I’m starting my late July birthday child (boy) in kindergarten on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

None of that makes any sense at all.

It is perfectly logical. However, in my time here at DCUM I have seen the observation that anti-redshirters can’t do math. You probably can’t figure out the math involved.

NP-See you’ve run out of arguments and discredited yourself with that tired “gotcha.”

It’s true, though. The post is perfectly understandable if you think through the math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

You clearly are on a diff page and are misunderstanding. Kids SIX months older or younger than each other is NORMAL. Kids 12-15 months older and younger in the same grade is not. I really dont care about your experience many moons ago! Im living it out now with my own kid and am allowed to form an opinion on the current system. Like the pp said, due to covid, we dont go into the schools and observe and make a fuss. Chiming in on dcum doesnt mean we discuss it with our kids and other people!

You don’t understand. What I am saying is that I was typically a year to 18 months younger because I moved to a place with a six month cutoff difference. So that is more than what DCUM anti-redshirters complain so loudly about. Kids in my classes were AT LEAST six months older than me, but the vast majority were significantly older than that.

And I think the obsession with their kids relative ages and being the youngest that anti-redshirt DCUM parents seem to have is really unhealthy. These are also the parents that gossip about kids and push teachers to talk about other kids and it’s not good.

You accuse others of gossip while you are trash talking about people. On top of that, there’s no legitimacy of what you are trash talking them about, it’s nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

None of that makes any sense at all.

It is perfectly logical. However, in my time here at DCUM I have seen the observation that anti-redshirters can’t do math. You probably can’t figure out the math involved.

NP-See you’ve run out of arguments and discredited yourself with that tired “gotcha.”

It’s true, though. The post is perfectly understandable if you think through the math.

Bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

This is not hard math to figure out. Example:

Dec. 30th birthday. Starts school in a school with a Dec. 31st cutoff. One of the youngest in the class. In later years moves to a school with a June 1 cutoff. Kid is now around six months younger than the previous youngest in the class and is mostly in class with kids a year to 18 months older.

Math lesson over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

You clearly are on a diff page and are misunderstanding. Kids SIX months older or younger than each other is NORMAL. Kids 12-15 months older and younger in the same grade is not. I really dont care about your experience many moons ago! Im living it out now with my own kid and am allowed to form an opinion on the current system. Like the pp said, due to covid, we dont go into the schools and observe and make a fuss. Chiming in on dcum doesnt mean we discuss it with our kids and other people!

You don’t understand. What I am saying is that I was typically a year to 18 months younger because I moved to a place with a six month cutoff difference. So that is more than what DCUM anti-redshirters complain so loudly about. Kids in my classes were AT LEAST six months older than me, but the vast majority were significantly older than that.

And I think the obsession with their kids relative ages and being the youngest that anti-redshirt DCUM parents seem to have is really unhealthy. These are also the parents that gossip about kids and push teachers to talk about other kids and it’s not good.

You accuse others of gossip while you are trash talking about people. On top of that, there’s no legitimacy of what you are trash talking them about, it’s nonsense.

I suspect the real issue is that I have correctly identified you as one of the parents who is very weird about how their kid is the youngest, and acts that way, so you are lashing out defensively.

I know your type well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not hard math to figure out. Example:

Dec. 30th birthday. Starts school in a school with a Dec. 31st cutoff. One of the youngest in the class. In later years moves to a school with a June 1 cutoff. Kid is now around six months younger than the previous youngest in the class and is mostly in class with kids a year to 18 months older.

Math lesson over.

There’s only one, maybe 2 states with Dec cut-off date. Your theory doesn’t work n

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

You clearly are on a diff page and are misunderstanding. Kids SIX months older or younger than each other is NORMAL. Kids 12-15 months older and younger in the same grade is not. I really dont care about your experience many moons ago! Im living it out now with my own kid and am allowed to form an opinion on the current system. Like the pp said, due to covid, we dont go into the schools and observe and make a fuss. Chiming in on dcum doesnt mean we discuss it with our kids and other people!

You don’t understand. What I am saying is that I was typically a year to 18 months younger because I moved to a place with a six month cutoff difference. So that is more than what DCUM anti-redshirters complain so loudly about. Kids in my classes were AT LEAST six months older than me, but the vast majority were significantly older than that.

And I think the obsession with their kids relative ages and being the youngest that anti-redshirt DCUM parents seem to have is really unhealthy. These are also the parents that gossip about kids and push teachers to talk about other kids and it’s not good.

