“Shamed” for Thanksgiving contribution to school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn’t have told you straight to your face, but as an occasional recipient of food boxes I always appreciate when I get something by well known brands. First, it’s more consistent, and second, I feel like the person didn’t think of me as less than. I am sure you got what you usually get for yourself, and I would never ever say anything but just so you know, it does matter. Of course it doesn’t mean you should immediately change your ways.

You are less than. You're receiving free food from someone who paid for it and gave it to you because you couldn't afford to buy it yourself. Are we supposed to pretend you're equals? You're not. Nothing wrong with that -- I've been there myself -- but it is what it is.

Np. Wow.

Sorry, it's true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn’t have told you straight to your face, but as an occasional recipient of food boxes I always appreciate when I get something by well known brands. First, it’s more consistent, and second, I feel like the person didn’t think of me as less than. I am sure you got what you usually get for yourself, and I would never ever say anything but just so you know, it does matter. Of course it doesn’t mean you should immediately change your ways.

You are less than. You're receiving free food from someone who paid for it and gave it to you because you couldn't afford to buy it yourself. Are we supposed to pretend you're equals? You're not. Nothing wrong with that -- I've been there myself -- but it is what it is.

You might just win yourself a unanimous DCUM opinion in solidarity of what a foul, sub-human being you are. How utterly vile.

Nobody is "less than" based on their ability to buy food today, this week, this month, or this year. The tables can turn with a quickness, honey. Keep that in your small mind, poisoned with privilege as it may be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn’t have told you straight to your face, but as an occasional recipient of food boxes I always appreciate when I get something by well known brands. First, it’s more consistent, and second, I feel like the person didn’t think of me as less than. I am sure you got what you usually get for yourself, and I would never ever say anything but just so you know, it does matter. Of course it doesn’t mean you should immediately change your ways.

You are less than. You're receiving free food from someone who paid for it and gave it to you because you couldn't afford to buy it yourself. Are we supposed to pretend you're equals? You're not. Nothing wrong with that -- I've been there myself -- but it is what it is.

You might just win yourself a unanimous DCUM opinion in solidarity of what a foul, sub-human being you are. How utterly vile.

Nobody is "less than" based on their ability to buy food today, this week, this month, or this year. The tables can turn with a quickness, honey. Keep that in your small mind, poisoned with privilege as it may be.

Wow. And you are less than for being nasty as hell. I already said I've been on the receiving end and also on the giving end. Being on the giving end is much better. Sorry but when you are in need of free food, don't pretend you're equals with the people providing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn’t have told you straight to your face, but as an occasional recipient of food boxes I always appreciate when I get something by well known brands. First, it’s more consistent, and second, I feel like the person didn’t think of me as less than. I am sure you got what you usually get for yourself, and I would never ever say anything but just so you know, it does matter. Of course it doesn’t mean you should immediately change your ways.

You are less than. You're receiving free food from someone who paid for it and gave it to you because you couldn't afford to buy it yourself. Are we supposed to pretend you're equals? You're not. Nothing wrong with that -- I've been there myself -- but it is what it is.

You might just win yourself a unanimous DCUM opinion in solidarity of what a foul, sub-human being you are. How utterly vile.

Nobody is "less than" based on their ability to buy food today, this week, this month, or this year. The tables can turn with a quickness, honey. Keep that in your small mind, poisoned with privilege as it may be.

Wow. And you are less than for being nasty as hell. I already said I've been on the receiving end and also on the giving end. Being on the giving end is much better. Sorry but when you are in need of free food, don't pretend you're equals with the people providing it.

"Equal" what?? Are you a better person because today you can afford the food? Are you more worthy of love or life or nourishment because of what's in your bank account? Do you last another round for a chance at the rose or not getting voted off the island while the poorer person gets booted? What is it that you think you are more deserving of because, today, you don't need free food? What is someone less deserving of because, today, they relied on the generosity (let's not call it kindness in your case) of strangers willing to donate some food? Lots of us have been on both ends, and no kidding the giving end is better. But it's delusional to look at those on the receiving end as "less than" you, whatever the hell that means.

People are people. Are you really assigning value to people based solely on their current ability to buy food?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn’t have told you straight to your face, but as an occasional recipient of food boxes I always appreciate when I get something by well known brands. First, it’s more consistent, and second, I feel like the person didn’t think of me as less than. I am sure you got what you usually get for yourself, and I would never ever say anything but just so you know, it does matter. Of course it doesn’t mean you should immediately change your ways.

You are less than. You're receiving free food from someone who paid for it and gave it to you because you couldn't afford to buy it yourself. Are we supposed to pretend you're equals? You're not. Nothing wrong with that -- I've been there myself -- but it is what it is.

You might just win yourself a unanimous DCUM opinion in solidarity of what a foul, sub-human being you are. How utterly vile.

