My Husband Thinks I’m Too Close to My Ex-Husbands

[Anonymous]

I’m in a bit of a situation and could really use some perspective. My husband feels that I’m too close to my ex-husbands, and I’m not sure how to handle it.

I married my first husband young. We have a 12 year old son together, and we co-parent well, communicating daily to stay on top of things like school, schedules, and family events. We don’t have conflict—he’ll often call or text me multiple times a day if something comes up with our son, or even just to check in. We also talk occasionally about personal matters, like how our families are doing and updates on our lives, but it’s always respectful and focused on our son’s needs. My husband thinks we’re too friendly, which is causing tension.

I remarried four years later to my second husband. We didn’t have children together, but he was a stepdad to my son for several years. Even though we’re divorced now, he still reaches out every few months, especially around birthdays and holidays. He’ll ask how we’re doing, sends gifts for my son and me, and we catch up on things like how his family is, his work, and just life in general. He still likes to talk to my son sometimes, and I think it’s nice given the bond they had. While I don’t initiate contact, I appreciate that he still cares and stays in touch in a thoughtful way.

I’ve been married to my current husband for a few years now and we have a young son together. He’s great, but he’s uncomfortable with the ongoing communication I have with my exes. While I understand his feelings, I also feel it’s important for my son to maintain positive relationships with both his dad and former stepdad.

I’m not sure how to find a balance between respecting my husband’s feelings and maintaining healthy relationships with my exes, particularly for my son’s sake. I don’t believe we’re too friendly, but because there isn’t any conflict, my husband thinks it’s too much. I’m a naturally easygoing person, who does not hold grudges but he sees it differently. I love him and want him to understand that it’s healthy to maintain respectful relations with ex-spouses.

How can I help my husband feel more comfortable with this dynamic?

[Anonymous]

You don't need to text everyday with your son's dad. Stop that. I agree it's too much. And you seem to rush into marriage quickly. How old are you?

[Anonymous]

You should stop getting married to random boyfriends, OP. That will solve your problem. Your third is heading for the door right now. After this one, don't get married again. Your future boyfriends won't have a say in how close you are to your exes.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have 3 husbands, you don’t. It is waaaaaaay too much. No wonder you married 3 times already. Pretty soon you will marry again if you keep it up

[Anonymous]

Stop having kids with differnt daddies. And I think you like the attention. You should have stayed with your first husband if you text multiple times a day. It's weird and not healthy with your current husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has your first husband’s penis been inside you ever since your divorce? Be honest.

[Anonymous]

How’d you end up married a third time? Most of us became pretty cynical about men and marriage by a second divorce.

[Anonymous]

Stop getting married you clearly aren’t good at it. You are a terrible role model to your child.

[Anonymous]

I will buck the PPs and say the only thing that seems inappropriate to me is that XH2 sends you gifts. Nothing wrong with texting with your first ex, but stop telling your husband about every single text message with your son's dad, it seems like under the guise of open communication you are trying to rub it in his face or something.

[Anonymous]

I was married to my first husband for eight and a half years, and we dated two years prior. Although we were intimate a few times after our divorce, that was before I began dating my second husband. We divorced, and about a year later I started dating my second husband. We got married three years after that, so I don’t think it was rushed.

My second marriage was short, and we divorced after a few years, we weren’t compatible. I’m now married to my current husband. I never thought I would get married a third time, but just a few months after that divorce we met at an event and he was really just the perfect person for me. He’s a very kind, respectful man and a physician—a truly wonderful partner. He wants to expand our family, have another kid or two. So , I really value him and his feelings and want to do everything I can to make him feel comfortable. Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was married to my first husband for eight and a half years, and we dated two years prior. Although we were intimate a few times after our divorce, that was before I began dating my second husband. We divorced, and about a year later I started dating my second husband. We got married three years after that, so I don’t think it was rushed.

My second marriage was short, and we divorced after a few years, we weren’t compatible. I’m now married to my current husband. I never thought I would get married a third time, but just a few months after that divorce we met at an event and he was really just the perfect person for me. He’s a very kind, respectful man and a physician—a truly wonderful partner. He wants to expand our family, have another kid or two. So , I really value him and his feelings and want to do everything I can to make him feel comfortable. Op

Clearly not doing a good job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will buck the PPs and say the only thing that seems inappropriate to me is that XH2 sends you gifts. Nothing wrong with texting with your first ex, but stop telling your husband about every single text message with your son's dad, it seems like under the guise of open communication you are trying to rub it in his face or something.

+1

I agree. Though, I think The current husband knew what he was getting himself into so not sure why he is complaining now.

[Anonymous]

The trolls are out tonight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The trolls are out tonight.

full moon?

[Anonymous]

Sad valentine's trolls