Tween going from private to public for middle school - what does she need to know?

[Anonymous]

My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It entirely depends on the district/school. My kids did private from K and switched to public in middle school. Here are my takeaways:

-Have them do band. It’s fun and takes up a spot to an otherwise undesirable elective would fill.

-remind them to not engage in drama they may see.

-Don’t watch/run toward the fights.
Avoid the kids that are not doing the right things. Mind their own business (unless it is a safety issue, in which case discreetly notify an adult)

-avoid the bathrooms unless it is an emergency

-pack your lunch. Bad food plus long lines.

-be kind and helpful to other kids in class that may be struggling

Overall I think my kids are gaining a lot of empathy for others and appreciation for how we have parented them so far.

This is fantastic. Thank you!!!!!

I’m the PP. Also adding you really need to supplement at home too. Academics in public school are subpar. It is what it is. My child’s “advanced” ELA read two books (that she already read several yrs ago in elementary) the entire year and wrote a one, maybe two 3-paragraph essays. They are 100 percent focused on 1) behavior control and safety 2) getting kids that are far behind to catch up. They are not successful with either though.

I’d focus efforts and math and writing if you have to narrow it down for home study work.

What public do you go to? In our area (W school) people go private because public is too hard academically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely never send a private school kid to public middle school. Wait until high school

These are bathrooms at Sherwood HS. From what I understand this is also happening at W schools.

Wait - kids have no bathrooms they can use? What do they do if they need to go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

Her personal experience is inaccurate? Next tell her that her last vacation experience was inaccurate, or the story of her kids’ birth. I’m surprised this is new for you, but people can have different experiences. Vastly different. You do not have the One True Accurate Life Experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It entirely depends on the district/school. My kids did private from K and switched to public in middle school. Here are my takeaways:

-Have them do band. It’s fun and takes up a spot to an otherwise undesirable elective would fill.

-remind them to not engage in drama they may see.

-Don’t watch/run toward the fights.
Avoid the kids that are not doing the right things. Mind their own business (unless it is a safety issue, in which case discreetly notify an adult)

-avoid the bathrooms unless it is an emergency

-pack your lunch. Bad food plus long lines.

-be kind and helpful to other kids in class that may be struggling

Overall I think my kids are gaining a lot of empathy for others and appreciation for how we have parented them so far.

This is fantastic. Thank you!!!!!

I’m the PP. Also adding you really need to supplement at home too. Academics in public school are subpar. It is what it is. My child’s “advanced” ELA read two books (that she already read several yrs ago in elementary) the entire year and wrote a one, maybe two 3-paragraph essays. They are 100 percent focused on 1) behavior control and safety 2) getting kids that are far behind to catch up. They are not successful with either though.

I’d focus efforts and math and writing if you have to narrow it down for home study work.

Do you have evidence to support your assertion that “academics in public school are subpar”?

Nationally:

26% of 8th graders test proficient in math, per grade level standards

31% of 8th graders test proficient in reading

You can google this to verify. Proficiency varies by district, but the common denominator of the high achieving public school kids is what is happening at home.

link???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It entirely depends on the district/school. My kids did private from K and switched to public in middle school. Here are my takeaways:

-Have them do band. It’s fun and takes up a spot to an otherwise undesirable elective would fill.

-remind them to not engage in drama they may see.

-Don’t watch/run toward the fights.
Avoid the kids that are not doing the right things. Mind their own business (unless it is a safety issue, in which case discreetly notify an adult)

-avoid the bathrooms unless it is an emergency

-pack your lunch. Bad food plus long lines.

-be kind and helpful to other kids in class that may be struggling

Overall I think my kids are gaining a lot of empathy for others and appreciation for how we have parented them so far.

This is fantastic. Thank you!!!!!

I’m the PP. Also adding you really need to supplement at home too. Academics in public school are subpar. It is what it is. My child’s “advanced” ELA read two books (that she already read several yrs ago in elementary) the entire year and wrote a one, maybe two 3-paragraph essays. They are 100 percent focused on 1) behavior control and safety 2) getting kids that are far behind to catch up. They are not successful with either though.