Nobody is "less than" based on their ability to buy food today, this week, this month, or this year. The tables can turn with a quickness, honey. Keep that in your small mind, poisoned with privilege as it may be.

Wow. And you are less than for being nasty as hell. I already said I've been on the receiving end and also on the giving end. Being on the giving end is much better. Sorry but when you are in need of free food, don't pretend you're equals with the people providing it.

"Equal" what?? Are you a better person because today you can afford the food? Are you more worthy of love or life or nourishment because of what's in your bank account? Do you last another round for a chance at the rose or not getting voted off the island while the poorer person gets booted? What is it that you think you are more deserving of because, today, you don't need free food? What is someone less deserving of because, today, they relied on the generosity (let's not call it kindness in your case) of strangers willing to donate some food? Lots of us have been on both ends, and no kidding the giving end is better. But it's delusional to look at those on the receiving end as "less than" you, whatever the hell that means.

People are people. Are you really assigning value to people based solely on their current ability to buy food?

What are you talking about? If you need food, you are not equals with the person giving to you for free. It's pretty simple. If you don't think I give as an act of kindness, who cares. I give because I've been there and I know how it feels.

[Anonymous]

That would be the last time I donate a damn thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn’t have told you straight to your face, but as an occasional recipient of food boxes I always appreciate when I get something by well known brands. First, it’s more consistent, and second, I feel like the person didn’t think of me as less than. I am sure you got what you usually get for yourself, and I would never ever say anything but just so you know, it does matter. Of course it doesn’t mean you should immediately change your ways.

You are less than. You're receiving free food from someone who paid for it and gave it to you because you couldn't afford to buy it yourself. Are we supposed to pretend you're equals? You're not. Nothing wrong with that -- I've been there myself -- but it is what it is.

Np. Wow.

Sorry, it's true.

So Elon musk is more than Jesus. Got it. Enjoy that worldview.

[Anonymous]

I received free food and clothing as a child. My mother always said thank you and told us that we should be thankful of others' kindness to us (and that with education we can be the givers as adults).

What has changed so much in the world these last 20 years?

[Anonymous]

I think it is fine to buy generic cream cheese for donations, obviously. However, the fact that you set that you bought it because you prefer it for yourself sounds insincere at best. You bought it to save some nickels and the person called you out on it.

[Anonymous]

NP. Let's just state that how poor you are does not make you less than someone of more means. Many a philosopher has thought about what wealth and money does for one's happiness but what philosopher has ever opined that net worth equates to self worth? I suppose there is a first for every school of thought.

[Anonymous]

It’s always nice to give more than you’d get for yourself—that’s what makes it a true gift. But you did nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who buys a lot of cream cheese and can never find enough, it is amazing you were able to find any in the stores as Thanksgiving approaches. Thank you for your donation, period.

Don't worry about the administrator collecting the items. She probably just knows that the recipients have preferences and that is not for generic items. If you have ever worked at a food bank/food pantry, you will notice taht some recipients will complain about receiving generic, very loudly. When I provided pro bono services on a case, my client complained that they were not being interviewed in a fancy legal office but instead, at the small conference room at legal services, and that we could not afford to provide legal assistance for every single one of their legal issues, but just the singular issue agreed to in the retainer.

It sounds ungrateful but it is just that if something is offered for free, some recipients are merely hopeful that they will get the royal treatment, that they perceive or imagine someone wealthy would receive - not an experience someone in the middle class could afford routinely. Proctor and Gamble and many consumer brands have done research on this and a lot of people aspire to purchase Tide or Coca-Cola, or Dawn. It may not be any better than generic, but it is the perception.

I recall there was an actual cream cheese shortage last year due to cyberattacks.

This is interesting about human behavior/free items and it makes sense to me. When I was just out of med school, I was in serious debt and working 80 hours a week, earning somewhere around $8 an hour in San Francisco. I always shopped at andronico’s and the fancy markets because it felt so depressing and defeatist to buy generic cream cheese at the local Giant. I had to hang on to something luxe even though I should have been saving the money. I also knew that I would eventually make more. Now I shop at the cash and carry, I won’t buy any new clothes that are not on sale, I mend and alter our clothes, etc. Our kids are still young, but we have college and retirement funds all in place, and there’s something about financial security that makes me more willing and less embarrassed about clipping coupons, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn’t have told you straight to your face, but as an occasional recipient of food boxes I always appreciate when I get something by well known brands. First, it’s more consistent, and second, I feel like the person didn’t think of me as less than. I am sure you got what you usually get for yourself, and I would never ever say anything but just so you know, it does matter. Of course it doesn’t mean you should immediately change your ways.

You are less than. You're receiving free food from someone who paid for it and gave it to you because you couldn't afford to buy it yourself. Are we supposed to pretend you're equals? You're not. Nothing wrong with that -- I've been there myself -- but it is what it is.

