DD dislikes Half sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here firstly seems none of you have teenage daughters. A shopping trip to American Eagle can cost 500 dollars. What's wrong with him spoiling DD? Child support he gives me covers her room costs- rent broken down by room, cost of food. Step mom works and so its not like the burden of the new baby is just on him. To just start reducing her birthday money was harsh. He put money into her savings account and made her use that towards her driving. Now she has no savings. And he started asking me for receipts for when I request things like gym membership. Now don't tell me that isn't rude?!
I've always let him visit but have always said he needs to do it around what she has planned - for example he will fly in for a few days and says in hotel. He picks her up takes her shopping, movies whatever if she has something planned with her friends as its the holidays he needs to respect that. I wanted to supervise visits when she was younger because she is used to mom.

"I wanted to supervise visits when she was younger because she is used to mom."

Holy crap. You ruined DD relationship with her father for this???? I assumed it was beating, drugs, alcohol. But this? You must be a gold digger. With supervised visits, you maxed child support payments for yourself. If I were you, I'd consider how you can try to help mend their relationship and stop whining about $25 here, $50 there. You created this mess 100%

[Anonymous]

OP here firstly seems none of you have teenage daughters. A shopping trip to American Eagle can cost 500 dollars. What's wrong with him spoiling DD? Child support he gives me covers her room costs- rent broken down by room, cost of food. Step mom works and so its not like the burden of the new baby is just on him. To just start reducing her birthday money was harsh. He put money into her savings account and made her use that towards her driving. Now she has no savings. And he started asking me for receipts for when I request things like gym membership. Now don't tell me that isn't rude?!
I've always let him visit but have always said he needs to do it around what she has planned - for example he will fly in for a few days and says in hotel. He picks her up takes her shopping, movies whatever if she has something planned with her friends as its the holidays he needs to respect that. I wanted to supervise visits when she was younger because she is used to mom.

OP, I have three teen daughters and if I had alienated any of them from their dad the way you have systematically done, I am 100% certain that they would eventually resent me. You should be prepared for that, because you have made it impossible for your DD to have an independent, healthy relationship with her dad. I can't understand how your conscience isn't killing you. Your DD's dad is not rude because he is finally standing up to you and not letting you hold his daughter hostage in exchange for monetary favors he provides. In fact, he has become the sympathetic character in this story. You don't seem to care about anyone but yourself - surely if you had your DD's best interests in mind, she would have a much closer relationship with her dad. Your ex is not your ATM. Start providing the financial support to your DD that ALL parents are responsible for (and not just dads).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here firstly seems none of you have teenage daughters. A shopping trip to American Eagle can cost 500 dollars. What's wrong with him spoiling DD? Child support he gives me covers her room costs- rent broken down by room, cost of food. Step mom works and so its not like the burden of the new baby is just on him. To just start reducing her birthday money was harsh. He put money into her savings account and made her use that towards her driving. Now she has no savings. And he started asking me for receipts for when I request things like gym membership. Now don't tell me that isn't rude?!
I've always let him visit but have always said he needs to do it around what she has planned - for example he will fly in for a few days and says in hotel. He picks her up takes her shopping, movies whatever if she has something planned with her friends as its the holidays he needs to respect that. I wanted to supervise visits when she was younger because she is used to mom.

OP, I have three teen daughters and if I had alienated any of them from their dad the way you have systematically done, I am 100% certain that they would eventually resent me. You should be prepared for that, because you have made it impossible for your DD to have an independent, healthy relationship with her dad. I can't understand how your conscience isn't killing you. Your DD's dad is not rude because he is finally standing up to you and not letting you hold his daughter hostage in exchange for monetary favors he provides. In fact, he has become the sympathetic character in this story. You don't seem to care about anyone but yourself - surely if you had your DD's best interests in mind, she would have a much closer relationship with her dad. Your ex is not your ATM. Start providing the financial support to your DD that ALL parents are responsible for (and not just dads).

OP here how am I responsible for this if she doesn't feel close to her dad? When she was younger he would call and she wouldn't want to speak sometimes. I can't force her can I? She will not resent me are very close and she has said to her father she is a mommy's girl because she hasn't grown up with him. Now if shopping is is way to bond then so be it.

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

At the latest when she becomes a mother she will see how horribly you have behaved.

[Anonymous]

My ex husband's mom did this to him. Didn't let him see his Dad after the age of 5. She remarried. My DH's step father had a dd from a previous marriage. She also cut her out. She went onto have more kids. When DH's biological father died she kicked up a fuss about him going to the funeral. He didnt go. Despite all of us insisting. Her vindictive behavior ruined our marriage too. My ex realized years later what a bitter woman she was. You seem the same OP. Your DD may not realise now but as PP said when she is older and has her own family she may.
This will come around and bite you.

Sadly these situations aren't all that rare. My now DH's dad had an affair and has a 25 year old daughter from that. My MIL stayed with him bit no one is allowed to have contact with the girl. My DH and I had a baby and she has made a point to let me know that girl is to have nothing to do with HER grand daughter. My DH occasionally reaches out to his half DH but his siblings don't. Her mom passed away recently but that didn't seem to change things for my MIL.

You are all nasty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here firstly seems none of you have teenage daughters. A shopping trip to American Eagle can cost 500 dollars. What's wrong with him spoiling DD? Child support he gives me covers her room costs- rent broken down by room, cost of food. Step mom works and so its not like the burden of the new baby is just on him. To just start reducing her birthday money was harsh. He put money into her savings account and made her use that towards her driving. Now she has no savings. And he started asking me for receipts for when I request things like gym membership. Now don't tell me that isn't rude?!
I've always let him visit but have always said he needs to do it around what she has planned - for example he will fly in for a few days and says in hotel. He picks her up takes her shopping, movies whatever if she has something planned with her friends as its the holidays he needs to respect that. I wanted to supervise visits when she was younger because she is used to mom.

