No kids wedding...except there were kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

Not a problem to find a sitter for an in-town wedding. It is out-of-town weddings that are a challenge. And if you are able to have family stay with your kids or your kid will do fine with a random stranger in a hotel, then consider yourself fortunate.

You aren't required to go to the wedding. If it doesn't work then just don't go. The wedding is not planned around your convenience. The bride and groom are planning the wedding they want, if it's a destination wedding then they know some people won't go and they are likely just inviting them out of obligation. Same for people who have to travel a long way. Unless it's immediate family just send regrets. Easy peasy.

And how hard is it for the bride/groom to say - we are limiting kids to those in the wedding party and/or immediate family rather than lying and saying it is a kid-free wedding when it isn't? That was the OP's problem. Not that her kids weren't invited but that she was lied to. And clearly some people don't care at all about that, but other people do.

How would this even be communicated? Is this on the invitation somewhere? The vast majority of people just get it, it's obvious that family trumps friends/coworkers/neighbors. A reasonable person understands you can't invite multiple families with kids in tow without completely blowing the budget and having to find a much larger venue when the bride and groom don't even know or care about these kids. Maybe now having read this thread more people will be in the know as to how these things actually work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

It is a hassle to find a sitter to come up a hotel in a town you have never been to before.

If you are unable to figure out a way to go to a wedding without bringing your kids, who are not invited, you can’t go. If the the bride is your bff and really really wants you there and you’ve explained this to her but she still doesn’t want your kids there it sounds like she’d prefer to have the whole family decline than invite the kids. So decline.

Or I can get a sitter and expect a parenting message board to recognize that it’s kind of a hassle.

I'm a parent and don't consider it to be a huge hassle to sometimes need a sitter. You're barking up the wrong tree. Lots of things are a hassle when you have kids. Are you a new parent?

No. My oldest child is 12.
I just had to get a sitter yesterday when I was called into work because someone had Covid. I needed someone from 3:30pm-2am. So probably wedding hours.
I had to go a dozen people into my list before I found someone who could do it. I’m surprised that you have never had an issue with childcare.

NP. Yeah, and when you can’t get child care or it falls through, you…can’t do the thing. Sucks, yeah? Sometimes you miss a tee time or a vacation or a movie or a wedding because shyt happens. Especially when you have kids, shyt happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is ridiculous. Your kids aren’t entitled to an invite.

If only you could read....nobody is saying kids are entitled to be invited. The OP was saying that she was rightfully annoyed that the bride/groom lied to her about this issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

It is a hassle to find a sitter to come up a hotel in a town you have never been to before.

If you are unable to figure out a way to go to a wedding without bringing your kids, who are not invited, you can’t go. If the the bride is your bff and really really wants you there and you’ve explained this to her but she still doesn’t want your kids there it sounds like she’d prefer to have the whole family decline than invite the kids. So decline.

Or I can get a sitter and expect a parenting message board to recognize that it’s kind of a hassle.

I'm a parent and don't consider it to be a huge hassle to sometimes need a sitter. You're barking up the wrong tree. Lots of things are a hassle when you have kids. Are you a new parent?

No. My oldest child is 12.
I just had to get a sitter yesterday when I was called into work because someone had Covid. I needed someone from 3:30pm-2am. So probably wedding hours.
I had to go a dozen people into my list before I found someone who could do it. I’m surprised that you have never had an issue with childcare.

If I have an issue then I just can't go or don't do it. Such is life. A wedding isn't that important, if you can't make it work you can't make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is ridiculous. Your kids aren’t entitled to an invite.

If only you could read....nobody is saying kids are entitled to be invited. The OP was saying that she was rightfully annoyed that the bride/groom lied to her about this issue.

Lol no one lied about anything. Get a grip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

Not a problem to find a sitter for an in-town wedding. It is out-of-town weddings that are a challenge. And if you are able to have family stay with your kids or your kid will do fine with a random stranger in a hotel, then consider yourself fortunate.

You aren't required to go to the wedding. If it doesn't work then just don't go. The wedding is not planned around your convenience. The bride and groom are planning the wedding they want, if it's a destination wedding then they know some people won't go and they are likely just inviting them out of obligation. Same for people who have to travel a long way. Unless it's immediate family just send regrets. Easy peasy.

People are actually not this rational and get really weird about their expectations of others on their wedding day. I had a friend who expected her grandmother to wheel her wheelchair a mile out into the woods for a ceremony. It is really not the case that if the bride makes attending difficult, then she is okay with you not coming.

