Birthday party etiquette and siblings

[Anonymous]

So the party room fits 24 people and you are inviting the whole class and insisting a parent has to attend too? Sounds miserable. Just make it a drop off party and have a couple good friends' parents/your family that are willing to stay on hand to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So the party room fits 24 people and you are inviting the whole class and insisting a parent has to attend too? Sounds miserable. Just make it a drop off party and have a couple good friends' parents/your family that are willing to stay on hand to help.

The OP’s kid is invited to a drop off party. She is the one who is trying to go with a toddler to a public place. I think that is fine as long as they don’t try to participate in the party.

These places are really annoying about food and the room size is the room size.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the party room fits 24 people and you are inviting the whole class and insisting a parent has to attend too? Sounds miserable. Just make it a drop off party and have a couple good friends' parents/your family that are willing to stay on hand to help.

The OP’s kid is invited to a drop off party. She is the one who is trying to go with a toddler to a public place. I think that is fine as long as they don’t try to participate in the party.

These places are really annoying about food and the room size is the room size.

They are also annoying from a liability perspective. The drop off parent waives liability. Who exactly is responsible for the children being dropped off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the party room fits 24 people and you are inviting the whole class and insisting a parent has to attend too? Sounds miserable. Just make it a drop off party and have a couple good friends' parents/your family that are willing to stay on hand to help.

The OP’s kid is invited to a drop off party. She is the one who is trying to go with a toddler to a public place. I think that is fine as long as they don’t try to participate in the party.

These places are really annoying about food and the room size is the room size.

They are also annoying from a liability perspective. The drop off parent waives liability. Who exactly is responsible for the children being dropped off?

How do you watcj your kid when you’re even there? You can’t see them most of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the party room fits 24 people and you are inviting the whole class and insisting a parent has to attend too? Sounds miserable. Just make it a drop off party and have a couple good friends' parents/your family that are willing to stay on hand to help.

The OP’s kid is invited to a drop off party. She is the one who is trying to go with a toddler to a public place. I think that is fine as long as they don’t try to participate in the party.

These places are really annoying about food and the room size is the room size.

They are also annoying from a liability perspective. The drop off parent waives liability. Who exactly is responsible for the children being dropped off?

How do you watcj your kid when you’re even there? You can’t see them most of the time.

You’re just confused. These are super parents. They can watch their toddler away from the party, and still keep their eye and control of their older child in the party, without being involved with the party, or their presence known at all. It’s like they’re ninjas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a Middle Eastern person (and, for the record, the parent of an only child), I am physically incapable of not being a generous host and overdoing it with the food. My child has a diverse circle of friends and classmates — many have parents that work part of the weekend, are raised by single parents, have parents with limited English, live in multi-generation households, etc. — and it’s important to me to make it as comfortable as possible for all to attend and feel welcomed.

With that little rant over, I think it’s totally fine for OP to do as she proposed.

Sure you could order 25 pizzas but most people aren't really dying to eat indoor play place pizza so you can't really "over do it" when you're limited to what you can actually serve. No outside food is permitted. That said you try to get the approximate number of pizzas which is why you send out invites to ask who is coming. If having a party with everyone and their grandmother is important to you, don't do it at Sky Zone, because it's not equipped for that unless you're renting the entire venue out.

Where will all these extra people go? Party rooms are always capped because there is limited seating.

I’m struggling with my guest list because party room is 24 people max.

1) 24 kids, or 24 people total including kids and adults? If the former, you can go slightly over 24 on invite list but dont overdo it

2) include on the invite, “sorry we can’t accommodate siblings” or “the invitation is for one child plus one accompanying adult”

3) if someone rsvps for multiple kids, message them and say they can’t be accommodated

4). For the love of god, just buy an extra pizza. Mainly because the last thing you want is famished 6yos because you only accounted for one slice per kid. You might get one or two hitchhikers on the day of but if you take the first steps and follow up if needed you’re not going to end up with 10 extra surprise kids or anything.

I have seen party rooms for 24 people only. No extra seating. I have also seen party rooms where there are 24 seats for kids and then benches along walls for adults.

That’s an important distinction. If this is not a drop off party and you can accommodate 12 kids + 12 parents, I wouldn’t invite more than 15. And again you gotta be strict about extras.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a Middle Eastern person (and, for the record, the parent of an only child), I am physically incapable of not being a generous host and overdoing it with the food. My child has a diverse circle of friends and classmates — many have parents that work part of the weekend, are raised by single parents, have parents with limited English, live in multi-generation households, etc. — and it’s important to me to make it as comfortable as possible for all to attend and feel welcomed.

