How to handle this with manager

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That sounds frustrating, OP. It sounds like Team X is the profit center and you are the person who has to rein them back to reality and compliance, so you need to position yourself as a partner rather than an obstacle.

I would brainstorm all the things you can do to make Team X feel like you are on their side - e.g., meeting with them in person, regular check-ins, asking about their goals for the quarter, etc. Try to find out what issues were escalated to the c-suite and think about whether they could have been resolved with you / whether you could have reduced the scope of the problem.

Try a couple of the easy ones, like meeting with them, and then report back to your boss. "Hey, one of my goals this year is improving my collaboration with Team X. I met with them and I learned that what they need from us is #1 and #2. I think we can get to yes on #1 but someone in c-suite needs to approve #2. What do you think?"

Continue to tell your boss, at least quarterly, what you are doing with Team X and how you are trying to help them. And ask his input on resolving things with them, which gives him more ownership and makes it less likely he'll believe you didn't do anything.

What’s interesting is Im already doing these things : meeting 1/1, pushing my team to build trust with their team ect. Friction happens when they want to for example ship an experiment and my team isn’t aligned on how the experiment is ran or how it should be priced or how a product is launched. I’d like to clarify that my manager and I are in the same meetings with the product team, and the head of product will still escalate to c-suite above my manager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to get the product team to like you and to want to go to you with their issues rather than escalating.

It sounds like your manager is not a hands on type so he just hears that they are unhappy with you and tells you that, without paying attention to the fact that you were updating him regularly and asking for his feedback.

My manager and I are both in the same meetings with the product team and the head of product will still escalate to my manager’s manager because they disagree with me and my manager. So he is very well aware of all the conversations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re just going to be defensive all the time, good feedback might stop. Your manager sounds like he is a bit conflict averse, which is bad because you want to know what he is really thinking not just what he feels willing to tell you.

Try to stop thinking of this as a legal case. You are apparently not fulfilling your managers expectations. You might be able to be confrontational enough for him to back off, but that doesn’t really change his mind, just what he is willing to say.

If I were you, I’d try to do better on the areas he’s outlined. You have obviously annoyed someone on another team. Fair or not, that reflects badly on you. The best employees find a way to work at least neutrally with everyone.

And, respectfully, it sounds like you might need a little more humility. Doing well in the workplace isn’t just about being right or being efficient. Your coworkers, your boss, and their bosses in turn all matter to your success. If they don’t like you, you will never succeed.

This is strong advice but I feel like it is possible that the manager is just letting sh*t flow downstream and cannot protect OP from whatever else is happening. Weak managers flail like this in dysfunctional offices. It may be impossible to get everyone to like you in such an environment. Still, you are clearly right that OP needs to at least try to take this at face value and figure out how to respond in a way that supports whatever it is the manager wants. In similar settings I have been confrontational because otherwise I will get thrown under the bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That sounds frustrating, OP. It sounds like Team X is the profit center and you are the person who has to rein them back to reality and compliance, so you need to position yourself as a partner rather than an obstacle.

I would brainstorm all the things you can do to make Team X feel like you are on their side - e.g., meeting with them in person, regular check-ins, asking about their goals for the quarter, etc. Try to find out what issues were escalated to the c-suite and think about whether they could have been resolved with you / whether you could have reduced the scope of the problem.

Try a couple of the easy ones, like meeting with them, and then report back to your boss. "Hey, one of my goals this year is improving my collaboration with Team X. I met with them and I learned that what they need from us is #1 and #2. I think we can get to yes on #1 but someone in c-suite needs to approve #2. What do you think?"

Continue to tell your boss, at least quarterly, what you are doing with Team X and how you are trying to help them. And ask his input on resolving things with them, which gives him more ownership and makes it less likely he'll believe you didn't do anything.

What’s interesting is Im already doing these things : meeting 1/1, pushing my team to build trust with their team ect. Friction happens when they want to for example ship an experiment and my team isn’t aligned on how the experiment is ran or how it should be priced or how a product is launched. I’d like to clarify that my manager and I are in the same meetings with the product team, and the head of product will still escalate to c-suite above my manager.

Time for a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get the product team to like you and to want to go to you with their issues rather than escalating.

It sounds like your manager is not a hands on type so he just hears that they are unhappy with you and tells you that, without paying attention to the fact that you were updating him regularly and asking for his feedback.

My manager and I are both in the same meetings with the product team and the head of product will still escalate to my manager’s manager because they disagree with me and my manager. So he is very well aware of all the conversations

Who usually “wins” these escalations?

[Anonymous]

OP, it’s etc., not ect. You’ve done it twice.

[Anonymous]

I think you flag your concerns in writing and stop yourself from being the roadblock if the products team always wins. Forward any info to your boss and lay it all out and let him make the decision. He won’t go to bat for you. A lot of corporate life is reading the room and dynamics and not getting caught in the middle every single time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re just going to be defensive all the time, good feedback might stop. Your manager sounds like he is a bit conflict averse, which is bad because you want to know what he is really thinking not just what he feels willing to tell you.