You accuse others of gossip while you are trash talking about people. On top of that, there’s no legitimacy of what you are trash talking them about, it’s nonsense.

I suspect the real issue is that I have correctly identified you as one of the parents who is very weird about how their kid is the youngest, and acts that way, so you are lashing out defensively.

I know your type well.

Projecting much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

THIS. You hit the nail on the head. It's less about their actual age, it's more about the gap. If everyone feels 5 is too young for kindergarten, fine, make kindergarten start at 6. But I really feel like kids in the same grade should be close in age. There's a kid that 16+ months older than my kid ... that's just... odd.

And for the person saying they don't believe that I don't mention her age much at all after "closely observing the class"... I've had very few opportunities to closely observe the class due to Covid. We just recently were able to go into her school this year and I wasn't once allowed into the building last year. I honestly, don't know how she compares academically to her classmates. I just know she's bright for her grade (notice I didn't say age). I'm sure there are smarter kids in her class. I'd expect that even if she was the oldest - there's always someone smarter. The closest I've gotten to "closely observing the class" is at playdates/parties with a select group of kids. Socially/emotionally/behaviorally, I can't tell a difference, so I have no need to point out that she's the youngest. Honestly, I'd feel bad doing so, because one of her best friends is over a year older than her and I don't like to point out that disparity. It's not like I need to make excuses for her being behind in any way due to her age, because she's not. She's right where she needs to be and I can assure you the kids don't care, so why should I? I actually think she'd struggle more socially being a grade behind, because the kids with behavior issues/kids that are less mature drive her bonkers. That's just her personality.

Yes, its not about age at this point. It is about the gap, the disparity, within the grade.

I disagree. My birthday was the week of the cutoff and I was the valedictorian of my class. My kid is a late July BD in 2nd grade and has 3 kids I know of who are 12-14 months older than him in his class. Those kids were held back for a reason and they are not leading the class. I coach an after school activity and the red shirted kids are not rockstars, they are on level maturity wise and probably would have struggled if they went on time. Parents know their kids. My kid needed to go on time and is fine being “young”. Other kids need the gift of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

You clearly are on a diff page and are misunderstanding. Kids SIX months older or younger than each other is NORMAL. Kids 12-15 months older and younger in the same grade is not. I really dont care about your experience many moons ago! Im living it out now with my own kid and am allowed to form an opinion on the current system. Like the pp said, due to covid, we dont go into the schools and observe and make a fuss. Chiming in on dcum doesnt mean we discuss it with our kids and other people!

You don’t understand. What I am saying is that I was typically a year to 18 months younger because I moved to a place with a six month cutoff difference. So that is more than what DCUM anti-redshirters complain so loudly about. Kids in my classes were AT LEAST six months older than me, but the vast majority were significantly older than that.

And I think the obsession with their kids relative ages and being the youngest that anti-redshirt DCUM parents seem to have is really unhealthy. These are also the parents that gossip about kids and push teachers to talk about other kids and it’s not good.

You accuse others of gossip while you are trash talking about people. On top of that, there’s no legitimacy of what you are trash talking them about, it’s nonsense.

I suspect the real issue is that I have correctly identified you as one of the parents who is very weird about how their kid is the youngest, and acts that way, so you are lashing out defensively.

I know your type well.

NP
You are inadvertently making yourself look bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

You clearly are on a diff page and are misunderstanding. Kids SIX months older or younger than each other is NORMAL. Kids 12-15 months older and younger in the same grade is not. I really dont care about your experience many moons ago! Im living it out now with my own kid and am allowed to form an opinion on the current system. Like the pp said, due to covid, we dont go into the schools and observe and make a fuss. Chiming in on dcum doesnt mean we discuss it with our kids and other people!

You don’t understand. What I am saying is that I was typically a year to 18 months younger because I moved to a place with a six month cutoff difference. So that is more than what DCUM anti-redshirters complain so loudly about. Kids in my classes were AT LEAST six months older than me, but the vast majority were significantly older than that.

And I think the obsession with their kids relative ages and being the youngest that anti-redshirt DCUM parents seem to have is really unhealthy. These are also the parents that gossip about kids and push teachers to talk about other kids and it’s not good. [/quote


There is a difference between being obsessed and responding to a post on a forum. You seem more obsessed/fired up than anyone. And once again those of us commenting here are not focusing on our kids being youngest but are noting the discrepency and age gap within the younger grades of the current time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

Yes agree but there are SOME kids who may fall thru the cracks being so much younger than their peers, as I have witnessed firsthand in my own town. Every situation is going to be unique and different for each kid. And once again, you being the youngest in your class many many years ago doesnt have to do with this conversation about kids being 12-15 months younger now in 2022.
I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

THIS. You hit the nail on the head. It's less about their actual age, it's more about the gap. If everyone feels 5 is too young for kindergarten, fine, make kindergarten start at 6. But I really feel like kids in the same grade should be close in age. There's a kid that 16+ months older than my kid ... that's just... odd.

