Can’t face friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s up with people not reading before chiming in? OP already made decision to give up friendship rather than get involved. Thread’s over, folks.

If the friendship is ending anyway why not tell the wife? At least give her the info. so she’s not just ghosted. I feel so bad for this woman. She’s being lied to by her DH and now her good friends are ditching her with no explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this guy’s hook up married too.

Send the note to HER husband. Let the fallout start there.

This. She is MUCH more likely to burn than he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Responding as the wife cheated upon, apparently for years. I would have wanted to know sooner and would have appreciated being told. My life has changed dramatically and we have kids. But I truly regret that I did not know earlier, I did not have the full information and agency to make important decisions that impacted my life, career, and health. Please don't participate in making a fool of another woman and keeping another woman in the dark if you can help it.

I am curious about all the people who say don't say anything. Genuinely curious if you are saying this as a betrayed spouse or not.

I am a betrayed spouse and understand where you are coming from, but if I understand this situation correctly, the OP's husband does not agree with telling the wife directly. I don't think it's fair to expect the OP to create conflict in her own marriage over this. With that in mind, I think having the OP's husband tell the friend that they both know and they want him to come clean is the best option in a situation with no good options.

Thank you. I decline to create conflict in my own marriage over this couple. The best I can do is not be fake friends with either.

WTF? You are not creating conflict in your marriage, your DH and his friend are. I would never defer to my husband if he was asking me to do something I considered unethical in order to keep the peace in my marriage. I could never have any peace with myself if I participated in gaslighting another woman. Also, I would never trust my husband again if he insisted I keep such a gross secret - just shows he has no ethics.

Your husband needs to grow up - not threaten the safety of your marriage over this.

Just to be clear, if you found out that your best friend was having an affair, you would, without hesitation, tell her spouse? Knowing that it would end your friendship?