DD dislikes Half sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: How much do you get monthly in child support? What else does Dad pay for each month - activities, clothing, allowance? How much outside of the child support are you sending - child support pays for clothing, household expenses, food?

What does it matter?

The thread is about OP's daughter unhappy about her father, on West coast, having a baby with his new wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again I'm not sure why I'm being attacked. He paid for child support, tuition, gym and when he would visit he took her shopping. There was no budget then and now he is starting to say no to things like an iPad and when she asked for coat which only costs 300 dollars he said she needs to put half in or ask me. Which is trying to make me look like a bad parent he is no longer wanting to pay for her gym membership saying it's safer to do work outline or perhaps outdoors. Seems like he is just putting the baby his new baby first so no wonder she is upset. Her montly allowance is awful from him 25 dollars in checking and 75 in saving.
I can't afford to pay her flights. As he was buying all her clothes I didn't really have to.

This is because his new wife costs $$$ and she locked it in by popping out a baby. That's what women who want to be financially taken care of do - pop out babies. OP's daughter is smart - she sees the writing on the wall. But she needs to be diplomatic about the situation, despite it sucking.

OP, isn't your daughter old enough to not need supervised visits? Just ask your ex to fly your kid out to see him.

[Anonymous]

OP you are objectively a greedy, moronic monster and your exH sounds more and more like a saint the more you post about him.

Best wishes to him and his kind new wife and their child. If your daughter is lucky, he will be kind enough to pay for all the therapy she will need to recover from the damage you have inflicted upon her.

I’ve read a lot of bad OPs on DCUM but you’re near the top of the Worst list.

[Anonymous]

Blended families are almost always a hot mess filled with drama and dysfunction. Sad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again I'm not sure why I'm being attacked. He paid for child support, tuition, gym and when he would visit he took her shopping. There was no budget then and now he is starting to say no to things like an iPad and when she asked for coat which only costs 300 dollars he said she needs to put half in or ask me. Which is trying to make me look like a bad parent he is no longer wanting to pay for her gym membership saying it's safer to do work outline or perhaps outdoors. Seems like he is just putting the baby his new baby first so no wonder she is upset. Her montly allowance is awful from him 25 dollars in checking and 75 in saving.
I can't afford to pay her flights. As he was buying all her clothes I didn't really have to.

Why can't you buy her the coat or iPad with child support? Why does she need a $300 coat? Did she outgrow her coat or she's just demanding a new one? Why can't she get a $60 coat? Why can't she save for three months from her allowance and buy the coat? What's wrong with her current iPad?

Stop. I don't know where one buys $60 coats. Walmart? Or is it a jacket and kid shivers all winter? poor kid

One buys $40 winter coats at Costco that keep you very warm no matter what the weather.

Or you get the $300 coat on a discount at TJMaxx. Anyway, 16 is a pretty normal age for parents to start putting a limit on frivolous spending and teaching kids more about budgeting. Many kids your daughter's age have a job for extras or more expensive versions of th ethings they want.

[Anonymous]

I'm not understanding why you or your brother had to supervise the visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not understanding why you or your brother had to supervise the visits.

I hope it wasn't a money making move to maximize the child support, with the result being her daughter has become quite estranged from her father except for him being her benefactor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: How much do you get monthly in child support? What else does Dad pay for each month - activities, clothing, allowance? How much outside of the child support are you sending - child support pays for clothing, household expenses, food?

What does it matter?

The thread is about OP's daughter unhappy about her father, on West coast, having a baby with his new wife.

OP daughter doesn't care about the new wife or baby. OP daughter is upset she doesn't have a real relationship with her father AND that Dad is tired of DD demands and has cut her back financially. OP is raising a spoiled brat who doesn't understand the word no and sees Dad as a human ATM. Dad pays his way into having a relationship with his daughter as the visits are centered around Dad buying the child stuff. Dad has never been allowed to have a real relationship. OP spends nothing on this child. Dad pays child support for expenses in the house, all clothing and extras. Mom does not financially provide. Dad even provides an allowance. If child wants a $300 coat she can use her allowance or get a job. Or, mom can get a job and spend some of her money on the child.

