“Shamed” for Thanksgiving contribution to school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cream cheese specifically, is the exact same thing.

At Giant yesterday, my DD went to get cream cheese and came back with two Phillies.

I said "Whoa, whoa whoa. Hang on. Where's the Giant brand. She had no clue about the distinction."

$2.59 vs $4.59.

In most cases yes, but not for frosting unfortunately. Only time I buy Philadelphia is for cakes- store brand and others sometimes develop waxy “flecks”…

That's only after they've been opened and then rewrapped and put back in the fridge. Those flecks are dried bits.

No, this is definitely different. I need several full packs of cream cheese for frosting so always use new packages. And it’s not crusty and/or yellow and/or dry, actually very smooth but just won’t incorporate

[Anonymous]

Personally, I would have bought Philadelphia brand, to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who buys a lot of cream cheese and can never find enough, it is amazing you were able to find any in the stores as Thanksgiving approaches. Thank you for your donation, period.

Don't worry about the administrator collecting the items. She probably just knows that the recipients have preferences and that is not for generic items. If you have ever worked at a food bank/food pantry, you will notice taht some recipients will complain about receiving generic, very loudly. When I provided pro bono services on a case, my client complained that they were not being interviewed in a fancy legal office but instead, at the small conference room at legal services, and that we could not afford to provide legal assistance for every single one of their legal issues, but just the singular issue agreed to in the retainer.

It sounds ungrateful but it is just that if something is offered for free, some recipients are merely hopeful that they will get the royal treatment, that they perceive or imagine someone wealthy would receive - not an experience someone in the middle class could afford routinely. Proctor and Gamble and many consumer brands have done research on this and a lot of people aspire to purchase Tide or Coca-Cola, or Dawn. It may not be any better than generic, but it is the perception.

I recall there was an actual cream cheese shortage last year due to cyberattacks.

This is interesting about human behavior/free items and it makes sense to me. When I was just out of med school, I was in serious debt and working 80 hours a week, earning somewhere around $8 an hour in San Francisco. I always shopped at andronico’s and the fancy markets because it felt so depressing and defeatist to buy generic cream cheese at the local Giant. I had to hang on to something luxe even though I should have been saving the money. I also knew that I would eventually make more. Now I shop at the cash and carry, I won’t buy any new clothes that are not on sale, I mend and alter our clothes, etc. Our kids are still young, but we have college and retirement funds all in place, and there’s something about financial security that makes me more willing and less embarrassed about clipping coupons, etc.

But that is the crux of the issue here you were buying for yourself. Say you were down to last few dollars and were at the checkout counter at Giant and someone offered to buy you what was in your shopping cart, would you feel grateful to get decent groceries for free or resentful they did not buy you fancy foods from the fancy market. But people gonna people that is why they have the term choosing beggars.

Sorry, I’m not following your train of thought. My parents both had 2 jobs and I wore homemade clothes until middle school. Our church gave us leftover food on Sundays. Of course I would be grateful for anything if I was down to my last dollar. But I wasn’t - I just wanted some fancy groceries to make me not feel so bad about working so hard for so little. Even as a kid, we were never down to our last dollar, but we did accept food and clothing to help us out.

But people aren't donating fancy groceries so recipients can feel good about themselves. They're donating because they think people are hungry and have nothing else to eat. But apparently that doesn't seem to be the case which makes it seem like there isn't an actual need out there and maybe food banks aren't really necessary since people don't seem all that hungry, just sorry for themselves. Truly hungry people wouldn't worry if they were eating on or off brand food. What you're saying doesn't inspire me to want to donate luxe items at the food bank, what's the point?

I wasn’t trying to inspire you to donate anything specific to the food bank. People who are truly hungry, have complex thoughts about the free food they get. Just as people who are truly in need of housing have complex thoughts about the housing they are offered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kinda surprised a product like cream cheese was even on the list. How do they store a cold dairy items at your school, where you dropped them off? Genuinely curious as our schools basket drive is all shelf stable items plus a could gift cards for produce and dairy.

Yes, OP is an obvious troll but we're all having some fun.

OP back after just seeing this. Whoah.

