No kids wedding...except there were kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

Not a problem to find a sitter for an in-town wedding. It is out-of-town weddings that are a challenge. And if you are able to have family stay with your kids or your kid will do fine with a random stranger in a hotel, then consider yourself fortunate.

You aren't required to go to the wedding. If it doesn't work then just don't go. The wedding is not planned around your convenience. The bride and groom are planning the wedding they want, if it's a destination wedding then they know some people won't go and they are likely just inviting them out of obligation. Same for people who have to travel a long way. Unless it's immediate family just send regrets. Easy peasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

It is a hassle to find a sitter to come up a hotel in a town you have never been to before.

If you are unable to figure out a way to go to a wedding without bringing your kids, who are not invited, you can’t go. If the the bride is your bff and really really wants you there and you’ve explained this to her but she still doesn’t want your kids there it sounds like she’d prefer to have the whole family decline than invite the kids. So decline.

Or I can get a sitter and expect a parenting message board to recognize that it’s kind of a hassle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this issue here was transparency. If you say you are having a kid free wedding, that is what guests expect. And when they have gone out of their way to accommodate that and then find out that you made an exception for 10 kids, they will be annoyed. The bride and groom decide who to invite, but if my kids aren’t invited and other people’s are, I will decline if it is a hassle for me to attend without my kids. Clearly, in that scenario, the bride and groom value other people more than me (as is their right), so I get to decide how much inconvenience I am willing to put up with for them.

Bottom line, don’t lie to your guests to get them to come to your wedding.

My husband and I were recently invited to a wedding; my children were not. It never occurred to me to wonder or ask whether any other kids would be there. When I arrived, I didn’t sniff around to find out if that 6yo eating cake at Table 3 was the bride’s niece/the child of the sister in the wedding party. Know why? Because I was at Table 4, enjoying my own damn cake.

What is wrong with you people, honestly? Sometimes, DH and I attend wedding and have my parents stay with our kids. In some cases, the one of us directly connected to the bride or groom attends the wedding, and the other one of us stays home with the kids. If our kids are invited, great! If not, fine. An invitation is not a summons, and so we know if attending would be a hardship, we decline. Or one of us goes. Or both of us go and we eat cake and have hotel sex.

Honestly, again, what is wrong with you hall monitor types?

Oh come on. The OP didn’t have half the resources you do, yet she still went, brought her husband, and got a babysitter for her child. She’s not even going to get to have hotel sex because the kid is going to be there. What else do you want her to do?

NP Exactly what she did. Not sure why she is complaining about it though. Sometimes you have to get a sitter and you can’t bring your kids along with you everywhere, it’s petty of her to be complaining that family (including kids) were present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

It is a hassle to find a sitter to come up a hotel in a town you have never been to before.

So don't go. It's not that hard.

Wow. Is it really so hard to just tell your sister or your friend or whoever you invited to your wedding, “Thanks for making it work.”

If you've been complaining about what a huge challenge and ordeal it is, then, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

It is a hassle to find a sitter to come up a hotel in a town you have never been to before.

If you are unable to figure out a way to go to a wedding without bringing your kids, who are not invited, you can’t go. If the the bride is your bff and really really wants you there and you’ve explained this to her but she still doesn’t want your kids there it sounds like she’d prefer to have the whole family decline than invite the kids. So decline.

Or I can get a sitter and expect a parenting message board to recognize that it’s kind of a hassle.

Yes, sometimes traveling and booking a sitter can be annoying but people do it all the time. Let it go, let it go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

It is a hassle to find a sitter to come up a hotel in a town you have never been to before.

If you are unable to figure out a way to go to a wedding without bringing your kids, who are not invited, you can’t go. If the the bride is your bff and really really wants you there and you’ve explained this to her but she still doesn’t want your kids there it sounds like she’d prefer to have the whole family decline than invite the kids. So decline.

Or I can get a sitter and expect a parenting message board to recognize that it’s kind of a hassle.

I'm a parent and don't consider it to be a huge hassle to sometimes need a sitter. You're barking up the wrong tree. Lots of things are a hassle when you have kids. Are you a new parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

Not a problem to find a sitter for an in-town wedding. It is out-of-town weddings that are a challenge. And if you are able to have family stay with your kids or your kid will do fine with a random stranger in a hotel, then consider yourself fortunate.

You aren't required to go to the wedding. If it doesn't work then just don't go. The wedding is not planned around your convenience. The bride and groom are planning the wedding they want, if it's a destination wedding then they know some people won't go and they are likely just inviting them out of obligation. Same for people who have to travel a long way. Unless it's immediate family just send regrets. Easy peasy.

People are actually not this rational and get really weird about their expectations of others on their wedding day. I had a friend who expected her grandmother to wheel her wheelchair a mile out into the woods for a ceremony. It is really not the case that if the bride makes attending difficult, then she is okay with you not coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

Not a problem to find a sitter for an in-town wedding. It is out-of-town weddings that are a challenge. And if you are able to have family stay with your kids or your kid will do fine with a random stranger in a hotel, then consider yourself fortunate.

You aren't required to go to the wedding. If it doesn't work then just don't go. The wedding is not planned around your convenience. The bride and groom are planning the wedding they want, if it's a destination wedding then they know some people won't go and they are likely just inviting them out of obligation. Same for people who have to travel a long way. Unless it's immediate family just send regrets. Easy peasy.

And how hard is it for the bride/groom to say - we are limiting kids to those in the wedding party and/or immediate family rather than lying and saying it is a kid-free wedding when it isn't? That was the OP's problem. Not that her kids weren't invited but that she was lied to. And clearly some people don't care at all about that, but other people do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

Not a problem to find a sitter for an in-town wedding. It is out-of-town weddings that are a challenge. And if you are able to have family stay with your kids or your kid will do fine with a random stranger in a hotel, then consider yourself fortunate.