With that little rant over, I think it’s totally fine for OP to do as she proposed.

Sure you could order 25 pizzas but most people aren't really dying to eat indoor play place pizza so you can't really "over do it" when you're limited to what you can actually serve. No outside food is permitted. That said you try to get the approximate number of pizzas which is why you send out invites to ask who is coming. If having a party with everyone and their grandmother is important to you, don't do it at Sky Zone, because it's not equipped for that unless you're renting the entire venue out.

Where will all these extra people go? Party rooms are always capped because there is limited seating.

I’m struggling with my guest list because party room is 24 people max.

1) 24 kids, or 24 people total including kids and adults? If the former, you can go slightly over 24 on invite list but dont overdo it

2) include on the invite, “sorry we can’t accommodate siblings” or “the invitation is for one child plus one accompanying adult”

3) if someone rsvps for multiple kids, message them and say they can’t be accommodated

4). For the love of god, just buy an extra pizza. Mainly because the last thing you want is famished 6yos because you only accounted for one slice per kid. You might get one or two hitchhikers on the day of but if you take the first steps and follow up if needed you’re not going to end up with 10 extra surprise kids or anything.

I have seen party rooms for 24 people only. No extra seating. I have also seen party rooms where there are 24 seats for kids and then benches along walls for adults.

That’s an important distinction. If this is not a drop off party and you can accommodate 12 kids + 12 parents, I wouldn’t invite more than 15. And again you gotta be strict about extras.

The 24 headcount is usually just for kids who will be participating in the activity. Parents stand, they don't sit at the party table with the kids. It's nice if there is a bench or something else, but if they choose to stay and not drop off they will be standing. The venues don't count the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a Middle Eastern person (and, for the record, the parent of an only child), I am physically incapable of not being a generous host and overdoing it with the food. My child has a diverse circle of friends and classmates — many have parents that work part of the weekend, are raised by single parents, have parents with limited English, live in multi-generation households, etc. — and it’s important to me to make it as comfortable as possible for all to attend and feel welcomed.

With that little rant over, I think it’s totally fine for OP to do as she proposed.

As a South Asian person, we also overdo it with food and generosity while hosting. We too have a very diverse circle of friends and classmates representing many parts of the world. And most of them appreciate and recognize the efforts we put in as hosts. We also include everyone in our celebrations (siblings, parents, relatives, neighbors, friends, relatives, classmates)...but, I would not presume that many families that invite our child for birthday parties should be throwing a similar party as us. If they want to limit their guestlists to only a few children (age of child + 1) and if it is a drop off party and if they only serve cake and hot dgs and they have restrictions about the number of children etc, then as good guests we adhere to that.

The question here is not how someone else is hosting. The question here is how guests should behave and follow the etiquette of someone else's celebration. OP is an adult. She can figure it out without imposing in any way on the host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a Middle Eastern person (and, for the record, the parent of an only child), I am physically incapable of not being a generous host and overdoing it with the food. My child has a diverse circle of friends and classmates — many have parents that work part of the weekend, are raised by single parents, have parents with limited English, live in multi-generation households, etc. — and it’s important to me to make it as comfortable as possible for all to attend and feel welcomed.

With that little rant over, I think it’s totally fine for OP to do as she proposed.

As a South Asian person, we also overdo it with food and generosity while hosting. We too have a very diverse circle of friends and classmates representing many parts of the world. And most of them appreciate and recognize the efforts we put in as hosts. We also include everyone in our celebrations (siblings, parents, relatives, neighbors, friends, relatives, classmates)...but, I would not presume that many families that invite our child for birthday parties should be throwing a similar party as us. If they want to limit their guestlists to only a few children (age of child + 1) and if it is a drop off party and if they only serve cake and hot dgs and they have restrictions about the number of children etc, then as good guests we adhere to that.

The question here is not how someone else is hosting. The question here is how guests should behave and follow the etiquette of someone else's celebration. OP is an adult. She can figure it out without imposing in any way on the host.