Not sure why you think I’m a troll. The organization the school partners with gave the list and parents could sign up for products. In addition to cream cheese there was also butter. I didn’t really put too much thought into what recipes require cream cheese as I don’t think they require those receiving to just make traditional American thanksgiving food. Seems more like it was branded thanksgiving to drive participation.

To my knowledge it was put it the refrigerator in the front office. But I admit, i didn’t ask for their storage procedures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I would have bought Philadelphia brand, to be honest.

Is Philadelphia brand even the best cream cheese? Zabar’s cream cheese is much tastier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who buys a lot of cream cheese and can never find enough, it is amazing you were able to find any in the stores as Thanksgiving approaches. Thank you for your donation, period.

Don't worry about the administrator collecting the items. She probably just knows that the recipients have preferences and that is not for generic items. If you have ever worked at a food bank/food pantry, you will notice taht some recipients will complain about receiving generic, very loudly. When I provided pro bono services on a case, my client complained that they were not being interviewed in a fancy legal office but instead, at the small conference room at legal services, and that we could not afford to provide legal assistance for every single one of their legal issues, but just the singular issue agreed to in the retainer.

It sounds ungrateful but it is just that if something is offered for free, some recipients are merely hopeful that they will get the royal treatment, that they perceive or imagine someone wealthy would receive - not an experience someone in the middle class could afford routinely. Proctor and Gamble and many consumer brands have done research on this and a lot of people aspire to purchase Tide or Coca-Cola, or Dawn. It may not be any better than generic, but it is the perception.

I recall there was an actual cream cheese shortage last year due to cyberattacks.

This is interesting about human behavior/free items and it makes sense to me. When I was just out of med school, I was in serious debt and working 80 hours a week, earning somewhere around $8 an hour in San Francisco. I always shopped at andronico’s and the fancy markets because it felt so depressing and defeatist to buy generic cream cheese at the local Giant. I had to hang on to something luxe even though I should have been saving the money. I also knew that I would eventually make more. Now I shop at the cash and carry, I won’t buy any new clothes that are not on sale, I mend and alter our clothes, etc. Our kids are still young, but we have college and retirement funds all in place, and there’s something about financial security that makes me more willing and less embarrassed about clipping coupons, etc.

But that is the crux of the issue here you were buying for yourself. Say you were down to last few dollars and were at the checkout counter at Giant and someone offered to buy you what was in your shopping cart, would you feel grateful to get decent groceries for free or resentful they did not buy you fancy foods from the fancy market. But people gonna people that is why they have the term choosing beggars.

Sorry, I’m not following your train of thought. My parents both had 2 jobs and I wore homemade clothes until middle school. Our church gave us leftover food on Sundays. Of course I would be grateful for anything if I was down to my last dollar. But I wasn’t - I just wanted some fancy groceries to make me not feel so bad about working so hard for so little. Even as a kid, we were never down to our last dollar, but we did accept food and clothing to help us out.

But people aren't donating fancy groceries so recipients can feel good about themselves. They're donating because they think people are hungry and have nothing else to eat. But apparently that doesn't seem to be the case which makes it seem like there isn't an actual need out there and maybe food banks aren't really necessary since people don't seem all that hungry, just sorry for themselves. Truly hungry people wouldn't worry if they were eating on or off brand food. What you're saying doesn't inspire me to want to donate luxe items at the food bank, what's the point?

I wasn’t trying to inspire you to donate anything specific to the food bank. People who are truly hungry, have complex thoughts about the free food they get. Just as people who are truly in need of housing have complex thoughts about the housing they are offered.

Then why don’t the organizers better understand their population and ask for specific items instead of wasting everyones time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always buy generic for myself, but I always buy name brands for food banks and contributions. The reason is that I had a friend in college who had grown up poor enough to use a food bank regularly and he said that this was something kids always noticed about food bank food--they weren't "good enough" to deserve the brand names.

On an entire Thanksgiving meal for a family of 8 this might add $20 to the price. That's fine with me.

A common enough attitude, as you can see in this thread. Makes you wonder why some people even do charity if they’re going to be so judgmental about the people things are going to (and the hands it passes through on the way there as well…)

Maybe the food banks need to change their mission and rebrand a bit because it doesn't seem to be about feeding people and more to do with making the donees feel rich for a day, or something. Food is food.