Try to stop thinking of this as a legal case. You are apparently not fulfilling your managers expectations. You might be able to be confrontational enough for him to back off, but that doesn’t really change his mind, just what he is willing to say.

If I were you, I’d try to do better on the areas he’s outlined. You have obviously annoyed someone on another team. Fair or not, that reflects badly on you. The best employees find a way to work at least neutrally with everyone.

And, respectfully, it sounds like you might need a little more humility. Doing well in the workplace isn’t just about being right or being efficient. Your coworkers, your boss, and their bosses in turn all matter to your success. If they don’t like you, you will never succeed.

This is strong advice but I feel like it is possible that the manager is just letting sh*t flow downstream and cannot protect OP from whatever else is happening. Weak managers flail like this in dysfunctional offices. It may be impossible to get everyone to like you in such an environment. Still, you are clearly right that OP needs to at least try to take this at face value and figure out how to respond in a way that supports whatever it is the manager wants. In similar settings I have been confrontational because otherwise I will get thrown under the bus.

Agreed. That said, if you have a truly bad manager or too deep of a political mess between teams, you should probably switch jobs. Pushing back may stop you from being unfairly punished for something out of your control, but it also usually doesn’t result in a promotion or systemic problems being fixed.

[Anonymous]

This is why having a good manager is so important

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it’s etc., not ect. You’ve done it twice.

Sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re just going to be defensive all the time, good feedback might stop. Your manager sounds like he is a bit conflict averse, which is bad because you want to know what he is really thinking not just what he feels willing to tell you.

Try to stop thinking of this as a legal case. You are apparently not fulfilling your managers expectations. You might be able to be confrontational enough for him to back off, but that doesn’t really change his mind, just what he is willing to say.

If I were you, I’d try to do better on the areas he’s outlined. You have obviously annoyed someone on another team. Fair or not, that reflects badly on you. The best employees find a way to work at least neutrally with everyone.

And, respectfully, it sounds like you might need a little more humility. Doing well in the workplace isn’t just about being right or being efficient. Your coworkers, your boss, and their bosses in turn all matter to your success. If they don’t like you, you will never succeed.

This is strong advice but I feel like it is possible that the manager is just letting sh*t flow downstream and cannot protect OP from whatever else is happening. Weak managers flail like this in dysfunctional offices. It may be impossible to get everyone to like you in such an environment. Still, you are clearly right that OP needs to at least try to take this at face value and figure out how to respond in a way that supports whatever it is the manager wants. In similar settings I have been confrontational because otherwise I will get thrown under the bus.

Agreed. That said, if you have a truly bad manager or too deep of a political mess between teams, you should probably switch jobs. Pushing back may stop you from being unfairly punished for something out of your control, but it also usually doesn’t result in a promotion or systemic problems being fixed.

Honestly, i am thinking that its time i start looking for another job. I love my team and my job but if I can’t trust my manager to provide clarity and have my back it becomes a very hard working environment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get the product team to like you and to want to go to you with their issues rather than escalating.

It sounds like your manager is not a hands on type so he just hears that they are unhappy with you and tells you that, without paying attention to the fact that you were updating him regularly and asking for his feedback.

My manager and I are both in the same meetings with the product team and the head of product will still escalate to my manager’s manager because they disagree with me and my manager. So he is very well aware of all the conversations

Who usually “wins” these escalations?

The cfo will give the product team what they need

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That sounds frustrating, OP. It sounds like Team X is the profit center and you are the person who has to rein them back to reality and compliance, so you need to position yourself as a partner rather than an obstacle.

I would brainstorm all the things you can do to make Team X feel like you are on their side - e.g., meeting with them in person, regular check-ins, asking about their goals for the quarter, etc. Try to find out what issues were escalated to the c-suite and think about whether they could have been resolved with you / whether you could have reduced the scope of the problem.

Try a couple of the easy ones, like meeting with them, and then report back to your boss. "Hey, one of my goals this year is improving my collaboration with Team X. I met with them and I learned that what they need from us is #1 and #2. I think we can get to yes on #1 but someone in c-suite needs to approve #2. What do you think?"

Continue to tell your boss, at least quarterly, what you are doing with Team X and how you are trying to help them. And ask his input on resolving things with them, which gives him more ownership and makes it less likely he'll believe you didn't do anything.

What’s interesting is Im already doing these things : meeting 1/1, pushing my team to build trust with their team ect. Friction happens when they want to for example ship an experiment and my team isn’t aligned on how the experiment is ran or how it should be priced or how a product is launched. I’d like to clarify that my manager and I are in the same meetings with the product team, and the head of product will still escalate to c-suite above my manager.

Time for a new job.

+1. I’m one of the previous posters. Your manager sucks. Unless he’s leaving soon take your experience elsewhere.