Reply to My Husband Thinks I’m Too Close to My Ex-Husbands

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m in a bit of a situation and could really use some perspective. My husband feels that I’m too close to my ex-husbands, and I’m not sure how to handle it.

I married my first husband young. We have a 12 year old son together, and we co-parent well, communicating daily to stay on top of things like school, schedules, and family events. We don’t have conflict—he’ll often call or text me multiple times a day if something comes up with our son, or even just to check in. We also talk occasionally about personal matters, like how our families are doing and updates on our lives, but it’s always respectful and focused on our son’s needs. My husband thinks we’re too friendly, which is causing tension.

I remarried four years later to my second husband. We didn’t have children together, but he was a stepdad to my son for several years. Even though we’re divorced now, he still reaches out every few months, especially around birthdays and holidays. He’ll ask how we’re doing, sends gifts for my son and me, and we catch up on things like how his family is, his work, and just life in general. He still likes to talk to my son sometimes, and I think it’s nice given the bond they had. While I don’t initiate contact, I appreciate that he still cares and stays in touch in a thoughtful way.

I’ve been married to my current husband for a few years now and we have a young son together. He’s great, but he’s uncomfortable with the ongoing communication I have with my exes. While I understand his feelings, I also feel it’s important for my son to maintain positive relationships with both his dad and former stepdad.

I’m not sure how to find a balance between respecting my husband’s feelings and maintaining healthy relationships with my exes, particularly for my son’s sake. I don’t believe we’re too friendly, but because there isn’t any conflict, my husband thinks it’s too much. I’m a naturally easygoing person, who does not hold grudges but he sees it differently. I love him and want him to understand that it’s healthy to maintain respectful relations with ex-spouses.

How can I help my husband feel more comfortable with this dynamic?[/quote]

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