You might just win yourself a unanimous DCUM opinion in solidarity of what a foul, sub-human being you are. How utterly vile.

Nobody is "less than" based on their ability to buy food today, this week, this month, or this year. The tables can turn with a quickness, honey. Keep that in your small mind, poisoned with privilege as it may be.

Whoa. You’re… whew. Go touch grass my friend. Chill out and try being civil.

PP is just stating what most people think but won’t say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who buys a lot of cream cheese and can never find enough, it is amazing you were able to find any in the stores as Thanksgiving approaches. Thank you for your donation, period.

Don't worry about the administrator collecting the items. She probably just knows that the recipients have preferences and that is not for generic items. If you have ever worked at a food bank/food pantry, you will notice taht some recipients will complain about receiving generic, very loudly. When I provided pro bono services on a case, my client complained that they were not being interviewed in a fancy legal office but instead, at the small conference room at legal services, and that we could not afford to provide legal assistance for every single one of their legal issues, but just the singular issue agreed to in the retainer.

It sounds ungrateful but it is just that if something is offered for free, some recipients are merely hopeful that they will get the royal treatment, that they perceive or imagine someone wealthy would receive - not an experience someone in the middle class could afford routinely. Proctor and Gamble and many consumer brands have done research on this and a lot of people aspire to purchase Tide or Coca-Cola, or Dawn. It may not be any better than generic, but it is the perception.

I recall there was an actual cream cheese shortage last year due to cyberattacks.

This is interesting about human behavior/free items and it makes sense to me. When I was just out of med school, I was in serious debt and working 80 hours a week, earning somewhere around $8 an hour in San Francisco. I always shopped at andronico’s and the fancy markets because it felt so depressing and defeatist to buy generic cream cheese at the local Giant. I had to hang on to something luxe even though I should have been saving the money. I also knew that I would eventually make more. Now I shop at the cash and carry, I won’t buy any new clothes that are not on sale, I mend and alter our clothes, etc. Our kids are still young, but we have college and retirement funds all in place, and there’s something about financial security that makes me more willing and less embarrassed about clipping coupons, etc.

But that is the crux of the issue here you were buying for yourself. Say you were down to last few dollars and were at the checkout counter at Giant and someone offered to buy you what was in your shopping cart, would you feel grateful to get decent groceries for free or resentful they did not buy you fancy foods from the fancy market. But people gonna people that is why they have the term choosing beggars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who buys a lot of cream cheese and can never find enough, it is amazing you were able to find any in the stores as Thanksgiving approaches. Thank you for your donation, period.

Don't worry about the administrator collecting the items. She probably just knows that the recipients have preferences and that is not for generic items. If you have ever worked at a food bank/food pantry, you will notice taht some recipients will complain about receiving generic, very loudly. When I provided pro bono services on a case, my client complained that they were not being interviewed in a fancy legal office but instead, at the small conference room at legal services, and that we could not afford to provide legal assistance for every single one of their legal issues, but just the singular issue agreed to in the retainer.

It sounds ungrateful but it is just that if something is offered for free, some recipients are merely hopeful that they will get the royal treatment, that they perceive or imagine someone wealthy would receive - not an experience someone in the middle class could afford routinely. Proctor and Gamble and many consumer brands have done research on this and a lot of people aspire to purchase Tide or Coca-Cola, or Dawn. It may not be any better than generic, but it is the perception.

I recall there was an actual cream cheese shortage last year due to cyberattacks.

This is interesting about human behavior/free items and it makes sense to me. When I was just out of med school, I was in serious debt and working 80 hours a week, earning somewhere around $8 an hour in San Francisco. I always shopped at andronico’s and the fancy markets because it felt so depressing and defeatist to buy generic cream cheese at the local Giant. I had to hang on to something luxe even though I should have been saving the money. I also knew that I would eventually make more. Now I shop at the cash and carry, I won’t buy any new clothes that are not on sale, I mend and alter our clothes, etc. Our kids are still young, but we have college and retirement funds all in place, and there’s something about financial security that makes me more willing and less embarrassed about clipping coupons, etc.

But that is the crux of the issue here you were buying for yourself. Say you were down to last few dollars and were at the checkout counter at Giant and someone offered to buy you what was in your shopping cart, would you feel grateful to get decent groceries for free or resentful they did not buy you fancy foods from the fancy market. But people gonna people that is why they have the term choosing beggars.

Sorry, I’m not following your train of thought. My parents both had 2 jobs and I wore homemade clothes until middle school. Our church gave us leftover food on Sundays. Of course I would be grateful for anything if I was down to my last dollar. But I wasn’t - I just wanted some fancy groceries to make me not feel so bad about working so hard for so little. Even as a kid, we were never down to our last dollar, but we did accept food and clothing to help us out.