But everyone should have the experience of basing their future plans on getting into a school that costs $90k a year and rejects 96% of applicants. Or something. |
People seem to be conflating letting their fill out their applications alone with applying to non selective schools, which are two different things. |
Why are you using all caps if you are chill? You actually seem very uptight! |
I did both, so pardon my conflation. |
The thread is about approaching college applications in a more relaxed manner. For some, that may mean having the kid take the lead on applications. For others, it means picking likely schools. For our family, it’s both. If I need to do her applications for her, is she really ready for this next step? If she doesn’t want to go to Yale or Brown, why should she apply? |
MA’AM THIS IS A WENDYS |
I mean, parent the kid you have, My senior has very specific and high goals, and appreciates my input on all of the essays and short answers involved. It is a little stressful because of all of the work, but I’m going to support my child as needed. |
99% of the kids out there are just picking a couple of affordable schools with above-50% admit rates that they would be happy at. Maybe add a reach school or two. “Easier admit school” and “do it themselves” are related. Any reasonable 17 year old can figure out how to do the Common App for George Mason because it’s just basic grades, maybe SAT scores if they want, a teacher rec, and the common essay. Most UMC families in NOVA can afford it, dorms are optional and you can always commute to save money. It’s the kid looking at Brown who has the problem and needs help from an adult. Should they TO or superscore? What’s the right number of extracurriculars? What’s more impressive looking, Eagle Scout or a job? Should they start a nonprofit? Do they have a hook? Can they create a hook? Are they pointy enough? Is their rigor enough, can the counselor check off “most rigor”? Are 10 APs enough? That’s not even getting into financing this $350k project. |
Right, many of you out there who think you are the best parents in the world, when in reality, you were lucky enough not to have children with ADHD or a learning disability, for starters. The ableism on DCUM will never cease to amaze me. I hope at least you are spending some time effectively parenting and teaching your children the importance of sympathy. |
One of the best posts I have read on this DCUM in years. |
As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.
Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired. |
that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos. |
Everyone has their cross to bear. Once again, THIS THREAD IS NOT FOR YOU |
If your kid can’t figure that all out on their own, maybe Brown isn’t for them. That’s the point. |
Out of how many though? No one disputes there are occasional over-the-top helicopter parents or cultural differences in how much a parents are involved in their kids' adult lives including their careers (e.g., in my DH's home country parents negotiate their adult children's first jobs), but people act like because there are a couple of cases this is the norm. |