Tween going from private to public for middle school - what does she need to know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

for middle school?!!!

Yes. My DD was hold in place Friday for 25 minutes so EMS could get the “medical emergency” out. A 6th grader overdosed. This is like the 4th this year. She says the bathrooms often smell like smoke.

what middle school is your kid at? I’m a middle school teacher in Loudoun and we have NEVER had a kid even do drugs in school let alone OD. And smoke? I haven’t even heard of a kid vaping.

You must live in a rough area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

Don’t overrreact. Kids at public school can always go to the bathroom. The school might shut down one set of bathrooms that is remote or that has proven to be a problem in the past. But there are plenty of other bathrooms available. It is like at the mall or on metro. Sometimes a bathroom is closed off. Not the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

And like always, girls suffer more. Can you imagine having your period and not being able to access a restroom? That's a third-world issue. I'm also curious if there's a demonstrated increase in UTIs in schools like this

Do you genuinely think there is only one bathroom in the whole school? You people need to get a grip. Some of the public schools around here are lapping private schools in terms of academic rigor and challenge. Is this weird bathroom folklore just a way for you to feel better about wasting money on private?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

for middle school?!!!

Yes. My DD was hold in place Friday for 25 minutes so EMS could get the “medical emergency” out. A 6th grader overdosed. This is like the 4th this year. She says the bathrooms often smell like smoke.

what middle school is your kid at? I’m a middle school teacher in Loudoun and we have NEVER had a kid even do drugs in school let alone OD. And smoke? I haven’t even heard of a kid vaping.

You must live in a rough area.

Same! Ours was a edible gummy case, someone reacted badly, ems had to come

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

for middle school?!!!

Yes. My DD was hold in place Friday for 25 minutes so EMS could get the “medical emergency” out. A 6th grader overdosed. This is like the 4th this year. She says the bathrooms often smell like smoke.

what middle school is your kid at? I’m a middle school teacher in Loudoun and we have NEVER had a kid even do drugs in school let alone OD. And smoke? I haven’t even heard of a kid vaping.

You must live in a rough area.

Similar at our middle school, except edible gummies that were being passed around, someone had a negative reaction and ems was called

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

Don’t overrreact. Kids at public school can always go to the bathroom. The school might shut down one set of bathrooms that is remote or that has proven to be a problem in the past. But there are plenty of other bathrooms available. It is like at the mall or on metro. Sometimes a bathroom is closed off. Not the end of the world.

Agree. They can use the bathrooms, there are just a lot of rules around it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

Don’t overrreact. Kids at public school can always go to the bathroom. The school might shut down one set of bathrooms that is remote or that has proven to be a problem in the past. But there are plenty of other bathrooms available. It is like at the mall or on metro. Sometimes a bathroom is closed off. Not the end of the world.

Agree. They can use the bathrooms, there are just a lot of rules around it.

+1. All of the bathrooms at my kids’ HS are open and they can go whenever as long as it’s not the first 15 minutes of class. People need to calm down with this urban legend about no bathrooms being open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

Don’t overrreact. Kids at public school can always go to the bathroom. The school might shut down one set of bathrooms that is remote or that has proven to be a problem in the past. But there are plenty of other bathrooms available. It is like at the mall or on metro. Sometimes a bathroom is closed off. Not the end of the world.

Agree. They can use the bathrooms, there are just a lot of rules around it.

+1. All of the bathrooms at my kids’ HS are open and they can go whenever as long as it’s not the first 15 minutes of class. People need to calm down with this urban legend about no bathrooms being open.

Not quite an urban legend. My our middle school they can’t go first 10 min of class or the last 10 min of class. Bathrooms are kept locked during class time and if they get a pass they have to find a hall monitor to unlock. During passing time they are open, but are cleared by monitors when the bell rings. Unfortunately they’ve had to make these rules due to behaviours going on in the bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

Don’t overrreact. Kids at public school can always go to the bathroom. The school might shut down one set of bathrooms that is remote or that has proven to be a problem in the past. But there are plenty of other bathrooms available. It is like at the mall or on metro. Sometimes a bathroom is closed off. Not the end of the world.

Agree. They can use the bathrooms, there are just a lot of rules around it.

+1. All of the bathrooms at my kids’ HS are open and they can go whenever as long as it’s not the first 15 minutes of class. People need to calm down with this urban legend about no bathrooms being open.

Not quite an urban legend. My our middle school they can’t go first 10 min of class or the last 10 min of class. Bathrooms are kept locked during class time and if they get a pass they have to find a hall monitor to unlock. During passing time they are open, but are cleared by monitors when the bell rings. Unfortunately they’ve had to make these rules due to behaviours going on in the bathrooms.

So what you’re saying is….the kids can use the bathrooms, there are just rules about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

And like always, girls suffer more. Can you imagine having your period and not being able to access a restroom? That's a third-world issue. I'm also curious if there's a demonstrated increase in UTIs in schools like this

Do you genuinely think there is only one bathroom in the whole school? You people need to get a grip. Some of the public schools around here are lapping private schools in terms of academic rigor and challenge. Is this weird bathroom folklore just a way for you to feel better about wasting money on private?

+1. Just had the vaping question with my schooler and her friend. They said that there is vaping (bathrooms smell “fruity”) but no bullying and definitely no raping. I know what it is like to have real problem bathrooms as I was attacked in mine back in the 80s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

What public school system is this? Are you from DMV?