And for the person saying they don't believe that I don't mention her age much at all after "closely observing the class"... I've had very few opportunities to closely observe the class due to Covid. We just recently were able to go into her school this year and I wasn't once allowed into the building last year. I honestly, don't know how she compares academically to her classmates. I just know she's bright for her grade (notice I didn't say age). I'm sure there are smarter kids in her class. I'd expect that even if she was the oldest - there's always someone smarter. The closest I've gotten to "closely observing the class" is at playdates/parties with a select group of kids. Socially/emotionally/behaviorally, I can't tell a difference, so I have no need to point out that she's the youngest. Honestly, I'd feel bad doing so, because one of her best friends is over a year older than her and I don't like to point out that disparity. It's not like I need to make excuses for her being behind in any way due to her age, because she's not. She's right where she needs to be and I can assure you the kids don't care, so why should I? I actually think she'd struggle more socially being a grade behind, because the kids with behavior issues/kids that are less mature drive her bonkers. That's just her personality.

Yes, its not about age at this point. It is about the gap, the disparity, within the grade.

I disagree. My birthday was the week of the cutoff and I was the valedictorian of my class. My kid is a late July BD in 2nd grade and has 3 kids I know of who are 12-14 months older than him in his class. Those kids were held back for a reason and they are not leading the class. I coach an after school activity and the red shirted kids are not rockstars, they are on level maturity wise and probably would have struggled if they went on time. Parents know their kids. My kid needed to go on time and is fine being “young”. Other kids need the gift of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

THIS. You hit the nail on the head. It's less about their actual age, it's more about the gap. If everyone feels 5 is too young for kindergarten, fine, make kindergarten start at 6. But I really feel like kids in the same grade should be close in age. There's a kid that 16+ months older than my kid ... that's just... odd.

And for the person saying they don't believe that I don't mention her age much at all after "closely observing the class"... I've had very few opportunities to closely observe the class due to Covid. We just recently were able to go into her school this year and I wasn't once allowed into the building last year. I honestly, don't know how she compares academically to her classmates. I just know she's bright for her grade (notice I didn't say age). I'm sure there are smarter kids in her class. I'd expect that even if she was the oldest - there's always someone smarter. The closest I've gotten to "closely observing the class" is at playdates/parties with a select group of kids. Socially/emotionally/behaviorally, I can't tell a difference, so I have no need to point out that she's the youngest. Honestly, I'd feel bad doing so, because one of her best friends is over a year older than her and I don't like to point out that disparity. It's not like I need to make excuses for her being behind in any way due to her age, because she's not. She's right where she needs to be and I can assure you the kids don't care, so why should I? I actually think she'd struggle more socially being a grade behind, because the kids with behavior issues/kids that are less mature drive her bonkers. That's just her personality.

Yes, its not about age at this point. It is about the gap, the disparity, within the grade.

I disagree. My birthday was the week of the cutoff and I was the valedictorian of my class. My kid is a late July BD in 2nd grade and has 3 kids I know of who are 12-14 months older than him in his class. Those kids were held back for a reason and they are not leading the class. I coach an after school activity and the red shirted kids are not rockstars, they are on level maturity wise and probably would have struggled if they went on time. Parents know their kids. My kid needed to go on time and is fine being “young”. Other kids need the gift of time.

I know plenty of redshirted kids who are leading the class. My neighbor has an April birthday and redshirted because he was short and guess what he still is. Another one has a February birthday and the mom said she redshirted him because older brother with summer birthday was redshirted. Another bragged that he scored highest on MAP test than classmates. Severe developmental delays need the gift of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

THIS. You hit the nail on the head. It's less about their actual age, it's more about the gap. If everyone feels 5 is too young for kindergarten, fine, make kindergarten start at 6. But I really feel like kids in the same grade should be close in age. There's a kid that 16+ months older than my kid ... that's just... odd.

