No kids wedding...except there were kids.
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Anonymous
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Pretty sure I'm the OP of the thread from a while ago. It was a ton of very young kids. Like 4 ring bearers all under age 4 and 3 flower girls all under age 4. So it was 7 kids. All of us with kids that weren't allowed were all older, more well behaved.
All other no kids weddings had 0 kids. Except one where the nephew whose Dad was the groom's brother and murdered that year. So made total sense nephew was there in his Dad's place. |
Anonymous
I was pretty happy with how we pulled this off and managed it all but thank you so much for your unsolicited advice. |
Anonymous
Are you seriously saying you don't know the difference between a child and an adult?? |
Anonymous
DP here. You are very dramatic - and your kid picks up on it. In case that is of any concern to you - which it should be. |
Anonymous
Our wedding was "no kids under age 15." Now we have two kids of our own and are raising, through kinship care, two relatives, all of whom are under age 10. We've been invited to three family weddings in the past five years, all of which were "no kids." Were we upset? Not at all! We completely understood and honored the bride and groom's wishes. In fact, we would've been surprised if our children were invited, for weddings aren't very fun for little children, nor would most children enjoy the type of food served at most weddings. For my cousin's wedding, DH's sister babysat. For the weddings of DH's sister and DH's nephew, my sister babysat. We actually appreciated the evenings out, but had we not had access to a babysitter, we would've just divided and conquered, with one of us attending the wedding and the other staying home with the children. I cannot imagine assuming children are invited UNLESS the invitation said "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and Family" or "The Smith Family." It is unfathomable that people just assume their entire family is invited to an expensive, formal event. 
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Anonymous
I didn't write DP but that was my first post on that particular thread. I can't understand how someone can honestly say a 7 year old would have not know from a wedding or have an idea it's something they might attend. TV, movies, fairy tales, friends, and other family weddings... I can't see how a person makes such an argument in good faith, unless the child has severe special needs. |
Anonymous
I’m saying I’ve never been to a wedding that was that bad. |
Anonymous
Although I’ll own now that I misread your original comment. |
Anonymous
Ok, some of you either have not planned weddings or were asleep at the wheel when you planned your wedding, because these complaints are idiotic. The expectation that as a regular guest at a wedding (so NOT in the wedding party, not immediate family of bride or groom), your kids should be invited if any other kids are invited, is unbelievably entitled. In many cases you are talking about doubling the number of people in your party. Now multiply that by the the number of parents invited to the wedding. How can you not understand this? My wedding was a decade ago, but I still remember dealing with these logistics and having to make hard choices. Our venue had a hard limit of 120 people. After family and wedding party (which included, GASP, six kids, all of whom were our nieces and nephews and all in the wedding itself) we were playing with about 60 other guests. We were able to narrow our list of friends, including a handful of colleagues, down to about 50 people, which included married and long-term-partnered friends where the invitation was addressed to both people. Some of these couples had kids, all pretty young (I'd say the older was 8 or 9 at the time, most under age 6). Inviting all the kids in this group, which we would need to do to be fair because none of these kids were in the wedding party and there was no way to choose some kids over others really, would have added about 20 guests to our invite list. I know not all of these people would have brought their kids, but it was hard to know who would have and who wouldn't, so if we did this, that was going to be it for our guest list. Because our venue limit was very firm, we really did not want to overshoot with our invite list by much, especially because we had a good sense of a high positive RSVP likelihood. But here's the thing. That list of 50ish friends also included around 15 people who were single at the time. We also had another 15 or so family members who were single. I have been to enough weddings as a single to feel like it's really valuable and kind to offer single friends the option to bring a plus one to a wedding, if possible. I also felt that any plus one would be much more likely to enjoy this wedding than the vast majority of our friends very young children. So we chose to offer plus ones to all single guests, but not invite anyone's kids (again, except the six nieces and nephews who were automatic invites as they are family and were in the wedding). I have ZERO regrets about this, and in fact know several friends who were grateful for the opportunity to bring a date to the wedding. Our wedding was very fun. If any of our guests showed up to our wedding, saw our six nieces and nephews, and thought "Ugh, rude! If there were going to be kids at this wedding, why didn't MY kids get an invite?" without considering that they were in a category of guests where inviting their kids would also have meant inviting another 13-14 kids and not allowing our single guests to bring dates, I don't honestly have a ton of sympathy. Sorry? I am a parent now and get it's hard to find sitters for events like that. It's a hard time to have a wedding, when you have friends who are parents, who are married, who are single and dating. It's very hard to accommodate everyone. I can envision a different wedding where we prioritized inviting families over plus ones, an that could be a great wedding too. It's not the one we had. If this is really something you still think about YEARS later, regarding weddings of friends who really had no obligation to invite your children to the wedding and where doing so might have been a major logistical challenge, you need to let. it. go. This is just how it is when you host large, catered events at a venue. I don't get how anyone who has ever had their own wedding wouldn't get this and just be understanding. |
Anonymous
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I was under the impression that you don’t bring anyone who isn’t on the invitation.
Example: Mr. & Mrs. =2 Example: The Blank Family =4 |
Anonymous
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"I arrived to a wedding and was told by an usher not to sit in the front row, even thought I prefer it and can see best from there. But then the bride and groom's families were sitting in the front row!"
"The bride and groom had a small cake to cut for tradition, and then pre-cut sheet cake slices for the rest of the guests. I wanted a piece of the smaller, nicer cake but only members of the wedding party got a piece!" This is how you sound. |
Anonymous
| I was always relieved to receive a no kids invitation. It meant I could decline without remorse or guilt! |
Anonymous
Love it! |
Anonymous
So? These kids are in the wedding party and obviously very close to the bride and groom. Why weren't your very well behaved kids even asked? That will tell you why some very few kids were allowed and yours weren't. |
Anonymous
Sure, sure, so then Kim and Debbie call the bride to ask if they can bring their kids. The bride says no. Kim and Debbie show up to the wedding and there are kids there. HOW IS THAT ANY BETTER? You're the one being obtuse. You're acting like there's some way to do this that won't offend the snowflakes who can't fathom that their children wouldn't be invited to a wedding. I have two kids. I could not care less whether or not they were invited to a wedding. If they were invited, great. If not, great. You people are so selfish and self-absorbed, it's really quite a sight to behold. |