I’m starting my late July birthday child (boy) in kindergarten on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand this "my kid is bored" bragging. My kids both tested in the gifted range (I don't believe these tests, but they are still used) and I don't think they've ever been bored. Maybe because they attend private school that differentiates learning. Seriously there is the next deeper level to EVERYTHING they are teaching at school. My kids go to that next level.

... and before you criticize they do get 9s on their ERBs, so they are doing well...

I don’t get it either. If my kid was constantly reporting being bored in school, I would look at possible developmental issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Good for you! My DD misses the cut-off and could not start K last year. She was bored out of her mind in pre-K.

Same. I have two kids with summer birthdays who started on time and one with a November birthday who is endlessly bored in her class. The summer birthday kids are absolutely fine. AAP - all honors, well adjusted, top sports teams, etc. I cannot for the life of me understand why any parent would change the trajectory of their kids based on a few months difference in preschool. It makes absolutely no sense. Kids learn and adapt. What parents perceive as a big deal in kindergarten is forgettable by 7th grade. Absent a medical disability or child with special needs, I think this redshirting business is helicopter parenting at its worst. Our friends redshirted their spring birthday kid because his writing wasn't perfect in preschool, a skill he could easily pick up in the summer or over a few days at home. And now he's more than 16 months older than his peers in some cases.

Makes no sense.

A tip: You are going to have a very, very tough row to hoe if you remain this judgmental, uncomprehending, and nosy about the parenting decisions of other people. Also, your own kids will just start keeping a lot of secrets from you when they become teens. My kids are all nearly grown and I’ve seen this pattern in the judgmental parents so many times now.

DP. It's not nosy or uncomprehending at all -- it's a fair assessment. And judgment is okay when someone else's behavior impacts you. Which redshirting does. Parents who redshirt do it to give their kids an advantage. It's designed to game the system to benefit their child. My kid is in that system. So yes, I will judge. This isn't like judging how someone parents in their own home or how they spend money or whatever.

Keep telling yourself that.

Meanwhile your teenagers will distance themselves from you.

If telling yourself that makes you feel better, go for it.

Oh, my kids are almost out of the house. I’m just reporting facts at this point. I realize as a judgmental, uncomprehending, and nosy parent, it makes you defensive to understand what will happen when your kids become teenagers, but perhaps consider that I’ve seen a lot more teenagers than you have.

Nobody with a healthy, non-judgmental parenting outlook cares this much about what other parents do as far as redshirting. Your obsession is betraying how you parent and it will come at a cost to you.

I'm not obsessed with redshirting and don't think I'm the poster you think I am. But the person who sounds insanely judgmental and uncomprehending here is you. You are literally telling people their children will dislike them because of an opinion they hold on a message board about kindergarten start dates. You're escalating this way beyond what is merited and you are the one who comes off as defensive and rude. But I wouldn't presume to know what your relationship with your kids is because I don't know you. See how that works?

Anti-redshirters on DCUM have a history of being bizarrely judgmental. There is a very long history here of appalling posts. Anti-redshirters who report memorizing the class birthday lists and then volunteering in the classroom to spy on kids, anti-redshirters who boast about how they’ve taught their kids to gossip about older kids, etc., and I’m not even listing the totally crazy ones like natural law lady. Maybe you aren’t a crazy judgmental person, but there have been a lot of posts from a lot of DCUM anti-redshirters over the years, enough so that it’s reasonable to extrapolate about how anti-redshirters parent.

Also it’s not dislike. It’s distrust. Teens of judgmental parents don’t trust their parents. If you aren’t judgmental—which, based on DCUM history of anti-redshirters, I’m skeptical of, but let’s say you aren’t — you don’t have to worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A FB mom group I’m in just had a mom advocating to redshirt JANUARY kids … out of control

This isn't redshirting this is hiding them back, which is ok if he has problems keeping up.

Sometimes parents get many, many more problems holding back and/or redshirting their kid than if they would have just sent their kid on time.

[Anonymous]

At my DC's private, one of my DC's K classmates didn't start K on time because of the pandemic (parents didn't send them to school). So that child was effectively held back a year by starting K the next year when schooling was physical again. And they have a first week of September birthday -- they turned 7 on the second day of school.

My kid is so impressed by how big, strong, and "smart" that kid is. That kid is now totally the class leader, etc. because of it. I guess to some parents the illusion that their kid has leadership qualities (and the actual confidence that comes from outshining one's classmate through being older) is really worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my DC's private, one of my DC's K classmates didn't start K on time because of the pandemic (parents didn't send them to school). So that child was effectively held back a year by starting K the next year when schooling was physical again. And they have a first week of September birthday -- they turned 7 on the second day of school.

My kid is so impressed by how big, strong, and "smart" that kid is. That kid is now totally the class leader, etc. because of it. I guess to some parents the illusion that their kid has leadership qualities (and the actual confidence that comes from outshining one's classmate through being older) is really worth it.

