How to handle this with manager

[Anonymous]

I had a performance review with my manager that I am struggling with.
1) He will tell me team X said you’re not doing Y . For ex this was about communicating my team’s priorities with them. My response is : I am doing that, sharing priorities with them verbally, on paper and slack. Manager will be like ‘oh i wasn’t sure you were doing that, then im not really sure what they are referring to’ If I ask for examples, he doesn’t have any.
2) said you need to have a better relationship with team X as team X is escalating directly to c-suite and i’d like less escalation. However team X does whatever they want and I have zero control over them as we are different departments.
3) Gives me a meets expectation rating : said because he feels relationship with team X could be better. When i ask how to measure those outcomes and what i should focus on he says he doesnt know as its ambiguous and he knows team X needs to make an effort. I shared that im struggling with my rating since hes telling me its based on my relationship with team x, that I need to build more trust with them, however this is the first im hearing about it and hes telling me i delivered well on all the feedback he provided a cycle ago and all he said was yes i can understand.
3) I feel like the goal post is constantly moved, i am made accountable for another team’s behavior or lack of collaboration/trust building.
I don’t want to be combative or act like I am not receptive to feedback though I feel the feedback is unfair, but not sure how to address it without coming across that way.

[Anonymous]

Is there someone on Team X you can get direct feedback from? It seems like things are getting lost in translation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there someone on Team X you can get direct feedback from? It seems like things are getting lost in translation.

I have a decent relationship with team X & when I talk to them they say all is well. Context: I work at a major tech company and think about these teams as the Product team that is tasked to take risk and grown ( team X) and my team being a finance team. Some of the challenges stem from our teams appearing to have different mandates and control boundaries Ie finance is here to control Risk /returns so can be viewed by Product as a blocker if they want to ship something and my team is asking the right finance questions

[Anonymous]

Help

[Anonymous]

If you’re just going to be defensive all the time, good feedback might stop. Your manager sounds like he is a bit conflict averse, which is bad because you want to know what he is really thinking not just what he feels willing to tell you.

Try to stop thinking of this as a legal case. You are apparently not fulfilling your managers expectations. You might be able to be confrontational enough for him to back off, but that doesn’t really change his mind, just what he is willing to say.

If I were you, I’d try to do better on the areas he’s outlined. You have obviously annoyed someone on another team. Fair or not, that reflects badly on you. The best employees find a way to work at least neutrally with everyone.

And, respectfully, it sounds like you might need a little more humility. Doing well in the workplace isn’t just about being right or being efficient. Your coworkers, your boss, and their bosses in turn all matter to your success. If they don’t like you, you will never succeed.

[Anonymous]

I say this as a risk/compliance person myself - make sure you are coming from a place of collaboration around the shared goal of delivering value / product/ revenue. You do need to do your part around risk management/control as part of your function, but make sure that you are being reasonable and making forward progress vs. being a roadblock. It’s a mindset shift.

[Anonymous]

You are butthurt for not getting a higher rating.
You were told what you need to do.
Do it.
That's why it's called "work" ya know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re just going to be defensive all the time, good feedback might stop. Your manager sounds like he is a bit conflict averse, which is bad because you want to know what he is really thinking not just what he feels willing to tell you.

Try to stop thinking of this as a legal case. You are apparently not fulfilling your managers expectations. You might be able to be confrontational enough for him to back off, but that doesn’t really change his mind, just what he is willing to say.

If I were you, I’d try to do better on the areas he’s outlined. You have obviously annoyed someone on another team. Fair or not, that reflects badly on you. The best employees find a way to work at least neutrally with everyone.

And, respectfully, it sounds like you might need a little more humility. Doing well in the workplace isn’t just about being right or being efficient. Your coworkers, your boss, and their bosses in turn all matter to your success. If they don’t like you, you will never succeed.

Thank you for this. There are a few things that maybe i should clarify on where my frustration is coming from. During our last review, he gave me 4 items to focus/work on. I kept checking in the last few months asking : a) do you have any feedback for me? B)anything im missing that i should focus on. Answer was always: you’re doing great, im impressed with how you took the feedback from last cycle and are doing xyz so well. I dont have any feedback for you. This is where my frustration is coming from. The performance cycle shouldn’t be the first time im hearing there was a goal i missed when we never talked about that being a goal, and when i delivered on all the goals we agreed on. Im very open to feedback, tell me what im missing here or if my frustration is misplaced. For context, director level at a tech org.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re just going to be defensive all the time, good feedback might stop. Your manager sounds like he is a bit conflict averse, which is bad because you want to know what he is really thinking not just what he feels willing to tell you.

Try to stop thinking of this as a legal case. You are apparently not fulfilling your managers expectations. You might be able to be confrontational enough for him to back off, but that doesn’t really change his mind, just what he is willing to say.

