Chill applications thread

[Anonymous]

Lazy parents will say I let my kids roam free, whatever happens it's all good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:DCUM where good ideas go to get mocked mercilessly and die...

Only at the hands of those wound ridiculously tight. This thread was clearly not for them. Let the rest of us have our fun!

What fun would that be?

I can have a lot of fun with the $25K per year my kid got in merit aid for not being desperate to attend the reachiest reach that ever reached.

But everyone should have the experience of basing their future plans on getting into a school that costs $90k a year and rejects 96% of applicants.

Or something.

People seem to be conflating letting their fill out their applications alone with applying to non selective schools, which are two different things.

The thread is about approaching college applications in a more relaxed manner. For some, that may mean having the kid take the lead on applications. For others, it means picking likely schools. For our family, it’s both.

If I need to do her applications for her, is she really ready for this next step? If she doesn’t want to go to Yale or Brown, why should she apply?

99% of the kids out there are just picking a couple of affordable schools with above-50% admit rates that they would be happy at. Maybe add a reach school or two.

“Easier admit school” and “do it themselves” are related.

Any reasonable 17 year old can figure out how to do the Common App for George Mason because it’s just basic grades, maybe SAT scores if they want, a teacher rec, and the common essay.

Most UMC families in NOVA can afford it, dorms are optional and you can always commute to save money.

It’s the kid looking at Brown who has the problem and needs help from an adult.

Should they TO or superscore? What’s the right number of extracurriculars? What’s more impressive looking, Eagle Scout or a job? Should they start a nonprofit? Do they have a hook? Can they create a hook? Are they pointy enough? Is their rigor enough, can the counselor check off “most rigor”? Are 10 APs enough?

That’s not even getting into financing this $350k project.

If your kid can’t figure that all out on their own, maybe Brown isn’t for them. That’s the point.

Seems like a heavy lift for any high school kid to raise 1/3 of a million dollars and figure out a completely opaque black box admission process with a 4% success rate.

When we the parents were in high school it’s was just “be a really good student” that got you in, you also didn’t also need to be your own unpaid college counselor and research analyst as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lazy parents will say I let my kids roam free, whatever happens it's all good.

Of course if they don’t hover they’re lazy. That must be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lazy parents will say I let my kids roam free, whatever happens it's all good.

Of course, we have to 'exempt' and make excuses for obsessive and abusive parents pushing various sports. For some reason, that is perfectly fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

[Anonymous]

Hahahaha, "Chill applications thread."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

Thank you for concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

It's "to" "a lot different to" not "a lot different than" which is grammatically a fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lazy parents will say I let my kids roam free, whatever happens it's all good.

Did you give any thought to reading at least the original post before commenting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

Don’t worry. We’ll live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hahahaha, "Chill applications thread."

OP here. It’s still a chill applications thread - nothing has changed that for most of us. The thing that makes me not chill is the helicopters that come in and insist we’re wrong. I am decidedly NOT chill about that. Always takes some DCUM asshat to come in and stir up sh¡t.

If you’re not chill, you don’t need to convince us we’re doing it wrong. Not gonna happen. Take it to the zillion “I’m so stressed” or “I have 4,456,633 reasons why my kid needs help” threads. This content is not for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

Don’t worry. We’ll live.

DP: Why are you posting on a parents' college forum then? Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

Don’t worry. We’ll live.

DP: Why are you posting on a parents' college forum then? Really?

Because I’m a parent to a college bound senior? If that’s not the answer you’re looking for I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone said, you parent to the child you have. If the child has a learning disability or other challenge you provide more support and structure. However, many parents do not face that problem and want to over engineer the lives of their kids. Instead of the kid figuring things out, the parent does it for them or provides a resource.

Until recently, my wife used to be head of hiring in the tech space. Many of the spots were for recent graduates. Several times a year, she would receive an email or call from a parent wanting to understand why their child was not hired.

that sounds a lot different than, say, reading your kids essay for typos.

+1 there is a spectrum of support. Yes, you can go overboard. But, I don't understand parents who say they had no involvement at all. You didn't even talk with them about the process, what they were looking for, what they value? You don't want to know what they are writing about? Writing that uniquely pushes them to think about important experiences and aspirations? What a missed opportunity for your relationship with them.

Don’t worry. We’ll live.

DP: Why are you posting on a parents' college forum then? Really?

Because I’m a parent to a college bound senior? If that’s not the answer you’re looking for I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.

Well if you are 100% hands-off on their applications, it seems like unnecessary energy to be reading and writing all of this.

[Anonymous]

Still confused, is this a thread for parents who have kids applying schools that are not at all selective so there is no way help is needed, or parents of kids applying to selective schools who aren’t providing help?

Because yes, if kids are applying to schools with 70 percent plus acceptance rates, I think majority of us would agree they need no help and stakes are low. That isn’t some miracle of chill parenting.