THEN LEAVE YOUR KIDS AT HOME WITH A SITTER, or a neighbor, or grandparents, or whomever you trust. And if you can’t find anyone or can’t afford it, the spouse not as directly connected to the bride or groom stays home. Pretty simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

Not a problem to find a sitter for an in-town wedding. It is out-of-town weddings that are a challenge. And if you are able to have family stay with your kids or your kid will do fine with a random stranger in a hotel, then consider yourself fortunate.

You aren't required to go to the wedding. If it doesn't work then just don't go. The wedding is not planned around your convenience. The bride and groom are planning the wedding they want, if it's a destination wedding then they know some people won't go and they are likely just inviting them out of obligation. Same for people who have to travel a long way. Unless it's immediate family just send regrets. Easy peasy.

People are actually not this rational and get really weird about their expectations of others on their wedding day. I had a friend who expected her grandmother to wheel her wheelchair a mile out into the woods for a ceremony. It is really not the case that if the bride makes attending difficult, then she is okay with you not coming.

And I bet a compromise or exception was made for a dear grandmother in a way an accommodation would not be made for dozens of children the bride and groom barely know because it's too hard to book a sitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

Not a problem to find a sitter for an in-town wedding. It is out-of-town weddings that are a challenge. And if you are able to have family stay with your kids or your kid will do fine with a random stranger in a hotel, then consider yourself fortunate.

You aren't required to go to the wedding. If it doesn't work then just don't go. The wedding is not planned around your convenience. The bride and groom are planning the wedding they want, if it's a destination wedding then they know some people won't go and they are likely just inviting them out of obligation. Same for people who have to travel a long way. Unless it's immediate family just send regrets. Easy peasy.

People are actually not this rational and get really weird about their expectations of others on their wedding day. I had a friend who expected her grandmother to wheel her wheelchair a mile out into the woods for a ceremony. It is really not the case that if the bride makes attending difficult, then she is okay with you not coming.

Well…yes. If you can’t conveniently attend, do not attend. And maybe the bride and groom won’t care, or maybe they will. And if they are disappointed…that’s…that’s OK, too. What, you’re going to die of expectation and disappointment? Or conversely you’re going to die because the bride and/or groom don’t deeply care whether you check “yes” or “sends regrets” on the reply card?

[Anonymous]

This thread is ridiculous. Your kids aren’t entitled to an invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

It is a hassle to find a sitter to come up a hotel in a town you have never been to before.

If you are unable to figure out a way to go to a wedding without bringing your kids, who are not invited, you can’t go. If the the bride is your bff and really really wants you there and you’ve explained this to her but she still doesn’t want your kids there it sounds like she’d prefer to have the whole family decline than invite the kids. So decline.

Or I can get a sitter and expect a parenting message board to recognize that it’s kind of a hassle.

Yes, sometimes traveling and booking a sitter can be annoying but people do it all the time. Let it go, let it go

Really? Is it that common for people to travel to an unfamiliar city and then hire a babysitter for their kids? I would never have done that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

It is a hassle to find a sitter to come up a hotel in a town you have never been to before.

If you are unable to figure out a way to go to a wedding without bringing your kids, who are not invited, you can’t go. If the the bride is your bff and really really wants you there and you’ve explained this to her but she still doesn’t want your kids there it sounds like she’d prefer to have the whole family decline than invite the kids. So decline.

Or I can get a sitter and expect a parenting message board to recognize that it’s kind of a hassle.

I'm a parent and don't consider it to be a huge hassle to sometimes need a sitter. You're barking up the wrong tree. Lots of things are a hassle when you have kids. Are you a new parent?

No. My oldest child is 12.
I just had to get a sitter yesterday when I was called into work because someone had Covid. I needed someone from 3:30pm-2am. So probably wedding hours.
I had to go a dozen people into my list before I found someone who could do it. I’m surprised that you have never had an issue with childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't get is...you guys want to bring your kids to a wedding? I'd rather have a night to just enjoy myself with DH while my kid is happy at home (or even in a hotel room) with a sitter. I don't want to be wrangling my kid the whole time.

+1

Neither do the parents - they just want their snowflake to run around, cause chaos and do WTH they want, bride and groom be damned. It's the snowflakes day after all, don't you know?!

Dammit it's just so hard to find a sitter. What a hassle. I have to pick up my phone and text someone to ask if they are available. It's like the bride and groom don't value me at all. The real kicker is when I can't bring the dog. What will Muffin do for the 6 hours I'm away? If I see the bride's dog there I'm going to stomp out in a fury and take my toaster with me.

Not a problem to find a sitter for an in-town wedding. It is out-of-town weddings that are a challenge. And if you are able to have family stay with your kids or your kid will do fine with a random stranger in a hotel, then consider yourself fortunate.

You aren't required to go to the wedding. If it doesn't work then just don't go. The wedding is not planned around your convenience. The bride and groom are planning the wedding they want, if it's a destination wedding then they know some people won't go and they are likely just inviting them out of obligation. Same for people who have to travel a long way. Unless it's immediate family just send regrets. Easy peasy.

And how hard is it for the bride/groom to say - we are limiting kids to those in the wedding party and/or immediate family rather than lying and saying it is a kid-free wedding when it isn't? That was the OP's problem. Not that her kids weren't invited but that she was lied to. And clearly some people don't care at all about that, but other people do.

So when exactly, and how was it DECLARED that this would be a kid-free wedding? Was it printed on the invitation? Did the bride and groom make a public press conference? Did they sign their names in blood to a proclamation and nail it to the church door?

Gee gosh golly if they change their mind and serve cupcakes after they told you they were serving a traditional cake for dessert, are you going to sue the lying liars?