Do all women only care about money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is she can’t immediately go back to work after delivering? If money is right now, imagine how tight it will be when you’re supporting a wife and a child! Agreeing to marry you is agreeing to be the breadwinner, agreeing to be poor, or agreeing to forgo children.

This. What if she gets put on bed rest? What if you have a preemie that's in the NICU for a while. What if any serious medical problem happens to either of you our your child? Because most families do experience something at some point. If you can't wrap your head around the need to earn more, that's going to be really off-putting. A woman is not "only caring about money" because she wants to avoid being totally poor whenever something serious comes up. Women like stability.

Why don't you earn more money so you don't have to worry about emergencies and whatnot?

I already do, but that's not the point. The point is the OP isn't making enough money for the true cost of the lifestyle he wants (if he wants kids with a wife), and he needs to open his eyes to that. Expensive things come up and being an adult means having realistic financial plans. His lack of realism is what's putting women off.

[Anonymous]

One thing I love (and hate) about NoVA is that few people make even a pretense about having faith.

I grew up in the Deep South, and knew many people who believed feeding the poor and healing the sick was more important than having a large house.

Go ahead and bag on the South, faith, and feeding those who need it. My church is a non-profit, and I am proud of their work even though those that help other do not make money doing so.

There are things more important than money.

Except in NoVa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing I love (and hate) about NoVA is that few people make even a pretense about having faith.

I grew up in the Deep South, and knew many people who believed feeding the poor and healing the sick was more important than having a large house.

Go ahead and bag on the South, faith, and feeding those who need it. My church is a non-profit, and I am proud of their work even though those that help other do not make money doing so.

There are things more important than money.

Except in NoVa.

Wrong thread, rando.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but my credit card bill is over $25,000 this month which is basically your entire post tax salary. So if you plan to have kids and not really struggle, you should find a new job.

I'd rather date a guy who makes 50K than a guy who feels the need to gloat that his credit card bill is bigger than somebody's post-tax salary. My guess is that you are a real disappointment in the bedroom.

I think the person with the big credit card bill is a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you think men work for? Money

That's true but doesn't go deep enough. First, you get the money, then you get... Listen to Tony Montana.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but my credit card bill is over $25,000 this month which is basically your entire post tax salary. So if you plan to have kids and not really struggle, you should find a new job.

I'd rather date a guy who makes 50K than a guy who feels the need to gloat that his credit card bill is bigger than somebody's post-tax salary. My guess is that you are a real disappointment in the bedroom.

I think the person with the big credit card bill is a woman.

That's how I read it

[Anonymous]

Wrong thread, rando.

You are stupid.

The point of the PP was that people here care less about helping people (like many non-profit groups do) than in other parts of the country.

However, you are not smart enough to see or understand it.

Please do not post again unless someone at work reads your post first.

[Anonymous]

Women marry the lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

It's hilarious that someone who makes $50k at 34 yo thinks the *only* reason women won't date him is money.

Is it possible that someone who makes $50k at 34 in DC has other dings against him that impact his dating life?

I guess he *could* look like a young Brad Pitt, be a scintillating conversationalist, have abs like a washboard, and be motivated, ambitions, caring, an excellent cook, comfortable both taking on household chores, and fixing a car, and be a dynamo in the bedroom. But do you really think that's the case?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wrong thread, rando.

You are stupid.

The point of the PP was that people here care less about helping people (like many non-profit groups do) than in other parts of the country.

However, you are not smart enough to see or understand it.

Please do not post again unless someone at work reads your post first.

the amount of taxes paid up here and north far exceeds any help or charity.

[Anonymous]

Have not read the thread and don’t, as I’ve been on DCUM long enough to know what’s happening. But wanted to offer some insight.

I am a woman’s in my 40s who married a guy who was a lower earner. I made more than him the first 7 years of our relationship, and was in a field with a much higher ceiling for income. I don’t regret marrying him, but when we had kids, I became more sympathetic to women who want high earning men, or who value men who are go getters and prove that they are motivated by income. My DH is not money motivated and it’s become an issue.

