Chill applications thread

[Anonymous]

I welcome anyone who has let their kids fill out their own applications, have NOT hired a counsellor or coach, and are letting this be their kids journey, not theirs.

Please come on in and share your stories!

Here’s mine - DD refused to let us look at her essays and supplementals - not even just to proofread. Wasn’t about to fight with her on that. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and I’m sure she will end up exactly where she belongs!

[Anonymous]

Kid asked me to proof common app for typos and was happy to discuss process along the way (we visited schools together so he seemed interested in my take). This all felt pretty normal to me and sort of representative of our relationship - we are pretty close and for us would have felt weird to not discuss or refuse support on what ended up being a move to a different state (but I know every relationship is different).

College process worked out and is loving his choice!

[Anonymous]

I had a college friend review DD's essay and I haven't read it. They worked on it together via email a few times (Friend does this as a side gig.).

DD asked for a second set of eyes to review application / proof for typos before she hit submit to a bunch of schools recently.

DD has to submit a portfolio as part of her app, so she's not done yet. That's stressing me out more than her but I try to not ask.

[Anonymous]

My kids refused to pick a "reach." Was it fear of rejection? High self-awareness? Who knows? They picked modest lists and DH and I said "go for it."

[Anonymous]

I helped my now-college junior with the initial common app, mainly answering questions he didn't know (his father's colleges and degrees, etc.) but didn't even see his essays, didn't prep him for the handful of interviews he did, didn't remind him of deadlines.

And this was not an organized, proactive kid. He just wanted very minimal hand-holding and a sense of accomplishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I helped my now-college junior with the initial common app, mainly answering questions he didn't know (his father's colleges and degrees, etc.) but didn't even see his essays, didn't prep him for the handful of interviews he did, didn't remind him of deadlines.

And this was not an organized, proactive kid. He just wanted very minimal hand-holding and a sense of accomplishment.

This is op - I guess I helped then. I had to let my daughter know what our degrees were! Didn’t even think of that…😂

I also think my daughter wants a sense of accomplishment out of this. I’m running with it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids refused to pick a "reach." Was it fear of rejection? High self-awareness? Who knows? They picked modest lists and DH and I said "go for it."

Your kids sound very grounded!

[Anonymous]

No involvement whatsoever in filling out applications or looking at essays. Just conversations about which schools to target. So far this approach has worked out fine. First kid accepted ED to a great school. Sibling is taking a similar approach …..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids refused to pick a "reach." Was it fear of rejection? High self-awareness? Who knows? They picked modest lists and DH and I said "go for it."

My kid refused this also. Applied to four schools, got merit aid everywhere she applied, and is a sophomore very happy with her choice. We did proofread her essay, though.

[Anonymous]

OK i'm crashing your thread- sorry. I just find your tone really self-satisfied and know-it-all.
I know kids last year who crashed and burned with your "mellow out" strategy. NOt all family can afford to be "chill." Not all kids have their act together by senior year. Some kids have ADHD or learning differences and need support through the process. This process can be overwhelming for neurotypical kids as well. The applications are complex and it's the first time kids have done this. I am not advocating a hostile takeover of the process but being a helpful sounding board is reasonable. Also it's the biggest investment I'll make as an adult so, yeah, if looking over an essay for typo's helps my kid get merit aid- I'm down for that.

[Anonymous]

What’s the point of this thread?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think your tone is bad. I get it. This is a stressful time periods for some and you’re just trying to point out that it isn’t always like that for everyone. I welcome it.

I’m a typical type A mom who has my oldest kid as a senior this year, and I’m trying hard not to f up our currently good relationship by being to much of a know it all tiger mom. So far he’s hit every deadline and will wind up at a great school I’m sure. Just gotta chill, mentally. It’s a goood reminder, thanks!

[Anonymous]

We didn’t see our son’s essay. His HS teacher and guidance counselor had all that input. Truthfully it made me a little off not seeing it, like I wasn’t part of the process. I helped him with the Fafsa and we need have several college conversations and visited colleges. Hes in first semester college and very happy so far. And it’s not a college I would have seen him attending; sometimes as parents we end up being surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I welcome anyone who has let their kids fill out their own applications, have NOT hired a counsellor or coach, and are letting this be their kids journey, not theirs.

Please come on in and share your stories!

Here’s mine - DD refused to let us look at her essays and supplementals - not even just to proofread. Wasn’t about to fight with her on that. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and I’m sure she will end up exactly where she belongs!

+1

Same. DDs are very happy where they ended up. The rejections were a surprise, and the acceptances were a surprise. They were within range, but we were/are very well aware of the crapshoot that is admissions, for qualified candidates. We paid for a college acceptance service, but they flat out refused to go, and we just really had to trust their process, because (as we told DDs) - their school is where they are spending the next four years, not DH nor I.

I honestly do not understand parents who pull the reigns so tight, or how it could possibly be good for anyone.

[Anonymous]

Yeah my kid didn’t know I had a graduate degree, or years we graduated stuff like that that was required on common app.