Wife doesn't want a funeral

[Anonymous]

What does it mean when someone dies young (50s) and the wife doesn't want a funeral?

The person served in the military for 25+ years and died suddenly on vacation. I suspected suic*de but my husband doesn't think it's likely.

Is it common when someone doesn't want to talk about how or why someone died that they avoid a funeral?

[Anonymous]

Because they do not want one. It is their loved one, they get to choose. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Idk how common it is but with the increase in people who claim to have social anxiety it is expected that many don’t want to deal with crowds (and maybe don’t want to spend money). A funeral is a performative event in many cases and people are losing tolerance for those, especially if the central figure is not even there to care!

[Anonymous]

Some people don’t want a funeral for themselves so maybe that’s what’s happening here. Or maybe it’s just too utterly painful to contemplate going through a funeral. Maybe it’s overwhelming to plan and make happen.

[Anonymous]

I don't want a funeral and neither does DH.

[Anonymous]

I have no interest in a funeral. If anything have a get together somewhere fun to celebrate my life. Plan on being cremated, I don’t really care what happens to my ashes. Once we’re gone we’re gone.

Any why on earth would you speculate suicide? Mind your own business OP. Such a weird remark.

[Anonymous]

I don't want a funeral either! Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Omg, leave them alone with the speculation.

[Anonymous]

You mean the husband killed his wife and declared that his wife didn't want a funeral?

You could write a novel, OP.

[Anonymous]

+1 as someone who doesn't want a funeral. If it were legal, I'd be ok with dumping my body in the river. Funerals and graves are such an absurd waste of money.

[Anonymous]

It has become increasingly popular in my social circle not to have an immediate public funeral. Sometimes there is a private ceremony for immediate family and sometimes there might be a large pubic Memorial even months in the future, allowing far flung family and friends an easier chance of attending. No one I know would read anything into the situation you describe.

Sometimes it's a little sad to learn what's going on in the minds of others.

[Anonymous]

*public /omg autocorrect

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t want one either. IMO it’s pointless and costs a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

My father died of kidney failure and my mother of cancer. Both 63. No funeral was held for either and they were cremated.

[Anonymous]

Me neither. Told my kids to do whatever they wanted. If a memorial service or a party makes them feel better go for it. But, don't feel obligated to do the traditional one. Just went through it for a parent and it just made the whole grieving process harder. People mean well but small talk at a funeral can be exhausting. I do have to admit - I like condolence cards especially those that share stories.