+1 I think there is a big disconnect and food banks need to rebrand as helping people feel better and they will only accept branded products and give a list of brands. That will be more useful than saying help feed the hungry which the recipients obviously are not!

Most people would not be interested in donating to that. Most want to ensure others are not going hungry. When many MC and UMC but various generic brands themselves they are not going to prioritize donating name brand products they may not even buy in their own homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who buys a lot of cream cheese and can never find enough, it is amazing you were able to find any in the stores as Thanksgiving approaches. Thank you for your donation, period.

Don't worry about the administrator collecting the items. She probably just knows that the recipients have preferences and that is not for generic items. If you have ever worked at a food bank/food pantry, you will notice taht some recipients will complain about receiving generic, very loudly. When I provided pro bono services on a case, my client complained that they were not being interviewed in a fancy legal office but instead, at the small conference room at legal services, and that we could not afford to provide legal assistance for every single one of their legal issues, but just the singular issue agreed to in the retainer.

It sounds ungrateful but it is just that if something is offered for free, some recipients are merely hopeful that they will get the royal treatment, that they perceive or imagine someone wealthy would receive - not an experience someone in the middle class could afford routinely. Proctor and Gamble and many consumer brands have done research on this and a lot of people aspire to purchase Tide or Coca-Cola, or Dawn. It may not be any better than generic, but it is the perception.

I recall there was an actual cream cheese shortage last year due to cyberattacks.

This is interesting about human behavior/free items and it makes sense to me. When I was just out of med school, I was in serious debt and working 80 hours a week, earning somewhere around $8 an hour in San Francisco. I always shopped at andronico’s and the fancy markets because it felt so depressing and defeatist to buy generic cream cheese at the local Giant. I had to hang on to something luxe even though I should have been saving the money. I also knew that I would eventually make more. Now I shop at the cash and carry, I won’t buy any new clothes that are not on sale, I mend and alter our clothes, etc. Our kids are still young, but we have college and retirement funds all in place, and there’s something about financial security that makes me more willing and less embarrassed about clipping coupons, etc.

But that is the crux of the issue here you were buying for yourself. Say you were down to last few dollars and were at the checkout counter at Giant and someone offered to buy you what was in your shopping cart, would you feel grateful to get decent groceries for free or resentful they did not buy you fancy foods from the fancy market. But people gonna people that is why they have the term choosing beggars.

Sorry, I’m not following your train of thought. My parents both had 2 jobs and I wore homemade clothes until middle school. Our church gave us leftover food on Sundays. Of course I would be grateful for anything if I was down to my last dollar. But I wasn’t - I just wanted some fancy groceries to make me not feel so bad about working so hard for so little. Even as a kid, we were never down to our last dollar, but we did accept food and clothing to help us out.

But people aren't donating fancy groceries so recipients can feel good about themselves. They're donating because they think people are hungry and have nothing else to eat. But apparently that doesn't seem to be the case which makes it seem like there isn't an actual need out there and maybe food banks aren't really necessary since people don't seem all that hungry, just sorry for themselves. Truly hungry people wouldn't worry if they were eating on or off brand food. What you're saying doesn't inspire me to want to donate luxe items at the food bank, what's the point?

I wasn’t trying to inspire you to donate anything specific to the food bank. People who are truly hungry, have complex thoughts about the free food they get. Just as people who are truly in need of housing have complex thoughts about the housing they are offered.

Oh please. They get hungry enough, they’ll eat. Most of them could stand to skip a few meals, truth be told.

Same deal with housing. It’s cold out, you go inside.

“Complex thoughts…” 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always buy generic for myself, but I always buy name brands for food banks and contributions. The reason is that I had a friend in college who had grown up poor enough to use a food bank regularly and he said that this was something kids always noticed about food bank food--they weren't "good enough" to deserve the brand names.

On an entire Thanksgiving meal for a family of 8 this might add $20 to the price. That's fine with me.

