How do you respond to open racism?

[Anonymous]

A fellow mom who I am friendly with said an openly racist and offensive thing to me today. I told her it was offensive and walked away. She later sent an apology over text. But I’m still livid. I haven’t responded. Should I? I really want to tell her to go to hell and to stay away from my family, but it’s someone I see frequently unfortunately. I guess I know her true colors now.

Would love to hear others opinions on how you would respond in a similar situation.

[Anonymous]

Kind of depends on what was said and the context.

People think different things are racist, including me (black).

[Anonymous]

Against your race or a different one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A fellow mom who I am friendly with said an openly racist and offensive thing to me today. I told her it was offensive and walked away. She later sent an apology over text. But I’m still livid. I haven’t responded. Should I? I really want to tell her to go to hell and to stay away from my family, but it’s someone I see frequently unfortunately. I guess I know her true colors now.

Would love to hear others opinions on how you would respond in a similar situation.

Like what? You don't look Latina is pretty different than I don't associate with black people.

[Anonymous]

Op here. She said “this is going to sound racist” and then went on to say an incredibly racist thing. It wasn’t about my ethnicity but about my husband’s. I knew she was maga so I’ve always kept it surface level with her but it was still so shocking to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She said “this is going to sound racist” and then went on to say an incredibly racist thing. It wasn’t about my ethnicity but about my husband’s. I knew she was maga so I’ve always kept it surface level with her but it was still so shocking to me.

Ok, if it's about your husband's race then you have the right to be upset. It would be OTT for a race that didn't involve you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A fellow mom who I am friendly with said an openly racist and offensive thing to me today. I told her it was offensive and walked away. She later sent an apology over text. But I’m still livid. I haven’t responded. Should I? I really want to tell her to go to hell and to stay away from my family, but it’s someone I see frequently unfortunately. I guess I know her true colors now.

Would love to hear others opinions on how you would respond in a similar situation.

I am not sure why you can't just stay away from her from now on. Who cares if you see her frequently? You can be gracious and thank her for her apology but tell her that you will need your space for the foreseeable future and hold your boundary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She said “this is going to sound racist” and then went on to say an incredibly racist thing. It wasn’t about my ethnicity but about my husband’s. I knew she was maga so I’ve always kept it surface level with her but it was still so shocking to me.

I'd have given her the death glare and said "Yeah, it sounds racist because it IS racist." But I wouldn't be friends with someone MAGA in the first place. Republican? Sure. But MAGA? No, never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She said “this is going to sound racist” and then went on to say an incredibly racist thing. It wasn’t about my ethnicity but about my husband’s. I knew she was maga so I’ve always kept it surface level with her but it was still so shocking to me.

So you continue a surface level relationship. How does this affect that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She said “this is going to sound racist” and then went on to say an incredibly racist thing. It wasn’t about my ethnicity but about my husband’s. I knew she was maga so I’ve always kept it surface level with her but it was still so shocking to me.

Still not helping.

Did she call your husband the n word? Ask if he's illegal? There are varying degrees of crappy things people say, so nobody can help you here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She said “this is going to sound racist” and then went on to say an incredibly racist thing. It wasn’t about my ethnicity but about my husband’s. I knew she was maga so I’ve always kept it surface level with her but it was still so shocking to me.

Eh. I'm white with a black husband (and obviously biracial kids). It would really depend on what she said. You'd be shocked at the number of people over the years that have asked if the rumor about black men being well endowed is true. That's clearly a racist question, but I haven't flipped out over it every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. She said “this is going to sound racist” and then went on to say an incredibly racist thing. It wasn’t about my ethnicity but about my husband’s. I knew she was maga so I’ve always kept it surface level with her but it was still so shocking to me.

I'd have given her the death glare and said "Yeah, it sounds racist because it IS racist." But I wouldn't be friends with someone MAGA in the first place. Republican? Sure. But MAGA? No, never.

Is there really a difference between republicans and maga at this point?

[Anonymous]

Context would be helpful for sure. Racism is wrong, full stop but I will add that sometimes it comes from being ignorant instead of hate. If it’s ignorance, trying to correct and teach them might work.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have walked away, I would have discussed with her in exactly what way spreading certain stereotypes is so damaging to our populations.

But I come from a very racist family, and I know some racist people. The key is education, not aggression. Otherwise they get their back up and persist just because they feel they've lost face.

[Anonymous]

Yea, I gotta hear exactly what she said to offer an informed opinion. Plus I gotta ask why are you associating with someone you know is MAGA in the first place?