I’m Asian American. When kids were little, we would have home parties and food was the party. I remember going to a few parties where parents did not serve food or didn’t even offer parents water and thought they were such horrible hosts. We still host parties with friends. These are different than kid birthdays. My oldest is now 13. My second child is 11. Starting at about 8 or 9, the parties were for the birthday child and his friends. Parents were no longer part of the birthday party and siblings definitely weren’t invited.

OP is at that awkward age between drop off and parents staying. I would not feel comfortable dropping my kid off at a large public age at age 5, 6, 7. I think bringing the sibling and not telling the host is fine.

[Anonymous]

This is fine OP. Bring the 2 yr old, pay for him, feed him, and do your own thing with him. IRL no one cares if you bring a sibling to a bounce place party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is fine OP. Bring the 2 yr old, pay for him, feed him, and do your own thing with him. IRL no one cares if you bring a sibling to a bounce place party.

You're saying two different things. Bringing the 2yo to the public place is not the same as bringing him to the party. People absolutely do care if you show up with an uninvited kid to the party. They're just not rude enough to say something to your face about your rudeness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is fine OP. Bring the 2 yr old, pay for him, feed him, and do your own thing with him. IRL no one cares if you bring a sibling to a bounce place party.

I wonder if OP is coming to my party. I have families RSVPing with 1-2 siblings and 2 adults. Lots of people trying to bring siblings. I actually don’t care about paying the extra $25 per kid even though it is kind of annoying. I don’t have space in my room and don’t have enough themed favors. I can order extra pizza and cake. I’m going to scramble for sibling favors and let parents know I can’t fit sibling in the party room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is fine OP. Bring the 2 yr old, pay for him, feed him, and do your own thing with him. IRL no one cares if you bring a sibling to a bounce place party.

You're saying two different things. Bringing the 2yo to the public place is not the same as bringing him to the party. People absolutely do care if you show up with an uninvited kid to the party. They're just not rude enough to say something to your face about your rudeness.

The “party” aspect is pretty much limited to 30 min of pizza and cake in the back room. Just don’t take the 2 yr old in there. Otherwise, it is play place open to the public, party or not, and the 2 yr old playing isn’t a problem as long as OP buys his entrance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the party room fits 24 people and you are inviting the whole class and insisting a parent has to attend too? Sounds miserable. Just make it a drop off party and have a couple good friends' parents/your family that are willing to stay on hand to help.

The OP’s kid is invited to a drop off party. She is the one who is trying to go with a toddler to a public place. I think that is fine as long as they don’t try to participate in the party.

These places are really annoying about food and the room size is the room size.

They are also annoying from a liability perspective. The drop off parent waives liability. Who exactly is responsible for the children being dropped off?

First off, I replied about DROP-OFF PARTIES. Drop-off parties at event spaces like Scramble are negligent. The worst are trampoline parks. What are you going to do as the parent when some 6-year-old breaks his leg? Do you even know all the kids you invited? Would they recognize you or do they how to find you? When the employee comes up to you and they are calling the ambulance to come get that kid do you have contact info for their parent? You exchanged numbers and have their name?

Those event spaces expect an adult to be responsible for each kid.

Drop off at a house is different due to decreased risky behaviors. A magician is less likely to break a kids leg vs a trampoline park. But you should still discuss with the parent dropping off and get their contact info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the party room fits 24 people and you are inviting the whole class and insisting a parent has to attend too? Sounds miserable. Just make it a drop off party and have a couple good friends' parents/your family that are willing to stay on hand to help.

The OP’s kid is invited to a drop off party. She is the one who is trying to go with a toddler to a public place. I think that is fine as long as they don’t try to participate in the party.

These places are really annoying about food and the room size is the room size.

They are also annoying from a liability perspective. The drop off parent waives liability. Who exactly is responsible for the children being dropped off?

First off, I replied about DROP-OFF PARTIES. Drop-off parties at event spaces like Scramble are negligent. The worst are trampoline parks. What are you going to do as the parent when some 6-year-old breaks his leg? Do you even know all the kids you invited? Would they recognize you or do they how to find you? When the employee comes up to you and they are calling the ambulance to come get that kid do you have contact info for their parent? You exchanged numbers and have their name?

Those event spaces expect an adult to be responsible for each kid.

Drop off at a house is different due to decreased risky behaviors. A magician is less likely to break a kids leg vs a trampoline park. But you should still discuss with the parent dropping off and get their contact info.

The waiver has the contact information. The parent would have filled out a waiver before a kid was allowed to participate.