- Having kids weighs much more heavily on women in every way than men. It’s hard on our bodies and our mental health. Having just one kid imposes a heavy burden on a woman and working through it is not no big deal. I had a difficult pregnancy and had to miss weeks of work during the middle of my pregnancy due to illness and physical disability. Even once I got treatment and could work, I was house bound for my third trimester. Then I had PPD that plagued me for the first year after the baby was born. It is hard and scary to go through that as the higher earner in a two income couple. My DH was supportive but it just felt like so much was on me.

- Once you have kids, your partner’s low income and disinterest in earning more is not just about oh we can’t live in a nicer house or we can’t take a specific vacation. It’s about the kind of childcare you can afford. The food your kids eat. The schools they attend. The healthcare they receive. The activities they can participate in. Having a partner who doesn’t earn a lot and has little interest in earning more, with kids, puts the burden of providing for your kids on you.

- My husband talked a big game about being the primary parent but it didn’t materialize. There were always excuses. His job has rigid hours requirements, so he couldn’t commit to drop off/pick up. His job is further away, so he can’t be the on call parent. Then he put littjj K e effort into figuring out parenting things like food, sleep, childcare, etc., and then would say “well you know more about this so it makes sense for you to take the lead.” I tried delegation, I tried dropping the rope— my kids suffered and nothing changed.

I love my DH but within our family unit, he’s a slacker. I earn more, I do more for the kids and in our house, I am more proactive about investing and saving. It’s a lot on me. This is the life I’ve made for myself, though, and I make the most of it.

But if my daughter came to me and said “I met a great guy but he works for a nonprofit and makes 50k and doesn’t seem interested in making more,” I’d tell her that these are indications that he is impractical about money and may not understand what it costs to have a family, and to think hard about whether this is someone you want to make your financial partner for life.

I won’t be back, as I’m sure the incels will tell me I’m a shrew and some of the women will tell me I’m a doormat and others will tell me to divorce. But I’m just telling you how it is. It is hard to marry someone who doesn’t make much money and doesn’t seem interested in having more, and it’s extra hard if you are a woman who will bear the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thing I love (and hate) about NoVA is that few people make even a pretense about having faith.

I grew up in the Deep South, and knew many people who believed feeding the poor and healing the sick was more important than having a large house.

Go ahead and bag on the South, faith, and feeding those who need it. My church is a non-profit, and I am proud of their work even though those that help other do not make money doing so.

There are things more important than money.

Except in NoVa.

Yes, if only folks up here would emulate the charity of the Deep South towards all, er, uh, most of those who, um, look, yes look like they need it, then we too could achieve the outstanding social, educational, and wellness outcomes that the Deep South enjoys over virtually any state. For example,





Oh.

Oh, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a 34 year old man and I make 50k working for a non profit. It is challenging make ends meet and dating is tough. Women ghost me once they know about how much I earn. It is very demoralizing. Is there any hope for me?

Its not about money, its about financial security. Imho evolution taught women to seek men who can be good providers, good hunters, good earners, good savers. With rising equality in women's education, employment and earnings, they are just learning to become self sufficient and good providers. It'll take some time for tables to turn. Until then, your only chance is to find women with limited options due to not being as good looking as good earners want. If you are good looking or have a good personality, it shouldn't be that difficult in seas of available women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing I love (and hate) about NoVA is that few people make even a pretense about having faith.

I grew up in the Deep South, and knew many people who believed feeding the poor and healing the sick was more important than having a large house.

Go ahead and bag on the South, faith, and feeding those who need it. My church is a non-profit, and I am proud of their work even though those that help other do not make money doing so.

There are things more important than money.

Except in NoVa.

Yes, if only folks up here would emulate the charity of the Deep South towards all, er, uh, most of those who, um, look, yes look like they need it, then we too could achieve the outstanding social, educational, and wellness outcomes that the Deep South enjoys over virtually any state. For example,





Oh.

Oh, no.

Yeah I've lived in the deep south. Huge megachurches with well paid pastors and very little actual charity. Whereas my liberal church here in NoVA has a food oantry twice a week and sponsors a halfway house for those trying to escape homelessness.

I've seen way more soup kitchens and homeless programs up here. And of course we pay taxes that cover social welfare programs.

[Anonymous]

You too should focus on high earning women, instead of going for looks. You two are going to need it to have a house and raise kids.