A common enough attitude, as you can see in this thread. Makes you wonder why some people even do charity if they’re going to be so judgmental about the people things are going to (and the hands it passes through on the way there as well…)

Because they don't want them to be hungry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always buy generic for myself, but I always buy name brands for food banks and contributions. The reason is that I had a friend in college who had grown up poor enough to use a food bank regularly and he said that this was something kids always noticed about food bank food--they weren't "good enough" to deserve the brand names.

On an entire Thanksgiving meal for a family of 8 this might add $20 to the price. That's fine with me.

A common enough attitude, as you can see in this thread. Makes you wonder why some people even do charity if they’re going to be so judgmental about the people things are going to (and the hands it passes through on the way there as well…)

Maybe the food banks need to change their mission and rebrand a bit because it doesn't seem to be about feeding people and more to do with making the donees feel rich for a day, or something. Food is food.

+1 I think there is a big disconnect and food banks need to rebrand as helping people feel better and they will only accept branded products and give a list of brands. That will be more useful than saying help feed the hungry which the recipients obviously are not!

Most people would not be interested in donating to that. Most want to ensure others are not going hungry. When many MC and UMC but various generic brands themselves they are not going to prioritize donating name brand products they may not even buy in their own homes.

I thought that post was sarcasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who buys a lot of cream cheese and can never find enough, it is amazing you were able to find any in the stores as Thanksgiving approaches. Thank you for your donation, period.

Don't worry about the administrator collecting the items. She probably just knows that the recipients have preferences and that is not for generic items. If you have ever worked at a food bank/food pantry, you will notice taht some recipients will complain about receiving generic, very loudly. When I provided pro bono services on a case, my client complained that they were not being interviewed in a fancy legal office but instead, at the small conference room at legal services, and that we could not afford to provide legal assistance for every single one of their legal issues, but just the singular issue agreed to in the retainer.

It sounds ungrateful but it is just that if something is offered for free, some recipients are merely hopeful that they will get the royal treatment, that they perceive or imagine someone wealthy would receive - not an experience someone in the middle class could afford routinely. Proctor and Gamble and many consumer brands have done research on this and a lot of people aspire to purchase Tide or Coca-Cola, or Dawn. It may not be any better than generic, but it is the perception.

Right? It's like the Depression era hungry people who were left to eat ketchup soup would pass it up if it was Hunt's not Heinz ketchup soup because they got all caught up in their feelings about off brand ketchup. If people are that picky they aren't hungry so let the donors choose to spend their energy and donations elsewhere where they would be put to better use. These food banks don't need to exist if they don't actually carry out their mission.
I recall there was an actual cream cheese shortage last year due to cyberattacks.

This is interesting about human behavior/free items and it makes sense to me. When I was just out of med school, I was in serious debt and working 80 hours a week, earning somewhere around $8 an hour in San Francisco. I always shopped at andronico’s and the fancy markets because it felt so depressing and defeatist to buy generic cream cheese at the local Giant. I had to hang on to something luxe even though I should have been saving the money. I also knew that I would eventually make more. Now I shop at the cash and carry, I won’t buy any new clothes that are not on sale, I mend and alter our clothes, etc. Our kids are still young, but we have college and retirement funds all in place, and there’s something about financial security that makes me more willing and less embarrassed about clipping coupons, etc.

But that is the crux of the issue here you were buying for yourself. Say you were down to last few dollars and were at the checkout counter at Giant and someone offered to buy you what was in your shopping cart, would you feel grateful to get decent groceries for free or resentful they did not buy you fancy foods from the fancy market. But people gonna people that is why they have the term choosing beggars.

Sorry, I’m not following your train of thought. My parents both had 2 jobs and I wore homemade clothes until middle school. Our church gave us leftover food on Sundays. Of course I would be grateful for anything if I was down to my last dollar. But I wasn’t - I just wanted some fancy groceries to make me not feel so bad about working so hard for so little. Even as a kid, we were never down to our last dollar, but we did accept food and clothing to help us out.

But people aren't donating fancy groceries so recipients can feel good about themselves. They're donating because they think people are hungry and have nothing else to eat. But apparently that doesn't seem to be the case which makes it seem like there isn't an actual need out there and maybe food banks aren't really necessary since people don't seem all that hungry, just sorry for themselves. Truly hungry people wouldn't worry if they were eating on or off brand food. What you're saying doesn't inspire me to want to donate luxe items at the food bank, what's the point?