I’d focus efforts and math and writing if you have to narrow it down for home study work.

Do you have evidence to support your assertion that “academics in public school are subpar”?

Nationally:

26% of 8th graders test proficient in math, per grade level standards

31% of 8th graders test proficient in reading

You can google this to verify. Proficiency varies by district, but the common denominator of the high achieving public school kids is what is happening at home.

link???

lol. National data is irrelevant inside the beltway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It entirely depends on the district/school. My kids did private from K and switched to public in middle school. Here are my takeaways:

-Have them do band. It’s fun and takes up a spot to an otherwise undesirable elective would fill.

-remind them to not engage in drama they may see.

-Don’t watch/run toward the fights.
Avoid the kids that are not doing the right things. Mind their own business (unless it is a safety issue, in which case discreetly notify an adult)

-avoid the bathrooms unless it is an emergency

-pack your lunch. Bad food plus long lines.

-be kind and helpful to other kids in class that may be struggling

Overall I think my kids are gaining a lot of empathy for others and appreciation for how we have parented them so far.

This is fantastic. Thank you!!!!!

I’m the PP. Also adding you really need to supplement at home too. Academics in public school are subpar. It is what it is. My child’s “advanced” ELA read two books (that she already read several yrs ago in elementary) the entire year and wrote a one, maybe two 3-paragraph essays. They are 100 percent focused on 1) behavior control and safety 2) getting kids that are far behind to catch up. They are not successful with either though.

I’d focus efforts and math and writing if you have to narrow it down for home study work.

Do you have evidence to support your assertion that “academics in public school are subpar”?

Nationally:

26% of 8th graders test proficient in math, per grade level standards

31% of 8th graders test proficient in reading

You can google this to verify. Proficiency varies by district, but the common denominator of the high achieving public school kids is what is happening at home.

This is DCUM…I doubt the poster is going to a school that has these scores.

Certainly there are high performing MS that feed into Whitman or Churchill or Langley, no?

But the schools are higher performing because of the PARENTS, not what they are doing at school. Public school curriculum is standard throughout the state

Not sure what you mean by standard. When you have a strong cohort the school is able to offer more advanced classes and, in high school, more AP classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

What public school system is this? Are you from DMV?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It entirely depends on the district/school. My kids did private from K and switched to public in middle school. Here are my takeaways:

-Have them do band. It’s fun and takes up a spot to an otherwise undesirable elective would fill.

-remind them to not engage in drama they may see.

-Don’t watch/run toward the fights.
Avoid the kids that are not doing the right things. Mind their own business (unless it is a safety issue, in which case discreetly notify an adult)

-avoid the bathrooms unless it is an emergency

-pack your lunch. Bad food plus long lines.

-be kind and helpful to other kids in class that may be struggling

Overall I think my kids are gaining a lot of empathy for others and appreciation for how we have parented them so far.

This is fantastic. Thank you!!!!!

I’m the PP. Also adding you really need to supplement at home too. Academics in public school are subpar. It is what it is. My child’s “advanced” ELA read two books (that she already read several yrs ago in elementary) the entire year and wrote a one, maybe two 3-paragraph essays. They are 100 percent focused on 1) behavior control and safety 2) getting kids that are far behind to catch up. They are not successful with either though.

I’d focus efforts and math and writing if you have to narrow it down for home study work.

Do you have evidence to support your assertion that “academics in public school are subpar”?

Nationally:

26% of 8th graders test proficient in math, per grade level standards

31% of 8th graders test proficient in reading

You can google this to verify. Proficiency varies by district, but the common denominator of the high achieving public school kids is what is happening at home.

link???

lol. National data is irrelevant inside the beltway

Not everyone on dcum is inside the beltway. Lots of schools in MCPS and FCPS which are failing severely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely never send a private school kid to public middle school. Wait until high school

These are bathrooms at Sherwood HS. From what I understand this is also happening at W schools.

yikes. RM locks the doors; they don't have a panel nailed into the door frame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It entirely depends on the district/school. My kids did private from K and switched to public in middle school. Here are my takeaways:

-Have them do band. It’s fun and takes up a spot to an otherwise undesirable elective would fill.