And I bet a compromise or exception was made for a dear grandmother in a way an accommodation would not be made for dozens of children the bride and groom barely know because it's too hard to book a sitter.

No. What happened is exactly what happens here. The bride was irrationally angry at her grandmother. People tried to point out how the bride was being unreasonable, and she did backbends to prove that this wasn’t actually that difficult. Then, when her grandmother didn’t come, the bride held a grudge about it for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is ridiculous. Your kids aren’t entitled to an invite.

If only you could read....nobody is saying kids are entitled to be invited. The OP was saying that she was rightfully annoyed that the bride/groom lied to her about this issue.

NP. Show me exactly where OP said she was literally told by the bride and groom this was 100% a child free wedding, guaranteed. Oh wait, you can’t because not even OP said that happened. Seems like OP simply ASSumed that not her kids = guaranteed no kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

Not a problem to find a sitter for an in-town wedding. It is out-of-town weddings that are a challenge. And if you are able to have family stay with your kids or your kid will do fine with a random stranger in a hotel, then consider yourself fortunate.

You aren't required to go to the wedding. If it doesn't work then just don't go. The wedding is not planned around your convenience. The bride and groom are planning the wedding they want, if it's a destination wedding then they know some people won't go and they are likely just inviting them out of obligation. Same for people who have to travel a long way. Unless it's immediate family just send regrets. Easy peasy.

People are actually not this rational and get really weird about their expectations of others on their wedding day. I had a friend who expected her grandmother to wheel her wheelchair a mile out into the woods for a ceremony. It is really not the case that if the bride makes attending difficult, then she is okay with you not coming.

And I bet a compromise or exception was made for a dear grandmother in a way an accommodation would not be made for dozens of children the bride and groom barely know because it's too hard to book a sitter.

No. What happened is exactly what happens here. The bride was irrationally angry at her grandmother. People tried to point out how the bride was being unreasonable, and she did backbends to prove that this wasn’t actually that difficult. Then, when her grandmother didn’t come, the bride held a grudge about it for years.

Somehow I don't think the bride and groom in this situation will care about OP if she holds a grudge for years because she couldn't bring her kids to their wedding. Who needs friends like that anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

It is a hassle to find a sitter to come up a hotel in a town you have never been to before.

If you are unable to figure out a way to go to a wedding without bringing your kids, who are not invited, you can’t go. If the the bride is your bff and really really wants you there and you’ve explained this to her but she still doesn’t want your kids there it sounds like she’d prefer to have the whole family decline than invite the kids. So decline.

Or I can get a sitter and expect a parenting message board to recognize that it’s kind of a hassle.

I'm a parent and don't consider it to be a huge hassle to sometimes need a sitter. You're barking up the wrong tree. Lots of things are a hassle when you have kids. Are you a new parent?

No. My oldest child is 12.
I just had to get a sitter yesterday when I was called into work because someone had Covid. I needed someone from 3:30pm-2am. So probably wedding hours.
I had to go a dozen people into my list before I found someone who could do it. I’m surprised that you have never had an issue with childcare.

If I have an issue then I just can't go or don't do it. Such is life. A wedding isn't that important, if you can't make it work you can't make it work.

So if it wasn’t easy, then you just wouldn’t go?

I guess that I would be willing to go through some hassle in order to attend a friend’s wedding. I know that people went through some hassles to attend mine, and I appreciated it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

Not a problem to find a sitter for an in-town wedding. It is out-of-town weddings that are a challenge. And if you are able to have family stay with your kids or your kid will do fine with a random stranger in a hotel, then consider yourself fortunate.

You aren't required to go to the wedding. If it doesn't work then just don't go. The wedding is not planned around your convenience. The bride and groom are planning the wedding they want, if it's a destination wedding then they know some people won't go and they are likely just inviting them out of obligation. Same for people who have to travel a long way. Unless it's immediate family just send regrets. Easy peasy.

And how hard is it for the bride/groom to say - we are limiting kids to those in the wedding party and/or immediate family rather than lying and saying it is a kid-free wedding when it isn't? That was the OP's problem. Not that her kids weren't invited but that she was lied to. And clearly some people don't care at all about that, but other people do.

How would this even be communicated? Is this on the invitation somewhere? The vast majority of people just get it, it's obvious that family trumps friends/coworkers/neighbors. A reasonable person understands you can't invite multiple families with kids in tow without completely blowing the budget and having to find a much larger venue when the bride and groom don't even know or care about these kids. Maybe now having read this thread more people will be in the know as to how these things actually work.

