I’m starting my late July birthday child (boy) in kindergarten on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

THIS. You hit the nail on the head. It's less about their actual age, it's more about the gap. If everyone feels 5 is too young for kindergarten, fine, make kindergarten start at 6. But I really feel like kids in the same grade should be close in age. There's a kid that 16+ months older than my kid ... that's just... odd.

And for the person saying they don't believe that I don't mention her age much at all after "closely observing the class"... I've had very few opportunities to closely observe the class due to Covid. We just recently were able to go into her school this year and I wasn't once allowed into the building last year. I honestly, don't know how she compares academically to her classmates. I just know she's bright for her grade (notice I didn't say age). I'm sure there are smarter kids in her class. I'd expect that even if she was the oldest - there's always someone smarter. The closest I've gotten to "closely observing the class" is at playdates/parties with a select group of kids. Socially/emotionally/behaviorally, I can't tell a difference, so I have no need to point out that she's the youngest. Honestly, I'd feel bad doing so, because one of her best friends is over a year older than her and I don't like to point out that disparity. It's not like I need to make excuses for her being behind in any way due to her age, because she's not. She's right where she needs to be and I can assure you the kids don't care, so why should I? I actually think she'd struggle more socially being a grade behind, because the kids with behavior issues/kids that are less mature drive her bonkers. That's just her personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

This entire comment makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

None of that makes any sense at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

THIS. You hit the nail on the head. It's less about their actual age, it's more about the gap. If everyone feels 5 is too young for kindergarten, fine, make kindergarten start at 6. But I really feel like kids in the same grade should be close in age. There's a kid that 16+ months older than my kid ... that's just... odd.

And for the person saying they don't believe that I don't mention her age much at all after "closely observing the class"... I've had very few opportunities to closely observe the class due to Covid. We just recently were able to go into her school this year and I wasn't once allowed into the building last year. I honestly, don't know how she compares academically to her classmates. I just know she's bright for her grade (notice I didn't say age). I'm sure there are smarter kids in her class. I'd expect that even if she was the oldest - there's always someone smarter. The closest I've gotten to "closely observing the class" is at playdates/parties with a select group of kids. Socially/emotionally/behaviorally, I can't tell a difference, so I have no need to point out that she's the youngest. Honestly, I'd feel bad doing so, because one of her best friends is over a year older than her and I don't like to point out that disparity. It's not like I need to make excuses for her being behind in any way due to her age, because she's not. She's right where she needs to be and I can assure you the kids don't care, so why should I? I actually think she'd struggle more socially being a grade behind, because the kids with behavior issues/kids that are less mature drive her bonkers. That's just her personality.

Having started kindergarten at 4, now 5 is too young?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

You clearly are on a diff page and are misunderstanding. Kids SIX months older or younger than each other is NORMAL. Kids 12-15 months older and younger in the same grade is not. I really dont care about your experience many moons ago! Im living it out now with my own kid and am allowed to form an opinion on the current system. Like the pp said, due to covid, we dont go into the schools and observe and make a fuss. Chiming in on dcum doesnt mean we discuss it with our kids and other people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

THIS. You hit the nail on the head. It's less about their actual age, it's more about the gap. If everyone feels 5 is too young for kindergarten, fine, make kindergarten start at 6. But I really feel like kids in the same grade should be close in age. There's a kid that 16+ months older than my kid ... that's just... odd.

And for the person saying they don't believe that I don't mention her age much at all after "closely observing the class"... I've had very few opportunities to closely observe the class due to Covid. We just recently were able to go into her school this year and I wasn't once allowed into the building last year. I honestly, don't know how she compares academically to her classmates. I just know she's bright for her grade (notice I didn't say age). I'm sure there are smarter kids in her class. I'd expect that even if she was the oldest - there's always someone smarter. The closest I've gotten to "closely observing the class" is at playdates/parties with a select group of kids. Socially/emotionally/behaviorally, I can't tell a difference, so I have no need to point out that she's the youngest. Honestly, I'd feel bad doing so, because one of her best friends is over a year older than her and I don't like to point out that disparity. It's not like I need to make excuses for her being behind in any way due to her age, because she's not. She's right where she needs to be and I can assure you the kids don't care, so why should I? I actually think she'd struggle more socially being a grade behind, because the kids with behavior issues/kids that are less mature drive her bonkers. That's just her personality.

Yes, its not about age at this point. It is about the gap, the disparity, within the grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

I was the NP and didnt say I rarely mention it. I was saying "yes this" to how people assume now kids in July (and June) are redshirted. That its not the exception anymore, but I hadnt realized that before enrolling my kid, so yes it bothers me and I do think about it because I see how differently its playing out for my youngest than it has for my other son who is older for his grade. The older one just has more time developmentally. My youngest is just automatically catching up always.

Your younger one is developmentally on target. It’s your expectations that are the issue.

