Chill applications thread

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...


Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!


What fun would that be?

I can have a lot of fun with the $25K per year my kid got in merit aid for not being desperate to attend the reachiest reach that ever reached.


But everyone should have the experience of basing their future plans on getting into a school that costs $90k a year and rejects 96% of applicants.

Or something.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...


Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!


What fun would that be?

I can have a lot of fun with the $25K per year my kid got in merit aid for not being desperate to attend the reachiest reach that ever reached.


But everyone should have the experience of basing their future plans on getting into a school that costs $90k a year and rejects 96% of applicants.

Or something.



People seem to be conflating letting their fill out their applications alone with applying to non selective schools, which are two different things.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...


Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!


What fun would that be?


Your "fun" seems to be feeling chill and superior over others. There is no point to this thread other than to post self-congratulatory anecdotes about how relaxed, cool you and your kids are and how well you are doing.

And then you are surprised and affronted when others read your post and find it obnoxious and privileged? Whoops, sorry. Getting upset and rattled when others call you out is decidedly not "chill."


Man, for a bunch of smart educated parents many of you sure are acting stupid.

This thread is for chill people. Not wound up thread monitors. If you don’t have a chill story to share why post at all?


People who have to post about how chill they are typically aren’t actually chill.

Again, this thread is so premature, like celebrating a victory after the first quarter.


You’ve internalized the COLLEGE ADMISSIONS IS RUTHLESSLY COMPETITIVE mindset so much you come to a thread where people are posing their kids are applying to schools that take 80% of applicants and are test blind and are saying it’s a premature celebration, SOMETHING WILL DEFINITELY GO WRONG BECAUSE NOBODY EVER GETS IN ANYWHERE.

My brother, if your college list is Radford, CNU, and George Mason - and you have a B+ average or better and $100k in the 529 then it’s all set, go ahead and start picking out dorm decor.


Why are you using all caps if you are chill? You actually seem very uptight!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...


Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!


What fun would that be?

I can have a lot of fun with the $25K per year my kid got in merit aid for not being desperate to attend the reachiest reach that ever reached.


But everyone should have the experience of basing their future plans on getting into a school that costs $90k a year and rejects 96% of applicants.

Or something.



People seem to be conflating letting their fill out their applications alone with applying to non selective schools, which are two different things.

I did both, so pardon my conflation.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...


Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!


What fun would that be?

I can have a lot of fun with the $25K per year my kid got in merit aid for not being desperate to attend the reachiest reach that ever reached.


But everyone should have the experience of basing their future plans on getting into a school that costs $90k a year and rejects 96% of applicants.

Or something.



People seem to be conflating letting their fill out their applications alone with applying to non selective schools, which are two different things.


The thread is about approaching college applications in a more relaxed manner. For some, that may mean having the kid take the lead on applications. For others, it means picking likely schools. For our family, it’s both.

If I need to do her applications for her, is she really ready for this next step? If she doesn’t want to go to Yale or Brown, why should she apply?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...


Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!


What fun would that be?


Your "fun" seems to be feeling chill and superior over others. There is no point to this thread other than to post self-congratulatory anecdotes about how relaxed, cool you and your kids are and how well you are doing.

And then you are surprised and affronted when others read your post and find it obnoxious and privileged? Whoops, sorry. Getting upset and rattled when others call you out is decidedly not "chill."


Man, for a bunch of smart educated parents many of you sure are acting stupid.

This thread is for chill people. Not wound up thread monitors. If you don’t have a chill story to share why post at all?


People who have to post about how chill they are typically aren’t actually chill.

Again, this thread is so premature, like celebrating a victory after the first quarter.


You’ve internalized the COLLEGE ADMISSIONS IS RUTHLESSLY COMPETITIVE mindset so much you come to a thread where people are posing their kids are applying to schools that take 80% of applicants and are test blind and are saying it’s a premature celebration, SOMETHING WILL DEFINITELY GO WRONG BECAUSE NOBODY EVER GETS IN ANYWHERE.

