How fair are my wants/wishes??

[Anonymous]

Hubby and I have had a pretty strong and great marriage until our little tornado came and our marriage hit a pause. We are getting back into the swing of things and each created a list of wants and wishes. His list was more quality time and sex. Mine was quality time and alone time. I told him I’m more than willing to be more sexually available as long as I get one night a week and a chunk of the weekend as uninterrupted time. I also want date nights twice a month. I think my wants are very reasonable but hubby said twice a month date nights is a little excessive with us both being so busy. I told him the only way he gets a lot of sex is I feel wined and dined and dated. Fair??

[Anonymous]

I think it's fair. When you say "tornado" do you mean "affair"?

[Anonymous]

I think making it transactional isn't going to work.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fair. When you say "tornado" do you mean "affair"?

I thought it meant a kid.

[Anonymous]

Why not compromise? One month do one date night, then the next do two, then the third month do one, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hubby and I have had a pretty strong and great marriage until our little tornado came and our marriage hit a pause. We are getting back into the swing of things and each created a list of wants and wishes. His list was more quality time and sex. Mine was quality time and alone time. I told him I’m more than willing to be more sexually available as long as I get one night a week and a chunk of the weekend as uninterrupted time. I also want date nights twice a month. I think my wants are very reasonable but hubby said twice a month date nights is a little excessive with us both being so busy. I told him the only way he gets a lot of sex is I feel wined and dined and dated. Fair??

That's not the only way. Other women may not have the same requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fair. When you say "tornado" do you mean "affair"?

No. That’s or joke name for our baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hubby and I have had a pretty strong and great marriage until our little tornado came and our marriage hit a pause. We are getting back into the swing of things and each created a list of wants and wishes. His list was more quality time and sex. Mine was quality time and alone time. I told him I’m more than willing to be more sexually available as long as I get one night a week and a chunk of the weekend as uninterrupted time. I also want date nights twice a month. I think my wants are very reasonable but hubby said twice a month date nights is a little excessive with us both being so busy. I told him the only way he gets a lot of sex is I feel wined and dined and dated. Fair??

That's not the only way. Other women may not have the same requirements.

Well, it's the only way for HER, and he's married to her, not other women.

Sometimes I really wonder about the people on this website.

[Anonymous]

How old is your child?

Do you already have an established babysitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hubby and I have had a pretty strong and great marriage until our little tornado came and our marriage hit a pause. We are getting back into the swing of things and each created a list of wants and wishes. His list was more quality time and sex. Mine was quality time and alone time. I told him I’m more than willing to be more sexually available as long as I get one night a week and a chunk of the weekend as uninterrupted time. I also want date nights twice a month. I think my wants are very reasonable but hubby said twice a month date nights is a little excessive with us both being so busy. I told him the only way he gets a lot of sex is I feel wined and dined and dated. Fair??

That's not the only way. Other women may not have the same requirements.

Wellit's the only way for HER, and he's married to her, not other women.

Sometimes I really wonder about the people on this website.

Yes, that's the point. He doesn't have to have sex with her if others will give it to him without all the requirements. He also doesn't have to stay married to her. Just some things for OP to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hubby and I have had a pretty strong and great marriage until our little tornado came and our marriage hit a pause. We are getting back into the swing of things and each created a list of wants and wishes. His list was more quality time and sex. Mine was quality time and alone time. I told him I’m more than willing to be more sexually available as long as I get one night a week and a chunk of the weekend as uninterrupted time. I also want date nights twice a month. I think my wants are very reasonable but hubby said twice a month date nights is a little excessive with us both being so busy. I told him the only way he gets a lot of sex is I feel wined and dined and dated. Fair??

That's not the only way. Other women may not have the same requirements.

Wellit's the only way for HER, and he's married to her, not other women.

Sometimes I really wonder about the people on this website.

Yes, that's the point. He doesn't have to have sex with her if others will give it to him without all the requirements. He also doesn't have to stay married to her. Just some things for OP to think about.

Good grief, I can feel your desperation through the screen. Men see it too, that’s why your standards are nonexistent.

Go back to Ashley Madison and let the adults talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hubby and I have had a pretty strong and great marriage until our little tornado came and our marriage hit a pause. We are getting back into the swing of things and each created a list of wants and wishes. His list was more quality time and sex. Mine was quality time and alone time. I told him I’m more than willing to be more sexually available as long as I get one night a week and a chunk of the weekend as uninterrupted time. I also want date nights twice a month. I think my wants are very reasonable but hubby said twice a month date nights is a little excessive with us both being so busy. I told him the only way he gets a lot of sex is I feel wined and dined and dated. Fair??

That's not the only way. Other women may not have the same requirements.

My husband doesn’t cheat. Don’t take your trauma experiences out on me.

[Anonymous]

The fact he has to earn sex is not going to bode well. That is like him saying I will do more aroung the house every time you have sex with me. Using sex to manipulate and get what you want isn't a healthy relationship.

You guys should work with someone if you want this to last. I think your wants are excessive and your holding sex over his head as something he only gets if he earns it is really nasty.

Sex should be someone you both want together. You ant him to spend money on you and give you time alone - both things that are only about you. But all he gets in return is you will allow him access to your body if he spends enough money and leaves you alone for enough hours

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not compromise? One month do one date night, then the next do two, then the third month do one, etc.

I have always been the more romantic one. I love going out to eat and the experience of experience dressed up. I very rarely get dressed up or wear makeup so it’s fun for me. We obviously had sex outside of date nights, but I feel like it would be great to feel sexy again after my body is different and has changed so much.