How much OP pays for her child's needs is important. She should be equally contributing. Between child support and the allowance there should be plenty to buy DD a $300 coat without demanding Dad pay for it on top of everything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again I'm not sure why I'm being attacked. He paid for child support, tuition, gym and when he would visit he took her shopping. There was no budget then and now he is starting to say no to things like an iPad and when she asked for coat which only costs 300 dollars he said she needs to put half in or ask me. Which is trying to make me look like a bad parent he is no longer wanting to pay for her gym membership saying it's safer to do work outline or perhaps outdoors. Seems like he is just putting the baby his new baby first so no wonder she is upset. Her montly allowance is awful from him 25 dollars in checking and 75 in saving.
I can't afford to pay her flights. As he was buying all her clothes I didn't really have to.

Why can't you buy her the coat or iPad with child support? Why does she need a $300 coat? Did she outgrow her coat or she's just demanding a new one? Why can't she get a $60 coat? Why can't she save for three months from her allowance and buy the coat? What's wrong with her current iPad?

Stop. I don't know where one buys $60 coats. Walmart? Or is it a jacket and kid shivers all winter? poor kid

Burlington Coat Factory, TJ Maxx, the same name brands that are sold at Macy’s for a lower cost. You are welcome.

[Anonymous]

OP here firstly seems none of you have teenage daughters. A shopping trip to American Eagle can cost 500 dollars. What's wrong with him spoiling DD? Child support he gives me covers her room costs- rent broken down by room, cost of food. Step mom works and so its not like the burden of the new baby is just on him. To just start reducing her birthday money was harsh. He put money into her savings account and made her use that towards her driving. Now she has no savings. And he started asking me for receipts for when I request things like gym membership. Now don't tell me that isn't rude?!
I've always let him visit but have always said he needs to do it around what she has planned - for example he will fly in for a few days and says in hotel. He picks her up takes her shopping, movies whatever if she has something planned with her friends as its the holidays he needs to respect that. I wanted to supervise visits when she was younger because she is used to mom.

[Anonymous]

Has no one in your life called you out on how incredibly messed up you are in regards to this?

[Anonymous]

OP here how is this messed up? If she wasn't comfortable with him alone what can I do? As she became more comfortable I let her fly there.

As for the money you guys are acting like I'm asking for money for myself. It's not my money - it's my dd's and she has a right to it. In the past he has flown his girlfriend in with him (not step mom but previous) if he could afford to do that then taking her shopping isn't much

[Anonymous]

I can't understand why your ex didn't take you to court over this. You should be grateful that he didn't. A judge would take you apart for parental alienation. You sound unbelievably controlling and entitled and it sounds like your ex is sick of it and trying to reset things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: How much do you get monthly in child support? What else does Dad pay for each month - activities, clothing, allowance? How much outside of the child support are you sending - child support pays for clothing, household expenses, food?

What does it matter?

The thread is about OP's daughter unhappy about her father, on West coast, having a baby with his new wife.

OP daughter doesn't care about the new wife or baby. OP daughter is upset she doesn't have a real relationship with her father AND that Dad is tired of DD demands and has cut her back financially. OP is raising a spoiled brat who doesn't understand the word no and sees Dad as a human ATM. Dad pays his way into having a relationship with his daughter as the visits are centered around Dad buying the child stuff. Dad has never been allowed to have a real relationship. OP spends nothing on this child. Dad pays child support for expenses in the house, all clothing and extras. Mom does not financially provide. Dad even provides an allowance. If child wants a $300 coat she can use her allowance or get a job. Or, mom can get a job and spend some of her money on the child.

How much OP pays for her child's needs is important. She should be equally contributing. Between child support and the allowance there should be plenty to buy DD a $300 coat without demanding Dad pay for it on top of everything else.

You're conflating OP issues with her daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here how is this messed up? If she wasn't comfortable with him alone what can I do? As she became more comfortable I let her fly there.

As for the money you guys are acting like I'm asking for money for myself. It's not my money - it's my dd's and she has a right to it. In the past he has flown his girlfriend in with him (not step mom but previous) if he could afford to do that then taking her shopping isn't much

She wasn't comfortable with him alone because YOU made it that way. YOU caused it. YOU created a self-fulfilling prophecy.