My brother, if your college list is Radford, CNU, and George Mason - and you have a B+ average or better and $100k in the 529 then it’s all set, go ahead and start picking out dorm decor.


Why are you using all caps if you are chill? You actually seem very uptight!


MA’AM THIS IS A WENDYS
Anonymous
I mean, parent the kid you have, My senior has very specific and high goals, and appreciates my input on all of the essays and short answers involved. It is a little stressful because of all of the work, but I’m going to support my child as needed.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...


Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!


What fun would that be?

I can have a lot of fun with the $25K per year my kid got in merit aid for not being desperate to attend the reachiest reach that ever reached.


But everyone should have the experience of basing their future plans on getting into a school that costs $90k a year and rejects 96% of applicants.

Or something.



People seem to be conflating letting their fill out their applications alone with applying to non selective schools, which are two different things.


The thread is about approaching college applications in a more relaxed manner. For some, that may mean having the kid take the lead on applications. For others, it means picking likely schools. For our family, it’s both.

If I need to do her applications for her, is she really ready for this next step? If she doesn’t want to go to Yale or Brown, why should she apply?



99% of the kids out there are just picking a couple of affordable schools with above-50% admit rates that they would be happy at. Maybe add a reach school or two.

“Easier admit school” and “do it themselves” are related.

Any reasonable 17 year old can figure out how to do the Common App for George Mason because it’s just basic grades, maybe SAT scores if they want, a teacher rec, and the common essay.

Most UMC families in NOVA can afford it, dorms are optional and you can always commute to save money.

It’s the kid looking at Brown who has the problem and needs help from an adult.

Should they TO or superscore? What’s the right number of extracurriculars? What’s more impressive looking, Eagle Scout or a job? Should they start a nonprofit? Do they have a hook? Can they create a hook? Are they pointy enough? Is their rigor enough, can the counselor check off “most rigor”? Are 10 APs enough?

That’s not even getting into financing this $350k project.






Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...


Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!


What fun would that be?


There is no point to this thread other than to post self-congratulatory anecdotes about how relaxed, cool you and your kids are and how well you are doing.


This thread is also a way to reassure parents that applying to college doesn't have to be a source of nonstop conflict and anxiety. There are a ton of posts elsewhere about parents battling their kids over applications, and some of them probably enjoy complaining about it. Years ago, one parent posted about filling out her daughter's applications.

For a lot of us, there's another way, and it minimizes friction while maximizing natural consequences.


This is how I read this thread, too. I find it very reassuring.

Now the threads about top SAT scores, 4.8 GPAs, and 12 APs? Or the threads about how it’s Ivy or bust? Those threads fill me with dread and anxiety. They make me feel that a “mere” state school means that I have failed as a parent.

The relaxed PPs on this thread are my type of people. It’s refreshing to see that not everything has to be hyper-competitive and anxiety-inducing. Thank you, OP.


You are welcome! I knew there were many of us out there, so I figured starting a thread like this could bring us all together. People like us DO exist!! 😂


Right, many of you out there who think you are the best parents in the world, when in reality, you were lucky enough not to have children with ADHD or a learning disability, for starters. The ableism on DCUM will never cease to amaze me. I hope at least you are spending some time effectively parenting and teaching your children the importance of sympathy.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...


Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!


What fun would that be?


There is no point to this thread other than to post self-congratulatory anecdotes about how relaxed, cool you and your kids are and how well you are doing.


This thread is also a way to reassure parents that applying to college doesn't have to be a source of nonstop conflict and anxiety. There are a ton of posts elsewhere about parents battling their kids over applications, and some of them probably enjoy complaining about it. Years ago, one parent posted about filling out her daughter's applications.

For a lot of us, there's another way, and it minimizes friction while maximizing natural consequences.


This is how I read this thread, too. I find it very reassuring.

Now the threads about top SAT scores, 4.8 GPAs, and 12 APs? Or the threads about how it’s Ivy or bust? Those threads fill me with dread and anxiety. They make me feel that a “mere” state school means that I have failed as a parent.

