Disdain/Anger for Young Women on DCUM
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Anonymous
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Has anyone else noticed a consistent bias—and outright hostility—toward women in their 20s on this forum? It shows up everywhere: parenting discussions, dating threads, work and career posts, college topics, and of course in posts about sons’ girlfriends (including teenagers).
Young women are routinely portrayed as entitled, spoiled, selfish, or lazy, and are often blamed for nearly every problem in a relationship. The level of scrutiny and negativity is striking. What’s particularly off-putting is that much of this criticism seems to come from middle-aged women who also describe themselves as feminists. Whats going on here? Why does DCUM hate young women? |
Anonymous
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I’m 45, and I recognize what you’re talking about. I think some of it is jealously, pure and simple. I think that another part of it is that we see our younger selves making mistakes or bad choices, and we’re dying to get through to those younger selves and steer them in another direction!
I personally don’t treat people with disrespect, but if a young mother was posting about, say, unsafe cosleeping practices (I’m not saying cosleeping is unsafe per se, I am saying you HAVE to take the proper precautions), I do feel pretty motivated to get through and talk some sense into her. |
Anonymous
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I don't see this at all.
A huge amount of this site is made up of people complaining about people. And we know the core reader is a Gen-X woman. So you're going to have a lot of complaints by Gen-X women about everything. Two other big targets are husbands and schools. |
Anonymous
| Nope, don’t see that at all, OP. I don’t think that age group is mentioned at all except perhaps in the adult children forum. |
Anonymous
| Instagram. |
Anonymous
| Stupidity is not confined to a specific age, race, or sex. |
Anonymous
| I'm 40 and haven't noticed this specific to younger women. This forum tends to have a lot of hate and snark to women of all ages. I've always found it pretty funny that these same women are likely complaining about misogyny or bullying while also being vile to other posters on here. |
Anonymous
Of course. DCUM started decades ago for the parents of young children, including the founders. Now these parents are in their 40s and 50s. I have seen, during those years, how the previous hate for older people has changed to hate for younger people  In recent years, Jeff started the Perimenopause and Eldercare spaces, which gives you an idea of DCUM demographics.
But to be clear - this is an anonymous forum where people post their innermost prejudices and reflexive, knee-jerk opinions. Someone is always going to be hated! |
Anonymous
| I have not noticed this. If any group seems singled out for derision it is Boomer mother in laws. So many people are so incredibly rude to this group and honestly it never matches what I see in my neighbors, coworkers, and family members in this demographic, who are all bending over backwards to help their adult children and their spouses with free childcare, presents, vacations, etc. |
Anonymous
I'm 43 and agree, it's all women. I think the worst of it is towards older women/boomers/MIL if anything. |
Anonymous
| No, I haven't seen this. What I dislike are the commenters who respond to womens' requests for advice: "You should have married someone different/wealthier!" That is not helpful to anyone. |
Anonymous
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There are young women on this forum? Not very many, anyway.
No, I haven't seen this. |
Anonymous
Yes, especially when the poster is describing verbal and other forms of abuse! |
Anonymous
| No but I notice that I get called a boomer a lot, even though I’m like 25 years younger than the cutoff to be one. So I notice disdain for people in their 40’s. |
Anonymous
| I haven't noticed. FWIW, my 20-something DD and her friends seem to have it more together than my friends and I did at that age. |