Spouse Wants to Send DD to a Camp that Costs an Entire Month's Take Home Pay

[Anonymous]

Some people here claim those camps are "life changing expierences". Such an nonsense! They will be fun but spending a few weeks away from home with the same socio-economic group as they have at home in a well protected 24-hour camp offering accommodation and fitting is not "life changing".

[Anonymous]

LOL to the people claiming "just take away the screens".

You are horrible parents. You are a dinosaur. Screens are everything and everywhere. They aren't just for games. Half my 8th graders coursework is on a lap top. He doesn't have a single textbook.

Seriously- are you typing this from 1971 Iowa?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These camps are the best. My kids are in public school but their 4 weeks (8 weeks for the older!) at a camp in Maine, while $$$$, is the best choice we ever made. It was the same for me when I was younger, and camp created so many opportunities and connections that I still have today.

Like what? Opportunities and connections, I mean…

In terms of concrete opportunities -- and granted I stayed all the way through counselor years -- I know many, many camp friends for whom (1) they were connected with a prominent family or board member of a college that led to a helpful recommendation/call (this was the 2000s when that was OK); (2) got their first internships and/or then their first jobs through a camp connection (similar to what may happen in a private high school, but I found it MORE helpful because sophomore/junior/senior year when going through this you are still seeing the camp friends regularly); (3) camp friends were their social "in" and who they lived with when we all moved to big cities after college (NYC, SF, DC). With (3), it was nice because the camp connection is there, but you get exposed to each other's entirely separate friend/college groups. Then of the 5 or so "connections" my husband and I had when we met in our 30s, two are camp friends. And camp people are who I contacted (over my college friends) in my 20s/30s when I wanted to travel, because they tend to be more worldly and adventurous and prioritize new and uncomfortable experiences (and it would be wrong not to admit they also have the resources).

But in a larger sense, it is a crazy confidence builder. Particularly working as a counselor and having a lot of responsibility and direct reports as a 16-20 year old, it's really fantastic experience. I'm in my 40s in finance now, and when I lead meetings, have brainstorming sessions, deal with personnel matters, etc., I always think about how 12+ years of camper/counselor skills molded me so much more than my formal schooling.

I think ZI know that camp.

Dids it produce two DOJ prosecutors that have adecent shot at being AG or AAG?

For those that didn't go to camp, where did you learn to:

canoe
water ski
sail
swim
shoot archery and rifles
make a fire
pitch a tent
tie dye
cook foil packets
row a rowboat
fish
crab

and on and on.

+1 to sending her. Let her live outside for a few weeks this summer. Let her sleep under the stars, chase lightning bugs, eat in the mess hall, play in the lake and be carefree with friends. Leave the digital world behind.

Shit, the last two years was so hard on all of us. This might energize her to become some scientist that discovers a cure for pandemics....

Most people learn how do these things with their families or though scouts. I would be curious if summer camp would be just as "transformative" for a kid who already does these things as it would be for a kid whose family never leaves the city.

The people who go to camp have parents who are too busy to spend the summer with them. I knew them at school — most raised by nannies.

This sounds about right!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes- it's one of those fancy NE camps with obscene costs. Which is also off putting because we aren't fancy or northern.

DD isn't special needs at all and is extremely outgoing/social who would do just fine at a 2 week overnight YMCA camp for $2500

If your concern is partly that the kids and families will be fancy, don't worry about that. There might be some, but there are a lot of families that prioritize camp to an extreme degree and/or the grandparents pay. Plus it's hard to really swan around fancily when you are living out of a trunk in a cabin.

+1. I sent my DC to Camp Expensive Sleepaway (a Y camp) in the South. His uncles went and loved it. The first thing my brothers asked when I gave birth was whether we should put DC’s name on Camp’s waiting list. By the time DC started at age 7, my circumstances had changed substantially, and I was a poor, single mom counting every penny. DC only went to camp through the grace of family help.

Some kids come from foreign countries. One kid arrived by helicopter to the camp lawn. In the long string of cars at camp, there are plenty of high end Range Rovers or SUVs. We arrive in a 10 yo sedan. We are not the only ones by any means.

I have never had one person - staffer or counselor other camper or camper’s family - treat us with any less respect. And, as PP says, when every boy is running around in a swim suit and tshirt and eating together at a camp dining table, it’s hard to use any wealth privilege (beyond the privilege of being there in the first place).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL to the people claiming "just take away the screens".

You are horrible parents. You are a dinosaur. Screens are everything and everywhere. They aren't just for games. Half my 8th graders coursework is on a lap top. He doesn't have a single textbook.

Seriously- are you typing this from 1971 Iowa?

If you have the resources for camp you have the resources for a fancy school. Your kid could be without screens if you wanted. Anyway, these parents are talking about means of socialization… social media and video games. That stuff is 100% optional and they could be doing other stuff all year long.

[Anonymous]

I never did more than a week of camp, and only for a couple years, but I married into a Camp Family. All the kids did eight weeks starting at like 10-12, in the woods in Maine, very expensive, lots of outdoors time, etc. We don't have $10,000 for the summer so we probably won't be doing it when the time comes, but it's possible a relative will pay to keep the tradition alive.

Personally, I see the benefits even if the price is crazy enough that I wouldn't do it personally (it's more than a months worth of income for us). We do lots of outdoors time as a family, but we can't do seven weeks of constant outdoors time. I can (and do) teach my daughter to pitch a tent or canoe, but I can't really give the experience of spending a whole summer working on those skills away from family. It's not an essential part of a happy childhood, but I see the value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL to the people claiming "just take away the screens".

