Grandmother’s Funeral Same Time as Promotion

[Anonymous]

WWYD

I parallel parent and keep interaction at a minimum with ex.

His mother passed away and their family wants to hold the funeral the same week as the 8th grade trip/promotion. Although ex is local, Grandma lives across the country. I am upset about the timing.

Ex has not shown up to any school activities this year. However he does take custody of kids when scheduled. I asked if they could work around the end of the year activities. I was told no.

Grandma saw the kids once a year.
WWYD

[Anonymous]

Will DD see family that she rarely sees since they live far away? I kinda think a grandma would rather she go on the 8th grade trip! Tough one. No real wrong or right.

[Anonymous]

Where is the 8th grade trip to? Like an Amusement park or 4 days in NYC?

[Anonymous]

OP, I realize it's frustrating, but recognize that even if you were still happily married, a situation like this might arise. In the grand scheme of things 8th grade promotion is not the same as high school graduation, and grandmother's funeral is probably challenging to schedule at a time that works optimally for everyone.

[Anonymous]

I mean, they probably decided to hold the funeral when she died. They don’t usually get delayed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WWYD

I parallel parent and keep interaction at a minimum with ex.

His mother passed away and their family wants to hold the funeral the same week as the 8th grade trip/promotion. Although ex is local, Grandma lives across the country. I am upset about the timing.

Ex has not shown up to any school activities this year. However he does take custody of kids when scheduled. I asked if they could work around the end of the year activities. I was told no.

Grandma saw the kids once a year.
WWYD

Past tense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, they probably decided to hold the funeral when she died. They don’t usually get delayed.

To add an additional layer this is a sore subject for me because I missed out on my masters ceremony due to the funeral of my grandmother.

She lived far enough away that I couldn’t do both. Although I was an adult, it’s still a sensitive subject for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I realize it's frustrating, but recognize that even if you were still happily married, a situation like this might arise. In the grand scheme of things 8th grade promotion is not the same as high school graduation, and grandmother's funeral is probably challenging to schedule at a time that works optimally for everyone.

I hear you, it’s hard to let go of the expectation that they show up for him when he does the bare minimum for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is the 8th grade trip to? Like an Amusement park or 4 days in NYC?

Amusement park

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is the 8th grade trip to? Like an Amusement park or 4 days in NYC?

Amusement park

Are you serious? Wow.

[Anonymous]

I’m not clear on what you’re asking. Are you asking how to handle the exhusband because he’s not going to the graduation? Or are you suggesting the ex-husband wants to get to miss their own eighth grade graduation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will DD see family that she rarely sees since they live far away? I kinda think a grandma would rather she go on the 8th grade trip! Tough one. No real wrong or right.

Same family that’s seen every few years. Perhaps some new folks, I don’t really know details since ex and I hardly have conversation other than logistics over text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not clear on what you’re asking. Are you asking how to handle the exhusband because he’s not going to the graduation? Or are you suggesting the ex-husband wants to get to miss their own eighth grade graduation?

Ex is not active at all in the kids schooling. My DD and I have been looking forward to end of the year activities and promotional ceremony. Ex’s mom passed and family wants to hold funeral activities that would prevent DD from participating in class trip and promotional ceremony.

[Anonymous]

Based on the lack of importance of the amusement park trip and promotion ceremony, I’d send DD to the funeral. I would not go yourself.

[Anonymous]

So is the problem that the kid misses their promotion or that their dad does?