-remind them to not engage in drama they may see.

-Don’t watch/run toward the fights.
Avoid the kids that are not doing the right things. Mind their own business (unless it is a safety issue, in which case discreetly notify an adult)

-avoid the bathrooms unless it is an emergency

-pack your lunch. Bad food plus long lines.

-be kind and helpful to other kids in class that may be struggling

Overall I think my kids are gaining a lot of empathy for others and appreciation for how we have parented them so far.

This is fantastic. Thank you!!!!!

I’m the PP. Also adding you really need to supplement at home too. Academics in public school are subpar. It is what it is. My child’s “advanced” ELA read two books (that she already read several yrs ago in elementary) the entire year and wrote a one, maybe two 3-paragraph essays. They are 100 percent focused on 1) behavior control and safety 2) getting kids that are far behind to catch up. They are not successful with either though.

I’d focus efforts and math and writing if you have to narrow it down for home study work.

Do you have evidence to support your assertion that “academics in public school are subpar”?

Nationally:

26% of 8th graders test proficient in math, per grade level standards

31% of 8th graders test proficient in reading

You can google this to verify. Proficiency varies by district, but the common denominator of the high achieving public school kids is what is happening at home.

This is DCUM…I doubt the poster is going to a school that has these scores.

Certainly there are high performing MS that feed into Whitman or Churchill or Langley, no?

But the schools are higher performing because of the PARENTS, not what they are doing at school. Public school curriculum is standard throughout the state

Not sure what you mean by standard. When you have a strong cohort the school is able to offer more advanced classes and, in high school, more AP classes.

A lot of privates around here have dropped AP classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only comment is my son went from a very small private school to public in 8th grade (this year). I think he thought he died and went to heaven. In hindsight i now know the social opportunities for my son was way way way too small for his big personality and large social needs.

he has struggled academically in public. it’s not that he lacks the skills but that i now realize that his private school really babied him. In public the teachers don’t give a shit if you don’t study for a test or don’t turn something in, you get the F. they don’t care to update the online materials. if my son doesn’t write it down and forget to do something that’s on him. Theses much more personal accountability in my sons public than private. in his private they just made sure nobody slipped though the cracks.

oh and he was also thrilled to death that he no longer was forced to play an instrument and I gotta say i’m thrilled too!

but in a nutshell my son took to a big public school like a duck to water and very quickly made a ton of friends. He also already knew some kids because he always played local rec sports so it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone. He came in knowing about 5 kids and that’s all it took. I will say though the girls have been VERY agressive. that really took me back.

This is so inaccurate...in fact it is exactly the opposite. Much more accountability in private school. Public schools give 50% for kids who do no work at all and always give credit despite work being late. Public schools have severe grade inflation.

well that hasn’t been my kids experience. he’s earned a few Fs. That NEVER happened in private school. a the private school was on his butt at all times. I don’t have to do jack shit. It’s been a learning curve for me in public school because now i have to be on his butt. learned that after a very rough Q1.

Both can be true. A public school may allow makeups, but if you don’t do the make up then you will get an F. The teacher is less likely to proactively engage a parent during the term so an F can easily get printed on the report card.

A private school is likely to intervene earlier and more forcefully if a kid has bad grades. The teacher will reach out to parents at an earlier stage to turn things around.

[Anonymous]

MCPS has changed the 50% policy. Kids can earn a 0 (ask me how I know). They do allow retakes for grades < x% but only like 2x per semester or something like that.

I do agree there is grade inflation in public schools, but I also agree that there is a lot more hand holding in private schools. I mean.. that's what you are also paying for.