The relaxed PPs on this thread are my type of people. It’s refreshing to see that not everything has to be hyper-competitive and anxiety-inducing. Thank you, OP.


You are welcome! I knew there were many of us out there, so I figured starting a thread like this could bring us all together. People like us DO exist!! 😂


Right, many of you out there who think you are the best parents in the world, when in reality, you were lucky enough not to have children with ADHD or a learning disability, for starters. The ableism on DCUM will never cease to amaze me. I hope at least you are spending some time effectively parenting and teaching your children the importance of sympathy.


One of the best posts I have read on this DCUM in years.
Anonymous
As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.


that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...


Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!


What fun would that be?


There is no point to this thread other than to post self-congratulatory anecdotes about how relaxed, cool you and your kids are and how well you are doing.


This thread is also a way to reassure parents that applying to college doesn't have to be a source of nonstop conflict and anxiety. There are a ton of posts elsewhere about parents battling their kids over applications, and some of them probably enjoy complaining about it. Years ago, one parent posted about filling out her daughter's applications.

For a lot of us, there's another way, and it minimizes friction while maximizing natural consequences.


This is how I read this thread, too. I find it very reassuring.

Now the threads about top SAT scores, 4.8 GPAs, and 12 APs? Or the threads about how it’s Ivy or bust? Those threads fill me with dread and anxiety. They make me feel that a “mere” state school means that I have failed as a parent.

The relaxed PPs on this thread are my type of people. It’s refreshing to see that not everything has to be hyper-competitive and anxiety-inducing. Thank you, OP.


You are welcome! I knew there were many of us out there, so I figured starting a thread like this could bring us all together. People like us DO exist!! 😂


Right, many of you out there who think you are the best parents in the world, when in reality, you were lucky enough not to have children with ADHD or a learning disability, for starters. The ableism on DCUM will never cease to amaze me. I hope at least you are spending some time effectively parenting and teaching your children the importance of sympathy.


Everyone has their cross to bear. Once again, THIS THREAD IS NOT FOR YOU
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...


Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!


What fun would that be?

I can have a lot of fun with the $25K per year my kid got in merit aid for not being desperate to attend the reachiest reach that ever reached.


But everyone should have the experience of basing their future plans on getting into a school that costs $90k a year and rejects 96% of applicants.

Or something.



People seem to be conflating letting their fill out their applications alone with applying to non selective schools, which are two different things.


The thread is about approaching college applications in a more relaxed manner. For some, that may mean having the kid take the lead on applications. For others, it means picking likely schools. For our family, it’s both.

If I need to do her applications for her, is she really ready for this next step? If she doesn’t want to go to Yale or Brown, why should she apply?



99% of the kids out there are just picking a couple of affordable schools with above-50% admit rates that they would be happy at. Maybe add a reach school or two.

“Easier admit school” and “do it themselves” are related.

Any reasonable 17 year old can figure out how to do the Common App for George Mason because it’s just basic grades, maybe SAT scores if they want, a teacher rec, and the common essay.

Most UMC families in NOVA can afford it, dorms are optional and you can always commute to save money.

It’s the kid looking at Brown who has the problem and needs help from an adult.

Should they TO or superscore? What’s the right number of extracurriculars? What’s more impressive looking, Eagle Scout or a job? Should they start a nonprofit? Do they have a hook? Can they create a hook? Are they pointy enough? Is their rigor enough, can the counselor check off “most rigor”? Are 10 APs enough?

That’s not even getting into financing this $350k project.








If your kid can’t figure that all out on their own, maybe Brown isn’t for them. That’s the point.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.


Out of how many though? No one disputes there are occasional over-the-top helicopter parents or cultural differences in how much a parents are involved in their kids' adult lives including their careers (e.g., in my DH's home country parents negotiate their adult children's first jobs), but people act like because there are a couple of cases this is the norm.
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