My expectations for my kid to be in same grade as kids his age? Im not an anti-redshirter. I understand why fall kids are held etc. Its the May/June kids that now create a problem for the May/June kids who were not held. And by problem, I mean, there is a lack of equity in being a full year older than classmates without any developmental delay etc. But I dont need to debate this, I was just chiming in with what I am seeing going on where I live and how its changed in the last few years from fall kids to now spring kids being redshirted.

There is no such thing as true equity. I have a fall kid who is the youngest. Big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

I was the NP and didnt say I rarely mention it. I was saying "yes this" to how people assume now kids in July (and June) are redshirted. That its not the exception anymore, but I hadnt realized that before enrolling my kid, so yes it bothers me and I do think about it because I see how differently its playing out for my youngest than it has for my other son who is older for his grade. The older one just has more time developmentally. My youngest is just automatically catching up always.

Your younger one is developmentally on target. It’s your expectations that are the issue.

My expectations for my kid to be in same grade as kids his age? Im not an anti-redshirter. I understand why fall kids are held etc. Its the May/June kids that now create a problem for the May/June kids who were not held. And by problem, I mean, there is a lack of equity in being a full year older than classmates without any developmental delay etc. But I dont need to debate this, I was just chiming in with what I am seeing going on where I live and how its changed in the last few years from fall kids to now spring kids being redshirted.

There is no such thing as true equity. I have a fall kid who is the youngest. Big deal.

I’d it wasn’t a big deal, people wouldn’t redshirt trying to gain an edge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

None of that makes any sense at all.

It is perfectly logical. However, in my time here at DCUM I have seen the observation that anti-redshirters can’t do math. You probably can’t figure out the math involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

I was the NP and didnt say I rarely mention it. I was saying "yes this" to how people assume now kids in July (and June) are redshirted. That its not the exception anymore, but I hadnt realized that before enrolling my kid, so yes it bothers me and I do think about it because I see how differently its playing out for my youngest than it has for my other son who is older for his grade. The older one just has more time developmentally. My youngest is just automatically catching up always.

Your younger one is developmentally on target. It’s your expectations that are the issue.

My expectations for my kid to be in same grade as kids his age? Im not an anti-redshirter. I understand why fall kids are held etc. Its the May/June kids that now create a problem for the May/June kids who were not held. And by problem, I mean, there is a lack of equity in being a full year older than classmates without any developmental delay etc. But I dont need to debate this, I was just chiming in with what I am seeing going on where I live and how its changed in the last few years from fall kids to now spring kids being redshirted.

There is no such thing as true equity. I have a fall kid who is the youngest. Big deal.

I’d it wasn’t a big deal, people wouldn’t redshirt trying to gain an edge.

They know their kids are not that bright or capable and want to make it easier on themselves. A smart kid will do well regardless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

None of that makes any sense at all.

It is perfectly logical. However, in my time here at DCUM I have seen the observation that anti-redshirters can’t do math. You probably can’t figure out the math involved.

If a spring kid is held back and a August or September kid sent on time, you do the math. It can easily be 16 months. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

None of that makes any sense at all.

It is perfectly logical. However, in my time here at DCUM I have seen the observation that anti-redshirters can’t do math. You probably can’t figure out the math involved.

NP-See you’ve run out of arguments and discredited yourself with that tired “gotcha.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

None of that makes any sense at all.

It is perfectly logical. However, in my time here at DCUM I have seen the observation that anti-redshirters can’t do math. You probably can’t figure out the math involved.

Maybe you spend less time here “observing.” You must have missed the threads on math help that you should try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

I’m the PP above who is the former youngest. I was the youngest by several more months more than a year, FWIW, and in general I think the obsession DCUM parents have with their kids being the youngest is not healthy, and I do think they are likely problematic about it with their kids and with others.

I was not held back, but my parents moved and the cutoff difference was about six months. So most kids in my classes were at least six months older than me. That’s more than what the anti-redshirters are complaining about.

You clearly are on a diff page and are misunderstanding. Kids SIX months older or younger than each other is NORMAL. Kids 12-15 months older and younger in the same grade is not. I really dont care about your experience many moons ago! Im living it out now with my own kid and am allowed to form an opinion on the current system. Like the pp said, due to covid, we dont go into the schools and observe and make a fuss. Chiming in on dcum doesnt mean we discuss it with our kids and other people!

You don’t understand. What I am saying is that I was typically a year to 18 months younger because I moved to a place with a six month cutoff difference. So that is more than what DCUM anti-redshirters complain so loudly about. Kids in my classes were AT LEAST six months older than me, but the vast majority were significantly older than that.

And I think the obsession with their kids relative ages and being the youngest that anti-redshirt DCUM parents seem to have is really unhealthy. These are also the parents that gossip about kids and push teachers to talk about other kids and it’s not good.