I wasn’t trying to inspire you to donate anything specific to the food bank. People who are truly hungry, have complex thoughts about the free food they get. Just as people who are truly in need of housing have complex thoughts about the housing they are offered.

Oh please. They get hungry enough, they’ll eat. Most of them could stand to skip a few meals, truth be told.

Same deal with housing. It’s cold out, you go inside.

“Complex thoughts…” 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who buys a lot of cream cheese and can never find enough, it is amazing you were able to find any in the stores as Thanksgiving approaches. Thank you for your donation, period.

Don't worry about the administrator collecting the items. She probably just knows that the recipients have preferences and that is not for generic items. If you have ever worked at a food bank/food pantry, you will notice taht some recipients will complain about receiving generic, very loudly. When I provided pro bono services on a case, my client complained that they were not being interviewed in a fancy legal office but instead, at the small conference room at legal services, and that we could not afford to provide legal assistance for every single one of their legal issues, but just the singular issue agreed to in the retainer.

It sounds ungrateful but it is just that if something is offered for free, some recipients are merely hopeful that they will get the royal treatment, that they perceive or imagine someone wealthy would receive - not an experience someone in the middle class could afford routinely. Proctor and Gamble and many consumer brands have done research on this and a lot of people aspire to purchase Tide or Coca-Cola, or Dawn. It may not be any better than generic, but it is the perception.

I recall there was an actual cream cheese shortage last year due to cyberattacks.

This is interesting about human behavior/free items and it makes sense to me. When I was just out of med school, I was in serious debt and working 80 hours a week, earning somewhere around $8 an hour in San Francisco. I always shopped at andronico’s and the fancy markets because it felt so depressing and defeatist to buy generic cream cheese at the local Giant. I had to hang on to something luxe even though I should have been saving the money. I also knew that I would eventually make more. Now I shop at the cash and carry, I won’t buy any new clothes that are not on sale, I mend and alter our clothes, etc. Our kids are still young, but we have college and retirement funds all in place, and there’s something about financial security that makes me more willing and less embarrassed about clipping coupons, etc.

But that is the crux of the issue here you were buying for yourself. Say you were down to last few dollars and were at the checkout counter at Giant and someone offered to buy you what was in your shopping cart, would you feel grateful to get decent groceries for free or resentful they did not buy you fancy foods from the fancy market. But people gonna people that is why they have the term choosing beggars.

Sorry, I’m not following your train of thought. My parents both had 2 jobs and I wore homemade clothes until middle school. Our church gave us leftover food on Sundays. Of course I would be grateful for anything if I was down to my last dollar. But I wasn’t - I just wanted some fancy groceries to make me not feel so bad about working so hard for so little. Even as a kid, we were never down to our last dollar, but we did accept food and clothing to help us out.

But people aren't donating fancy groceries so recipients can feel good about themselves. They're donating because they think people are hungry and have nothing else to eat. But apparently that doesn't seem to be the case which makes it seem like there isn't an actual need out there and maybe food banks aren't really necessary since people don't seem all that hungry, just sorry for themselves. Truly hungry people wouldn't worry if they were eating on or off brand food. What you're saying doesn't inspire me to want to donate luxe items at the food bank, what's the point?

I wasn’t trying to inspire you to donate anything specific to the food bank. People who are truly hungry, have complex thoughts about the free food they get. Just as people who are truly in need of housing have complex thoughts about the housing they are offered.

Oh please. They get hungry enough, they’ll eat. Most of them could stand to skip a few meals, truth be told.

Same deal with housing. It’s cold out, you go inside.

“Complex thoughts…” 🙄

Right? It's like the Depression era hungry people who were left to eat ketchup soup would pass it up if it was Hunt's not Heinz ketchup soup because they got all caught up in their feelings about off brand ketchup. If people are that picky they aren't hungry so let the donors choose to spend their energy and donations elsewhere where they would be put to better use. These food banks don't need to exist if they don't actually carry out their mission.

[Anonymous]

I guess beggars CAN be choosers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess beggars CAN be choosers!

LOL End of thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I would have bought Philadelphia brand, to be honest.

The generic is just as good. I always buy it for that reason.