“Shamed” for Thanksgiving contribution to school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who buys a lot of cream cheese and can never find enough, it is amazing you were able to find any in the stores as Thanksgiving approaches. Thank you for your donation, period.

Don't worry about the administrator collecting the items. She probably just knows that the recipients have preferences and that is not for generic items. If you have ever worked at a food bank/food pantry, you will notice taht some recipients will complain about receiving generic, very loudly. When I provided pro bono services on a case, my client complained that they were not being interviewed in a fancy legal office but instead, at the small conference room at legal services, and that we could not afford to provide legal assistance for every single one of their legal issues, but just the singular issue agreed to in the retainer.

It sounds ungrateful but it is just that if something is offered for free, some recipients are merely hopeful that they will get the royal treatment, that they perceive or imagine someone wealthy would receive - not an experience someone in the middle class could afford routinely. Proctor and Gamble and many consumer brands have done research on this and a lot of people aspire to purchase Tide or Coca-Cola, or Dawn. It may not be any better than generic, but it is the perception.

I recall there was an actual cream cheese shortage last year due to cyberattacks.

This is interesting about human behavior/free items and it makes sense to me. When I was just out of med school, I was in serious debt and working 80 hours a week, earning somewhere around $8 an hour in San Francisco. I always shopped at andronico’s and the fancy markets because it felt so depressing and defeatist to buy generic cream cheese at the local Giant. I had to hang on to something luxe even though I should have been saving the money. I also knew that I would eventually make more. Now I shop at the cash and carry, I won’t buy any new clothes that are not on sale, I mend and alter our clothes, etc. Our kids are still young, but we have college and retirement funds all in place, and there’s something about financial security that makes me more willing and less embarrassed about clipping coupons, etc.

But that is the crux of the issue here you were buying for yourself. Say you were down to last few dollars and were at the checkout counter at Giant and someone offered to buy you what was in your shopping cart, would you feel grateful to get decent groceries for free or resentful they did not buy you fancy foods from the fancy market. But people gonna people that is why they have the term choosing beggars.

Sorry, I’m not following your train of thought. My parents both had 2 jobs and I wore homemade clothes until middle school. Our church gave us leftover food on Sundays. Of course I would be grateful for anything if I was down to my last dollar. But I wasn’t - I just wanted some fancy groceries to make me not feel so bad about working so hard for so little. Even as a kid, we were never down to our last dollar, but we did accept food and clothing to help us out.

But people aren't donating fancy groceries so recipients can feel good about themselves. They're donating because they think people are hungry and have nothing else to eat. But apparently that doesn't seem to be the case which makes it seem like there isn't an actual need out there and maybe food banks aren't really necessary since people don't seem all that hungry, just sorry for themselves. Truly hungry people wouldn't worry if they were eating on or off brand food. What you're saying doesn't inspire me to want to donate luxe items at the food bank, what's the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generic Mac and cheese is legitimately always way worse than Kraft so I kind of get it. No difference with cream cheese though.

Uh, no. It's delicious. It's way more orange and way more salty. You literally cannot go wrong with boxed mac n cheese, any brand.

Have you tried the Trader Joe’s one? It’s heinous.

[Anonymous]

Kinda surprised a product like cream cheese was even on the list. How do they store a cold dairy items at your school, where you dropped them off? Genuinely curious as our schools basket drive is all shelf stable items plus a could gift cards for produce and dairy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did this really happen? I can’t imagine someone saying that. If they did, I would probably explain that they mispronounced “thank you” and then shoot an email to their superior about it.

Yes, really happened. The front desk person has long been the discussion of lack of tact. Which is ironic considering her job.

Public in VA.

So then why start a thread and ask if you did something wrong? I guess you just wanted to talk sh*t about the front desk worker? And you have the nerve to comment about her lack of tact. Pot meet kettle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cream cheese specifically, is the exact same thing.

At Giant yesterday, my DD went to get cream cheese and came back with two Phillies.

I said "Whoa, whoa whoa. Hang on. Where's the Giant brand. She had no clue about the distinction."

$2.59 vs $4.59.

In most cases yes, but not for frosting unfortunately. Only time I buy Philadelphia is for cakes- store brand and others sometimes develop waxy “flecks”…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always buy generic for myself, but I always buy name brands for food banks and contributions. The reason is that I had a friend in college who had grown up poor enough to use a food bank regularly and he said that this was something kids always noticed about food bank food--they weren't "good enough" to deserve the brand names.

On an entire Thanksgiving meal for a family of 8 this might add $20 to the price. That's fine with me.

A common enough attitude, as you can see in this thread. Makes you wonder why some people even do charity if they’re going to be so judgmental about the people things are going to (and the hands it passes through on the way there as well…)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cream cheese specifically, is the exact same thing.

At Giant yesterday, my DD went to get cream cheese and came back with two Phillies.

I said "Whoa, whoa whoa. Hang on. Where's the Giant brand. She had no clue about the distinction."

$2.59 vs $4.59.

In most cases yes, but not for frosting unfortunately. Only time I buy Philadelphia is for cakes- store brand and others sometimes develop waxy “flecks”…

Really? I will pay closer attention next time. I have never noticed a difference. I buy The cheaper product and if Philadelphia is on sale and cheaper than storebrand, and that’s what we buy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cream cheese specifically, is the exact same thing.

At Giant yesterday, my DD went to get cream cheese and came back with two Phillies.