And for the person saying they don't believe that I don't mention her age much at all after "closely observing the class"... I've had very few opportunities to closely observe the class due to Covid. We just recently were able to go into her school this year and I wasn't once allowed into the building last year. I honestly, don't know how she compares academically to her classmates. I just know she's bright for her grade (notice I didn't say age). I'm sure there are smarter kids in her class. I'd expect that even if she was the oldest - there's always someone smarter. The closest I've gotten to "closely observing the class" is at playdates/parties with a select group of kids. Socially/emotionally/behaviorally, I can't tell a difference, so I have no need to point out that she's the youngest. Honestly, I'd feel bad doing so, because one of her best friends is over a year older than her and I don't like to point out that disparity. It's not like I need to make excuses for her being behind in any way due to her age, because she's not. She's right where she needs to be and I can assure you the kids don't care, so why should I? I actually think she'd struggle more socially being a grade behind, because the kids with behavior issues/kids that are less mature drive her bonkers. That's just her personality.

Having started kindergarten at 4, now 5 is too young?!

I'm the PP you quoted ... I personally don't feel that it is at all. My DD started kindergarten 2 weeks after she turned 5. She was fine. I just was saying that hypothetically. I truly don't get why so many people want their kids to start kindergarten at 6?? I can't imagine my DD starting kindergarten at 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

You clearly are on a diff page and are misunderstanding. Kids SIX months older or younger than each other is NORMAL. Kids 12-15 months older and younger in the same grade is not. I really dont care about your experience many moons ago! Im living it out now with my own kid and am allowed to form an opinion on the current system. Like the pp said, due to covid, we dont go into the schools and observe and make a fuss. Chiming in on dcum doesnt mean we discuss it with our kids and other people!

You don’t understand. What I am saying is that I was typically a year to 18 months younger because I moved to a place with a six month cutoff difference. So that is more than what DCUM anti-redshirters complain so loudly about. Kids in my classes were AT LEAST six months older than me, but the vast majority were significantly older than that.

And I think the obsession with their kids relative ages and being the youngest that anti-redshirt DCUM parents seem to have is really unhealthy. These are also the parents that gossip about kids and push teachers to talk about other kids and it’s not good. [/quote


There is a difference between being obsessed and responding to a post on a forum. You seem more obsessed/fired up than anyone. And once again those of us commenting here are not focusing on our kids being youngest but are noting the discrepency and age gap within the younger grades of the current time.

NP. Your accusations of others being obsessing seems you are obsessed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

Someone redshirted a February birthday?? That's insane. I know of one March, several April and Mays and think that's bad enough. June is even questionable.


NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

THIS. You hit the nail on the head. It's less about their actual age, it's more about the gap. If everyone feels 5 is too young for kindergarten, fine, make kindergarten start at 6. But I really feel like kids in the same grade should be close in age. There's a kid that 16+ months older than my kid ... that's just... odd.

And for the person saying they don't believe that I don't mention her age much at all after "closely observing the class"... I've had very few opportunities to closely observe the class due to Covid. We just recently were able to go into her school this year and I wasn't once allowed into the building last year. I honestly, don't know how she compares academically to her classmates. I just know she's bright for her grade (notice I didn't say age). I'm sure there are smarter kids in her class. I'd expect that even if she was the oldest - there's always someone smarter. The closest I've gotten to "closely observing the class" is at playdates/parties with a select group of kids. Socially/emotionally/behaviorally, I can't tell a difference, so I have no need to point out that she's the youngest. Honestly, I'd feel bad doing so, because one of her best friends is over a year older than her and I don't like to point out that disparity. It's not like I need to make excuses for her being behind in any way due to her age, because she's not. She's right where she needs to be and I can assure you the kids don't care, so why should I? I actually think she'd struggle more socially being a grade behind, because the kids with behavior issues/kids that are less mature drive her bonkers. That's just her personality.

Yes, its not about age at this point. It is about the gap, the disparity, within the grade.

I disagree. My birthday was the week of the cutoff and I was the valedictorian of my class. My kid is a late July BD in 2nd grade and has 3 kids I know of who are 12-14 months older than him in his class. Those kids were held back for a reason and they are not leading the class. I coach an after school activity and the red shirted kids are not rockstars, they are on level maturity wise and probably would have struggled if they went on time. Parents know their kids. My kid needed to go on time and is fine being “young”. Other kids need the gift of time.

I know plenty of redshirted kids who are leading the class. My neighbor has an April birthday and redshirted because he was short and guess what he still is. Another one has a February birthday and the mom said she redshirted him because older brother with summer birthday was redshirted. Another bragged that he scored highest on MAP test than classmates. Severe developmental delays need the gift of time.