You are horrible parents. You are a dinosaur. Screens are everything and everywhere. They aren't just for games. Half my 8th graders coursework is on a lap top. He doesn't have a single textbook.

Seriously- are you typing this from 1971 Iowa?

Try 2022 DMV. Screens aren’t everywhere for our kids. They have limited screen time. They want to be outdoors, play with friends, read… they love exploring nature and don’t need camp to learn how to do those things. It’s just called having a normal childhood.

[Anonymous]

If a three week camp for one kid is an entire month’s take home pay, then you can’t afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people here claim those camps are "life changing expierences". Such an nonsense! They will be fun but spending a few weeks away from home with the same socio-economic group as they have at home in a well protected 24-hour camp offering accommodation and fitting is not "life changing".

This right here. I've had prior conversations with friends about the "life changing experiences" of camp, or how camp girls turn out to be successful, resourceful, independent girls. My response is that the summer camp cohort are usually white, wealthy kids from affluent areas, who grow up with not only expensive summer camps but all the benefits that family wealth affords (private school, education, fully funded college, family vacations, tutors, etc.). The default setting for these kids is success. Summer camp is not what pushes them over the finish line. If you can afford summer camp, great, but you shouldn't sacrifice anything to pay for summer camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These camps are the best. My kids are in public school but their 4 weeks (8 weeks for the older!) at a camp in Maine, while $$$$, is the best choice we ever made. It was the same for me when I was younger, and camp created so many opportunities and connections that I still have today.

Like what? Opportunities and connections, I mean…

In terms of concrete opportunities -- and granted I stayed all the way through counselor years -- I know many, many camp friends for whom (1) they were connected with a prominent family or board member of a college that led to a helpful recommendation/call (this was the 2000s when that was OK); (2) got their first internships and/or then their first jobs through a camp connection (similar to what may happen in a private high school, but I found it MORE helpful because sophomore/junior/senior year when going through this you are still seeing the camp friends regularly); (3) camp friends were their social "in" and who they lived with when we all moved to big cities after college (NYC, SF, DC). With (3), it was nice because the camp connection is there, but you get exposed to each other's entirely separate friend/college groups. Then of the 5 or so "connections" my husband and I had when we met in our 30s, two are camp friends. And camp people are who I contacted (over my college friends) in my 20s/30s when I wanted to travel, because they tend to be more worldly and adventurous and prioritize new and uncomfortable experiences (and it would be wrong not to admit they also have the resources).

But in a larger sense, it is a crazy confidence builder. Particularly working as a counselor and having a lot of responsibility and direct reports as a 16-20 year old, it's really fantastic experience. I'm in my 40s in finance now, and when I lead meetings, have brainstorming sessions, deal with personnel matters, etc., I always think about how 12+ years of camper/counselor skills molded me so much more than my formal schooling.

I think ZI know that camp.

Dids it produce two DOJ prosecutors that have adecent shot at being AG or AAG?

For those that didn't go to camp, where did you learn to:

canoe
water ski
sail
swim
shoot archery and rifles
make a fire
pitch a tent
tie dye
cook foil packets
row a rowboat
fish
crab

and on and on.

+1 to sending her. Let her live outside for a few weeks this summer. Let her sleep under the stars, chase lightning bugs, eat in the mess hall, play in the lake and be carefree with friends. Leave the digital world behind.

Shit, the last two years was so hard on all of us. This might energize her to become some scientist that discovers a cure for pandemics....

Most people learn how do these things with their families or though scouts. I would be curious if summer camp would be just as "transformative" for a kid who already does these things as it would be for a kid whose family never leaves the city.

Hmm..my kids do those things with us. They go to camp for four weeks in the summer, and they have a good time, but I wouldn’t say it’s transformative.

[Anonymous]

NP here, haven't read all the responses.

We send both my kids to one of those camps that is about 4k total for 2 weeks. Each kid. It's a ton of money but I make good money so its doable. Its a great experience for them and it does help foster independence and gets them off screens.

But kids are fine without this. I never went to one, I am fine.

Perhaps this was answered upthread but I assume "spouse" is SAHM DW and you are upset that she doesn't have the concept of how hard you work for the money. That is a whole other dynamic.

[Anonymous]

I’m honestly laughing at the thought that anyone is arguing that “tie-dying” is an important life skill, let alone a signifier of being part of an elite in-group.

[Anonymous]

I hope college is fully funded before all of these 5 figure camps

[Anonymous]

and plenty of nature. I’m very aware that it costs more than camp, trust me. But if you prioritize that for your kids and have the resources then why would camp be the “only” place for these activities.

Wut are you talking about? Where are these mythical screenless schools? Are we talking Amish country?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

and plenty of nature. I’m very aware that it costs more than camp, trust me. But if you prioritize that for your kids and have the resources then why would camp be the “only” place for these activities.

Wut are you talking about? Where are these mythical screenless schools? Are we talking Amish country?

What are you talking about? My kids’ school uses screens for computer class, like if they need to code or keyboard. Like many other independent schools in the area they have the kids outdoors for projects regularly. All these independent schools have campuses with woods, streams, places to do rope courses or whatever. Why would people pay extra money to put their kids on cheap educational apps and YouTube?