And he will reap the rewards of it. While the young for the grade kids seem like theyre always behind (with development in elem school, puberty in middle school, maturity in high school, etc) but theyre really just on time for their age. It is frustrating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my DC's private, one of my DC's K classmates didn't start K on time because of the pandemic (parents didn't send them to school). So that child was effectively held back a year by starting K the next year when schooling was physical again. And they have a first week of September birthday -- they turned 7 on the second day of school.

My kid is so impressed by how big, strong, and "smart" that kid is. That kid is now totally the class leader, etc. because of it. I guess to some parents the illusion that their kid has leadership qualities (and the actual confidence that comes from outshining one's classmate through being older) is really worth it.

And he will reap the rewards of it. While the young for the grade kids seem like theyre always behind (with development in elem school, puberty in middle school, maturity in high school, etc) but theyre really just on time for their age. It is frustrating.

That might just be your experience or assumption. Most of these threads are filled with people talking about how their young for grade kids are running circles around everyone else and how bored they would have been if they were held back. I'm not seeing all the failure you are presuming awaits these kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my DC's private, one of my DC's K classmates didn't start K on time because of the pandemic (parents didn't send them to school). So that child was effectively held back a year by starting K the next year when schooling was physical again. And they have a first week of September birthday -- they turned 7 on the second day of school.

My kid is so impressed by how big, strong, and "smart" that kid is. That kid is now totally the class leader, etc. because of it. I guess to some parents the illusion that their kid has leadership qualities (and the actual confidence that comes from outshining one's classmate through being older) is really worth it.

And he will reap the rewards of it. While the young for the grade kids seem like theyre always behind (with development in elem school, puberty in middle school, maturity in high school, etc) but theyre really just on time for their age. It is frustrating.

That might just be your experience or assumption. Most of these threads are filled with people talking about how their young for grade kids are running circles around everyone else and how bored they would have been if they were held back. I'm not seeing all the failure you are presuming awaits these kids.

No, I have a youngest in the grade boy who was also the smallest in the entire grade and has ADHD and a highly sensitive personality. I regret not holding him back. It's not that he will be forever harmed, but the reality is that he is not one of those super determined kids hell bent on proving everyone wrong. He has really struggled and middle school was the worst.

[Anonymous]

Starting a late July boy on-time should be entirely uncontroversial (barring a developmental issue)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my DC's private, one of my DC's K classmates didn't start K on time because of the pandemic (parents didn't send them to school). So that child was effectively held back a year by starting K the next year when schooling was physical again. And they have a first week of September birthday -- they turned 7 on the second day of school.

My kid is so impressed by how big, strong, and "smart" that kid is. That kid is now totally the class leader, etc. because of it. I guess to some parents the illusion that their kid has leadership qualities (and the actual confidence that comes from outshining one's classmate through being older) is really worth it.

And he will reap the rewards of it. While the young for the grade kids seem like theyre always behind (with development in elem school, puberty in middle school, maturity in high school, etc) but theyre really just on time for their age. It is frustrating.

That might just be your experience or assumption. Most of these threads are filled with people talking about how their young for grade kids are running circles around everyone else and how bored they would have been if they were held back. I'm not seeing all the failure you are presuming awaits these kids.

No, I have a youngest in the grade boy who was also the smallest in the entire grade and has ADHD and a highly sensitive personality. I regret not holding him back. It's not that he will be forever harmed, but the reality is that he is not one of those super determined kids hell bent on proving everyone wrong. He has really struggled and middle school was the worst.

Ok. But there will always be kids who struggle no matter when their birthday is. If you had described these problems when he was 5 and you were on the fence about sending him on time, the resounding answer would have been to send him on time so he can get the support he needs at school asap, that waiting a year wouldn't help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my DC's private, one of my DC's K classmates didn't start K on time because of the pandemic (parents didn't send them to school). So that child was effectively held back a year by starting K the next year when schooling was physical again. And they have a first week of September birthday -- they turned 7 on the second day of school.

My kid is so impressed by how big, strong, and "smart" that kid is. That kid is now totally the class leader, etc. because of it. I guess to some parents the illusion that their kid has leadership qualities (and the actual confidence that comes from outshining one's classmate through being older) is really worth it.

And he will reap the rewards of it. While the young for the grade kids seem like theyre always behind (with development in elem school, puberty in middle school, maturity in high school, etc) but theyre really just on time for their age. It is frustrating.

That might just be your experience or assumption. Most of these threads are filled with people talking about how their young for grade kids are running circles around everyone else and how bored they would have been if they were held back. I'm not seeing all the failure you are presuming awaits these kids.

No, I have a youngest in the grade boy who was also the smallest in the entire grade and has ADHD and a highly sensitive personality. I regret not holding him back. It's not that he will be forever harmed, but the reality is that he is not one of those super determined kids hell bent on proving everyone wrong. He has really struggled and middle school was the worst.

Ok. But there will always be kids who struggle no matter when their birthday is. If you had described these problems when he was 5 and you were on the fence about sending him on time, the resounding answer would have been to send him on time so he can get the support he needs at school asap, that waiting a year wouldn't help.[/quote


This is what the schools say but from my experience, giving my son who has an IEP a little extra time (He is a september bday so it was barely holding him back) was exactly what he needed to give him the time he needed to be able to work on grade level with his iep supports.