+1. How is all of this not obvious? Do people really expect a disclaimer on the invite saying “while we can’t accommodate your kids, please know that my nieces will be in attendance as they are acting as flower girls”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

It is a hassle to find a sitter to come up a hotel in a town you have never been to before.

If you are unable to figure out a way to go to a wedding without bringing your kids, who are not invited, you can’t go. If the the bride is your bff and really really wants you there and you’ve explained this to her but she still doesn’t want your kids there it sounds like she’d prefer to have the whole family decline than invite the kids. So decline.

Or I can get a sitter and expect a parenting message board to recognize that it’s kind of a hassle.

I'm a parent and don't consider it to be a huge hassle to sometimes need a sitter. You're barking up the wrong tree. Lots of things are a hassle when you have kids. Are you a new parent?

No. My oldest child is 12.
I just had to get a sitter yesterday when I was called into work because someone had Covid. I needed someone from 3:30pm-2am. So probably wedding hours.
I had to go a dozen people into my list before I found someone who could do it. I’m surprised that you have never had an issue with childcare.

If I have an issue then I just can't go or don't do it. Such is life. A wedding isn't that important, if you can't make it work you can't make it work.

So if it wasn’t easy, then you just wouldn’t go?

I guess that I would be willing to go through some hassle in order to attend a friend’s wedding. I know that people went through some hassles to attend mine, and I appreciated it.

I don't think calling a sitter is a hassle. That's you. A hassle would be like the car broke down on the way and I had to get an emergency tow and paid $$$ to get it fixed ASAP and I still made it on time. Getting a sitter is pretty low on the list of what I consider a hassle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is ridiculous. Your kids aren’t entitled to an invite.

If only you could read....nobody is saying kids are entitled to be invited. The OP was saying that she was rightfully annoyed that the bride/groom lied to her about this issue.

NP. Show me exactly where OP said she was literally told by the bride and groom this was 100% a child free wedding, guaranteed. Oh wait, you can’t because not even OP said that happened. Seems like OP simply ASSumed that not her kids = guaranteed no kids.

Well, her title said "No Kids Wedding," suggesting that she was under the impression that it was a wedding without kids.

[Anonymous]

I had a limit on children at my wedding. We permitted families that were traveling quite far to attend (like cross country), those with infants, and bridal party. That said, people showed up with their uninvited children and that was entirely out of my control. Most of the guest list where we did not include their children had local family in town that could watch their kids so I didn't think it should have been as big of a deal as it was. If I let everyone bring their kids we would have had at least 100 children and it would have pushed us to an almost 300 person wedding. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

Not a problem to find a sitter for an in-town wedding. It is out-of-town weddings that are a challenge. And if you are able to have family stay with your kids or your kid will do fine with a random stranger in a hotel, then consider yourself fortunate.

You aren't required to go to the wedding. If it doesn't work then just don't go. The wedding is not planned around your convenience. The bride and groom are planning the wedding they want, if it's a destination wedding then they know some people won't go and they are likely just inviting them out of obligation. Same for people who have to travel a long way. Unless it's immediate family just send regrets. Easy peasy.

People are actually not this rational and get really weird about their expectations of others on their wedding day. I had a friend who expected her grandmother to wheel her wheelchair a mile out into the woods for a ceremony. It is really not the case that if the bride makes attending difficult, then she is okay with you not coming.

And I bet a compromise or exception was made for a dear grandmother in a way an accommodation would not be made for dozens of children the bride and groom barely know because it's too hard to book a sitter.

No. What happened is exactly what happens here. The bride was irrationally angry at her grandmother. People tried to point out how the bride was being unreasonable, and she did backbends to prove that this wasn’t actually that difficult. Then, when her grandmother didn’t come, the bride held a grudge about it for years.

Somehow I don't think the bride and groom in this situation will care about OP if she holds a grudge for years because she couldn't bring her kids to their wedding. Who needs friends like that anyway?

Right? With friends like that who needs enemies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a limit on children at my wedding. We permitted families that were traveling quite far to attend (like cross country), those with infants, and bridal party. That said, people showed up with their uninvited children and that was entirely out of my control. Most of the guest list where we did not include their children had local family in town that could watch their kids so I didn't think it should have been as big of a deal as it was. If I let everyone bring their kids we would have had at least 100 children and it would have pushed us to an almost 300 person wedding. No thanks.

It was very considerate of you to accommodate people who traveled far and those with infants. I'm astonished that people actually show up at weddings with their kids in tow when they weren't invited? People really do that?