I said "Whoa, whoa whoa. Hang on. Where's the Giant brand. She had no clue about the distinction."

$2.59 vs $4.59.

In most cases yes, but not for frosting unfortunately. Only time I buy Philadelphia is for cakes- store brand and others sometimes develop waxy “flecks”…

Really? I will pay closer attention next time. I have never noticed a difference. I buy The cheaper product and if Philadelphia is on sale and cheaper than storebrand, and that’s what we buy.

The waxy flecks seem to develop (or maybe just become more noticeable) when the cream cheese is being whipped with the sugar. It doesn’t happen every time even with the same generic brand which is interesting. But enough that the risk ($ and time!) of ruined cream cheese frosting isn’t worth it.

I actually didn’t figure this out- read in somewhere after another ruined batch and switched to Philadelphia- haven’t had the same problem since.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always buy generic for myself, but I always buy name brands for food banks and contributions. The reason is that I had a friend in college who had grown up poor enough to use a food bank regularly and he said that this was something kids always noticed about food bank food--they weren't "good enough" to deserve the brand names.

On an entire Thanksgiving meal for a family of 8 this might add $20 to the price. That's fine with me.

A common enough attitude, as you can see in this thread. Makes you wonder why some people even do charity if they’re going to be so judgmental about the people things are going to (and the hands it passes through on the way there as well…)

Maybe the food banks need to change their mission and rebrand a bit because it doesn't seem to be about feeding people and more to do with making the donees feel rich for a day, or something. Food is food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always buy generic for myself, but I always buy name brands for food banks and contributions. The reason is that I had a friend in college who had grown up poor enough to use a food bank regularly and he said that this was something kids always noticed about food bank food--they weren't "good enough" to deserve the brand names.

On an entire Thanksgiving meal for a family of 8 this might add $20 to the price. That's fine with me.

A common enough attitude, as you can see in this thread. Makes you wonder why some people even do charity if they’re going to be so judgmental about the people things are going to (and the hands it passes through on the way there as well…)

Maybe the food banks need to change their mission and rebrand a bit because it doesn't seem to be about feeding people and more to do with making the donees feel rich for a day, or something. Food is food.

It’s interesting that this is so upsetting to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ The reason is that I had a friend in college who had grown up poor enough to use a food bank regularly and he said that this was something kids always noticed about food bank food--they weren't "good enough" to deserve the brand names.”

Plenty of families that do not rely on food banks buy generic brands for their own kitchens - especially for ingredients like cream cheese. It is ridiculous to be insulted that someone did not donate name brand products to freely food you.

Yes, and kids are known for their logical grasp of the bigger picture and rational thought processes.

Yes, so ridiculous.

there's an entire book written about how the increased foodie culture of early-mid 21st century america is a result of stratospheric income inequality. food is the only thing that we can treat ourselves to, so we do. Its a lot different when someone who has a comfortable bank balance decides to sock away extra cash by buying generic. Choice is different than necessity in the emotional impact it has on you. My spouse grew up in much more straitened circumstances than I and has some weird hang ups like this and it took a long time to get over them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always buy generic for myself, but I always buy name brands for food banks and contributions. The reason is that I had a friend in college who had grown up poor enough to use a food bank regularly and he said that this was something kids always noticed about food bank food--they weren't "good enough" to deserve the brand names.

On an entire Thanksgiving meal for a family of 8 this might add $20 to the price. That's fine with me.

A common enough attitude, as you can see in this thread. Makes you wonder why some people even do charity if they’re going to be so judgmental about the people things are going to (and the hands it passes through on the way there as well…)

Maybe the food banks need to change their mission and rebrand a bit because it doesn't seem to be about feeding people and more to do with making the donees feel rich for a day, or something. Food is food.

It’s interesting that this is so upsetting to you.

It's interesting that you are projecting so much into a simple statement devoid of feeling. I wonder why you are triggered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always buy generic for myself, but I always buy name brands for food banks and contributions. The reason is that I had a friend in college who had grown up poor enough to use a food bank regularly and he said that this was something kids always noticed about food bank food--they weren't "good enough" to deserve the brand names.

On an entire Thanksgiving meal for a family of 8 this might add $20 to the price. That's fine with me.

A common enough attitude, as you can see in this thread. Makes you wonder why some people even do charity if they’re going to be so judgmental about the people things are going to (and the hands it passes through on the way there as well…)

Maybe the food banks need to change their mission and rebrand a bit because it doesn't seem to be about feeding people and more to do with making the donees feel rich for a day, or something. Food is food.

+1 I think there is a big disconnect and food banks need to rebrand as helping people feel better and they will only accept branded products and give a list of brands. That will be more useful than saying help feed the hungry which the recipients obviously are not!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kinda surprised a product like cream cheese was even on the list. How do they store a cold dairy items at your school, where you dropped them off? Genuinely curious as our schools basket drive is all shelf stable items plus a could gift cards for produce and dairy.

Yes, OP is an obvious troll but we're all having some fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cream cheese specifically, is the exact same thing.

At Giant yesterday, my DD went to get cream cheese and came back with two Phillies.

I said "Whoa, whoa whoa. Hang on. Where's the Giant brand. She had no clue about the distinction."

$2.59 vs $4.59.

In most cases yes, but not for frosting unfortunately. Only time I buy Philadelphia is for cakes- store brand and others sometimes develop waxy “flecks”…

That's only after they've been opened and then rewrapped and put back in the fridge. Those flecks are dried bits.