If I were you, I’d try to do better on the areas he’s outlined. You have obviously annoyed someone on another team. Fair or not, that reflects badly on you. The best employees find a way to work at least neutrally with everyone.

And, respectfully, it sounds like you might need a little more humility. Doing well in the workplace isn’t just about being right or being efficient. Your coworkers, your boss, and their bosses in turn all matter to your success. If they don’t like you, you will never succeed.

This is excellent advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say this as a risk/compliance person myself - make sure you are coming from a place of collaboration around the shared goal of delivering value / product/ revenue. You do need to do your part around risk management/control as part of your function, but make sure that you are being reasonable and making forward progress vs. being a roadblock. It’s a mindset shift.

This is what i aspire to do, working with a product team that is very aggressive and growth oriented and a culture of escalation, how do you manage this?

[Anonymous]

Is there a written policy on reviews?

When I read the above it raises a lot of questions - it seems like your manager is looking for a reason to give meeting expectations vs. exceeds or whatever.

-where are you in your career with this company? Have you been recently promoted or where are you in rank/promotion?

-who is the supervisor on the other team?

-is there a written policy on reviews - can you formally rebut or refuse to accept the review?

My overall take is that you are doing well but there's something external driving the process here. I think you're overall position/career/path to advancement/company culture dictate what's next. But I wouldn't stop asking your manager for a "deliverable" as it relates to strengthening the relationship with the other team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a written policy on reviews?

When I read the above it raises a lot of questions - it seems like your manager is looking for a reason to give meeting expectations vs. exceeds or whatever.

-where are you in your career with this company? Have you been recently promoted or where are you in rank/promotion?

-who is the supervisor on the other team?

-is there a written policy on reviews - can you formally rebut or refuse to accept the review?

My overall take is that you are doing well but there's something external driving the process here. I think you're overall position/career/path to advancement/company culture dictate what's next. But I wouldn't stop asking your manager for a "deliverable" as it relates to strengthening the relationship with the other team.

^^your, ugh autocorrect.

[Anonymous]

That sounds frustrating, OP. It sounds like Team X is the profit center and you are the person who has to rein them back to reality and compliance, so you need to position yourself as a partner rather than an obstacle.

I would brainstorm all the things you can do to make Team X feel like you are on their side - e.g., meeting with them in person, regular check-ins, asking about their goals for the quarter, etc. Try to find out what issues were escalated to the c-suite and think about whether they could have been resolved with you / whether you could have reduced the scope of the problem.

Try a couple of the easy ones, like meeting with them, and then report back to your boss. "Hey, one of my goals this year is improving my collaboration with Team X. I met with them and I learned that what they need from us is #1 and #2. I think we can get to yes on #1 but someone in c-suite needs to approve #2. What do you think?"

Continue to tell your boss, at least quarterly, what you are doing with Team X and how you are trying to help them. And ask his input on resolving things with them, which gives him more ownership and makes it less likely he'll believe you didn't do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a written policy on reviews?

When I read the above it raises a lot of questions - it seems like your manager is looking for a reason to give meeting expectations vs. exceeds or whatever.

-where are you in your career with this company? Have you been recently promoted or where are you in rank/promotion?

-who is the supervisor on the other team?

-is there a written policy on reviews - can you formally rebut or refuse to accept the review?

My overall take is that you are doing well but there's something external driving the process here. I think you're overall position/career/path to advancement/company culture dictate what's next. But I wouldn't stop asking your manager for a "deliverable" as it relates to strengthening the relationship with the other team.

Im a director of risk and the other team is the product team. They are incentivized to grow the portfolio, build and ship. As the lead on risk my role is to question experiments, product launches ect. My company’s culture is biased towards product and product first, so every time the product team doesn’t get their way, they escalate to c suite. What is frustrating is both my manager and I are in the same meetings where they disagree with me, disagree with him and go to his manager, so he’s not able to stop the escalations himself, but now is making it my responsibility. What is frustrating though is we agreed on 4 goals in the past 6 months and he told me i did well on all those 4. However now he has this new one that i did not deliver on but that we never discussed. Im not even looking for exceed expectations , just a positive impact rating which is the one above meets. When i brought to his attention that i delivered on all 4 goals n when i asked for feedback in the past 6 months he told me he had none, he said yea you did well on all of those, i just think there is opportunity for you to improve x. I told him there will always be an opportunity for me to improve, does it then mean my rating will always be meets. He said he will think about it

[Anonymous]

You need to get the product team to like you and to want to go to you with their issues rather than escalating.

It sounds like your manager is not a hands on type so he just hears that they are unhappy with you and tells you that, without paying attention to the fact that you were updating him regularly and asking for his feedback.