close attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending a private school kid to public middle school is crazy talk

+1

Why? (OP here)

[Anonymous]

It depends on your kids and the district.

What is the academic ability of your child/children? Highly accelerated, above average, average, below average?

And what type of public school are they switching to? Is it high performing or low performing? Title 1?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

Both can be true. A public school may allow makeups, but if you don’t do the make up then you will get an F. The teacher is less likely to proactively engage a parent during the term so an F can easily get printed on the report card.

A private school is likely to intervene earlier and more forcefully if a kid has bad grades. The teacher will reach out to parents at an earlier stage to turn things around.

My kids’ public schools send instant notice of every single grade. You know their grade at the same time they do. It isn’t a mystery.

Hmm. I don’t get notice. In fact, some teachers don’t update grades for several weeks/months in my child’s public middle school.

Wait until high school. You will be so sick of getting hourly grade feedback every day.

lol! i have a senior in high school and it takes WEEKS to get grades back. So much so that each quarter is a suprise.

not sure what kind of work your kid does but it takes quite a while to grade and give feedback on papers. Calc tests as well take some time.

maybe your kids go to a school that only administers multiple choice online tests.

Whitman.

i’d hate to know how watered down that rigor is when you have teachers who can instantly grade assignments. i’m guessing your kid does nearly zero writing.

You clearly don’t know Whitman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on your kids and the district.

What is the academic ability of your child/children? Highly accelerated, above average, average, below average?

And what type of public school are they switching to? Is it high performing or low performing? Title 1?

High honors but phones it in. Has been late turning in some assignments and got full credit. We have to help her with larger projects (that are due months in advance)

The school is probably average or slightly above average.(75% range for math and reading)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what is wrong with using the bathroom?

Some publics, especially large ones lock them due to drugs, sex, vaping, rapes, violence.

And if they don't, you run the risk of all of the above.

Where the heck do you live?? We live in Fairfax and none of that is an issue.