OP, I have three teen daughters and if I had alienated any of them from their dad the way you have systematically done, I am 100% certain that they would eventually resent me. You should be prepared for that, because you have made it impossible for your DD to have an independent, healthy relationship with her dad. I can't understand how your conscience isn't killing you. Your DD's dad is not rude because he is finally standing up to you and not letting you hold his daughter hostage in exchange for monetary favors he provides. In fact, he has become the sympathetic character in this story. You don't seem to care about anyone but yourself - surely if you had your DD's best interests in mind, she would have a much closer relationship with her dad. Your ex is not your ATM. Start providing the financial support to your DD that ALL parents are responsible for (and not just dads).

OP here how am I responsible for this if she doesn't feel close to her dad? When she was younger he would call and she wouldn't want to speak sometimes. I can't force her can I? She will not resent me are very close and she has said to her father she is a mommy's girl because she hasn't grown up with him. Now if shopping is is way to bond then so be it.

I seriously hope this is not real, because if it is, there's so much wrong with you and how you behaved I'm not even sure I have the energy to type it all out. Short version is that you are a horrible person who sabotaged her daughter's relationship with her father because you are insecure and wanted to be #1, while also getting as much money out of it as possible. There is a reckoning coming, most likely when your daughter has children and it dawns on her how horrid you actually are. Good luck with your mess of a life.

[Anonymous]

That should say my DH reaches out to his half sister ***

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again I'm not sure why I'm being attacked. He paid for child support, tuition, gym and when he would visit he took her shopping. There was no budget then and now he is starting to say no to things like an iPad and when she asked for coat which only costs 300 dollars he said she needs to put half in or ask me. Which is trying to make me look like a bad parent he is no longer wanting to pay for her gym membership saying it's safer to do work outline or perhaps outdoors. Seems like he is just putting the baby his new baby first so no wonder she is upset. Her montly allowance is awful from him 25 dollars in checking and 75 in saving.
I can't afford to pay her flights. As he was buying all her clothes I didn't really have to.

This is because his new wife costs $$$ and she locked it in by popping out a baby. That's what women who want to be financially taken care of do - pop out babies. OP's daughter is smart - she sees the writing on the wall. But she needs to be diplomatic about the situation, despite it sucking.

OP, isn't your daughter old enough to not need supervised visits? Just ask your ex to fly your kid out to see him.

What a stupid comment. Then clearly OP also tried to lock it in and is now crying because her time is up.
Ridiculous!!

[Anonymous]

OP, grow up, get a job and pay for your daughter's lavish lifestyle. Simple. Problem solved. And, learn to say no to your spoiled brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here firstly seems none of you have teenage daughters. A shopping trip to American Eagle can cost 500 dollars. What's wrong with him spoiling DD? Child support he gives me covers her room costs- rent broken down by room, cost of food. Step mom works and so its not like the burden of the new baby is just on him. To just start reducing her birthday money was harsh. He put money into her savings account and made her use that towards her driving. Now she has no savings. And he started asking me for receipts for when I request things like gym membership. Now don't tell me that isn't rude?!
I've always let him visit but have always said he needs to do it around what she has planned - for example he will fly in for a few days and says in hotel. He picks her up takes her shopping, movies whatever if she has something planned with her friends as its the holidays he needs to respect that. I wanted to supervise visits when she was younger because she is used to mom.

OP, I have three teen daughters and if I had alienated any of them from their dad the way you have systematically done, I am 100% certain that they would eventually resent me. You should be prepared for that, because you have made it impossible for your DD to have an independent, healthy relationship with her dad. I can't understand how your conscience isn't killing you. Your DD's dad is not rude because he is finally standing up to you and not letting you hold his daughter hostage in exchange for monetary favors he provides. In fact, he has become the sympathetic character in this story. You don't seem to care about anyone but yourself - surely if you had your DD's best interests in mind, she would have a much closer relationship with her dad. Your ex is not your ATM. Start providing the financial support to your DD that ALL parents are responsible for (and not just dads).

OP here how am I responsible for this if she doesn't feel close to her dad? When she was younger he would call and she wouldn't want to speak sometimes. I can't force her can I? She will not resent me are very close and she has said to her father she is a mommy's girl because she hasn't grown up with him. Now if shopping is is way to bond then so be it.

Then, since he's not really her dad and you are the important parent, get a job so you can actually be a responsible parent and pay for your lavish shopping trips with her. Problem solved. Shopping is not bonding. Shopping is you taking advantage of Dad. Both you and DD can get jobs together and learn the value of money. Dad is probably counting the day that she turns 18 and is done with you.

[Anonymous]

OP here I'm sorry but some of these posts are just crazy. As teenagers get older they need and want more. So things like car- he needs to pay for half and also pay the insurance costs as well share fuel costs. She will want holidays with friends- that cost needs to be shared.
How do you suggest she get a job during the pandemic?

[Anonymous]

Car and holidays are not needs. No need for him to contribute more beyond the child support.

[Anonymous]

You aren't a very good example for your daughter. Continue this way and she will most likely turn into you as an adult. You aren't teaching her how to form healthy relationships nor are you teaching her the value of money. You are also teaching her how to manipulate a man to get what you want.
Really curious what your current DH says about all this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't understand why your ex didn't take you to court over this. You should be grateful that he didn't. A judge would take you apart for parental alienation. You sound unbelievably controlling and entitled and it sounds like your ex is sick of it and trying to reset things.

Because her ex is an idiot.

It's cute how several PPs are mentioning "Dad was not allowed to, Dad is a saint." Dad did not want to. The stuff that men get away with!