Not PP, but that sounds like my kid's FCPS school. Their bff in Catholic complains about teachers hounding them for work. My kid knows their teachers do not care if they miss an assignment. They will enter a zero in the grade book and move on.

Laziness, or...?

The kids in Catholic being lazy? No, I think they just might need more handholding. Which doesn’t bode well for college but I’m sure those kids will learn to manage themselves eventually.

No, wondering about the FCPS teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

And like always, girls suffer more. Can you imagine having your period and not being able to access a restroom? That's a third-world issue. I'm also curious if there's a demonstrated increase in UTIs in schools like this

Do you genuinely think there is only one bathroom in the whole school? You people need to get a grip. Some of the public schools around here are lapping private schools in terms of academic rigor and challenge. Is this weird bathroom folklore just a way for you to feel better about wasting money on private?

At least my son can use whichever bathroom he wants, whenever he wants. Sorry you think it's normal to LOCK restrooms because 11 year olds can't behave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

Don’t overrreact. Kids at public school can always go to the bathroom. The school might shut down one set of bathrooms that is remote or that has proven to be a problem in the past. But there are plenty of other bathrooms available. It is like at the mall or on metro. Sometimes a bathroom is closed off. Not the end of the world.

Agree. They can use the bathrooms, there are just a lot of rules around it.

+1. All of the bathrooms at my kids’ HS are open and they can go whenever as long as it’s not the first 15 minutes of class. People need to calm down with this urban legend about no bathrooms being open.

So, if you're sitting in blood 10 minutes into class, what happens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

Both can be true. A public school may allow makeups, but if you don’t do the make up then you will get an F. The teacher is less likely to proactively engage a parent during the term so an F can easily get printed on the report card.

A private school is likely to intervene earlier and more forcefully if a kid has bad grades. The teacher will reach out to parents at an earlier stage to turn things around.

My kids’ public schools send instant notice of every single grade. You know their grade at the same time they do. It isn’t a mystery.

You must have a system setting that way. I assure you that not every DMV public automatically does that.

Interestingly, my kid’s private did make it clear that they do automatically send a notification to parents if any assignment is missed or any graded work comes back at less than an 80. They do in fact allow late assignments but you can score no higher than a B and you have 48 hours at which point it is a zero.

I'm the parent whose 8th grader went from K-7 in private to public starting this year (8th grade).

There is absolutly NO instant notification of grades in his public school, it takes sometimes 2 weeks to get a grade back. Also in his spanish and math class there is NO GRADED homwork, 100% of his grade is test based. He is fully welcome to do absolutly no homework and no classwork and it in theory having zero impact on his grade, however when test time comes if you want to do a retake (for which you can only score an 80 WITH A PERFECT TEST) all homework must be turned in or no retake. Also, there are natural consequences for not doing homework, in that you fail, unless you are natuatlly talented in the subject. You cannot fluff up your spanish or math grade with having mom and dad help you with your homework. In his math class this quater, it is exactly 5 unit tests that make up his entire grade. My son just had to do a spanish retake for which he got a 60 the first try. Since your max score is an 80, he retook his spanish, earned an 80, but due to the way the max score automatically removs 20 points, he still eneded up with a 60 on a test he "earned" and 80 on. I was hoping he would at least get a 90 so he could get the 70. This sucks becuase it is for high school credit.

In private school if my kid did not turn in even ONE homework assignment I got a personal email from the teacher. In his private school there were indeed make-ups, which I agree with, all teachers want kids to actaully learn the material. In his private school if he was not focused I would get a call, if they thought he did not get a concept I would get a call. There is no babysiting in public school like there was in private. I now have to look over everyting and hope to God he has written down when his tests are and when his assingments are due becuase teachers only communicate with the kids. We are doing classes next year for high school and we have been told staight out that if your kid is not at least at an A- do not bother with honors classes.

I think private school is GREAT for kids who need that hand holding and who are not yet self motivated, excellent for the bright ADD kid who needs intense structure. I think public is ideal for kids who are self starters, organized, and can take ownership for themselves. Unfortunatly my former private school child is really struggling with this transition and I hope he can get his shit together by high school. He was honor roll every trimester in private, but now in public has not hit honor roll once. I'm really pulling out my hair with how involved I now need to be vs just being reactive with the private school, however I'm glad we moved him 8th grade and are not experience this shock at the start of 9th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm truly floored by the bathroom situation, and have apparently been living entirely in a private school bubble. But that would be an absolute deal-breaker for me. Kids are human and access to a safe bathroom is a basic human right (and is recognized as such by the UN). If schools can't meet this minimum standard there is a major issue and I would move heaven and earth to avoid sending my kid to that school, be it through going (or staying) private or moving.

Don’t overrreact. Kids at public school can always go to the bathroom. The school might shut down one set of bathrooms that is remote or that has proven to be a problem in the past. But there are plenty of other bathrooms available. It is like at the mall or on metro. Sometimes a bathroom is closed off. Not the end of the world.

Agree. They can use the bathrooms, there are just a lot of rules around it.

+1. All of the bathrooms at my kids’ HS are open and they can go whenever as long as it’s not the first 15 minutes of class. People need to calm down with this urban legend about no bathrooms being open.

So, if you're sitting in blood 10 minutes into class, what happens?

So at your kids’ school, they can just get up at and walk out of the classroom at any point without a word to anyone to use the bathroom? Or is there structure, and rules, and exceptions to rules in an emergency? Psst…it’s the latter in public and private. But good try with the straw man.