Spouse Wants to Send DD to a Camp that Costs an Entire Month's Take Home Pay

[Anonymous]

My kids did sleep away camp in WV last year with some local friends and didn't love it. Lots of homesickness and underwhelmed by some of the teen staff (one of whom was caught recording kids in his high school bathroom this past year, so yeah . . .). So no sleep away camp this year. This week they are doing day camp out where our second home is. We would support them if they wanted to go to sleepaway camp but we're a pretty close knit family and we don't like being away from each other. (My 10 year slept over grandma's house recently and sent me a bunch of messages in the middle of the night crying about how she felt the same "gloominess" she did at camp.)

For some reason my husband is super into signing our kids up for camps even though he wasn't a big camp kid growing up (didn't have the financial resources we do). He has found most of the camps they've gone to. But he wouldn't sign them up without telling me . . . that's odd. Just as I wouldn't sign them up for something that affects our summer plans without telling him. We tend to have pretty full summers with one or two trips to my family beach house, trips to our second home, a week of camp here or there . . . We don't really have the time or appetite for a long sleepaway camp.

I grew up Protestant in a Jewish neighborhood and most of my friends went to sleepaway camp for 4 or 8 weeks, so it depends on your area and culture obviously. We choose to spend our extra money on our second home and vacations versus private school, so I can't speak to what the private school crowd does.

[Anonymous]

I splurged on camp for an older child (teen) to help her explore a career interest—because soon she would be choosing a college major.

I would not do this for a young child, who should be just as content at any camp with a pool, ice cream and s’mores around the campfire.

(Don’t fall for slick marketing, or worse yet, feeling like you have to keep up with other families somehow.)

[Anonymous]

You and your wife need to have a talk about communication and partnership. No one should be spending that much without some mutual decision-making.

[Anonymous]

I am sure these camps can be great, but so can a villa in Tuscany. The question is can they afford it? Is it a wise budget choice?

When my kid was little, we talked a lot about needs vs wants , as well as value. You two should model responsible spending (vs being dazzled by brand names/marketing/keeping up with the Jones).

[Anonymous]

Your spouse is not I touch with reality.

[Anonymous]

We send our kids to a great camp. It’s a bit of a stretch, and it’s instead of a big family trip somewhere. DH and I typically take a stay-cation while they are gone and have a lot of sex and fancy dinners and binge-watch MA television shows. I honestly think everyone is happier with this set-up.

That being said, I wouldn’t spend 10% of my HHI on summer camp for one kid.
If the camp is $7k, and you make $70k, then you can’t afford it. If the camp is $30k, and you make $300k, then the camp is much too expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These camps are the best. My kids are in public school but their 4 weeks (8 weeks for the older!) at a camp in Maine, while $$$$, is the best choice we ever made. It was the same for me when I was younger, and camp created so many opportunities and connections that I still have today.

Like what? Opportunities and connections, I mean…

In terms of concrete opportunities -- and granted I stayed all the way through counselor years -- I know many, many camp friends for whom (1) they were connected with a prominent family or board member of a college that led to a helpful recommendation/call (this was the 2000s when that was OK); (2) got their first internships and/or then their first jobs through a camp connection (similar to what may happen in a private high school, but I found it MORE helpful because sophomore/junior/senior year when going through this you are still seeing the camp friends regularly); (3) camp friends were their social "in" and who they lived with when we all moved to big cities after college (NYC, SF, DC). With (3), it was nice because the camp connection is there, but you get exposed to each other's entirely separate friend/college groups. Then of the 5 or so "connections" my husband and I had when we met in our 30s, two are camp friends. And camp people are who I contacted (over my college friends) in my 20s/30s when I wanted to travel, because they tend to be more worldly and adventurous and prioritize new and uncomfortable experiences (and it would be wrong not to admit they also have the resources).

But in a larger sense, it is a crazy confidence builder. Particularly working as a counselor and having a lot of responsibility and direct reports as a 16-20 year old, it's really fantastic experience. I'm in my 40s in finance now, and when I lead meetings, have brainstorming sessions, deal with personnel matters, etc., I always think about how 12+ years of camper/counselor skills molded me so much more than my formal schooling.

I think ZI know that camp.

Dids it produce two DOJ prosecutors that have adecent shot at being AG or AAG?

For those that didn't go to camp, where did you learn to:

canoe
water ski
sail
swim
shoot archery
make a fire
pitch a tent
tie dye
cook foil packets
row a rowboat
fish
crab

and on and on.

+1 to sending her. Let her live outside for a few weeks this summer. Let her sleep under the stars, chase lightning bugs, eat in the mess hall, play in the lake and be carefree with friends. Leave the digital world behind.

Shit, the last two years was so hard on all of us. This might energize her to become some scientist that discovers a cure for pandemics....

For the bolded items, my answer is Girl Scouts. Not even Girl Scout camp, just plain old girl scouts.

Sorry your parents paid thousands of dollars for you to get crabs at camp, PP. That sucks.