Husband wants to take a week long trip when I’m 32 weeks pregnant

[Anonymous]

I wanted to start off by saying that DH is amazing and has been incredibly supportive of me throughout this entire pregnancy (and before).

His friends have this week long fishing trip about 18 hours away from home planned that he has always wanted to go to and that he never had the opportunity to do so until two months from now- when I’ll be about 32 weeks pregnant with our first child. He asked me if I’m ok with it as I’ll be alone in our place but I do have family that will be within very short distance from me. He told me that he’s ok with skipping it if I didn’t want him to go but that this trip probably won’t happen again with the same group of people.

I’m conflicted in what to do in this situation. I honestly don’t like to be alone and I’ll feel lonely and bored in the week that he’ll be away and of course I’m worried that it is possible to give birth anytime even though it’s not a high risk pregnancy so far. At the same time I really want DH to go and enjoy this experience and I’ll feel so bad and guilty if I say no (which he’ll listen to me if I do).

What would you do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

Can a family member come stay over with you? How close are they?

[Anonymous]

I would have him go for sure.

[Anonymous]

First of all, I love that he expressed that he wants to go but is leaving the decision up to you. Secondly, I love that you are being honest about your feelings. Personally, at 32 weeks, I would encourage him to go, knowing that it will probably be his only opportunity for a long time! Having him home when you have a young child in the house (while not a necessity....) is wonderful and truthfully, he will probably not have a chance to take a trip like this again for a long time. Could you ask a family member to come spend a night with you? Or do one final weekend get together before kids with a close friend...invite them to your home. You don't realize this now, but it will be lovely to have a few quiet days to yourself where you can sleep and eat when you want to. Good luck with your delivery and congratulations on expanding your family. I wish you the best!

[Anonymous]

I am usually all the way in on staying with the pregnant wife, but this sounds like an opportunity he'll be really grateful to have and like it will go a long way. If this is your first, this might be the easiest it will ever be for him to go. I'd say yes but make sure he has a way to get in touch.

[Anonymous]

I’d make a backup plan in case I went into labor. But I’d send him off and wish him well. I don’t mean this in a snarky way but I am not someone needs my husband to be here to help me avoid feeling lonely or bored so I would never prevent him from going on a fun trip for those reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can a family member come stay over with you? How close are they?

Yes my parents are super close by - It’s easier for me to stay over with them.

[Anonymous]

I gave birth at 32 weeks. Have women in your family gone into premature labor? Are you at risk for pre-eclampsia, etc? If not, then it's unlikely you'd need him, but he needs to understand that there is always the risk an issue might arise at any moment, so he needs to be mentally prepared to bow out at the last minute, or leave his group in a hurry. Ask him whether he'd feel worse not going, or leaving before the end of the trip.

[Anonymous]

You need to explore why you’d be lonely and bored with him gone for a week. That doesn’t sound healthy. It’s just a week. If you don’t have friends, interests or even the ability to entertain yourself for a short time just this once, you have some work to do.

I thought this would be about him being so far away or you being so close to pregnancy (which you’re really not and you acknowledge that) but your issue is a little deeper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can a family member come stay over with you? How close are they?

Yes my parents are super close by - It’s easier for me to stay over with them.

Why woudl you stay with them? You are a grownup now. Let him go but have a plan to have him fly back if need be. Both of my kids were born at 41 weeks though.

[Anonymous]

Seems fine to me for him to go.

[Anonymous]

My DH had a business trip when I was around 34-35 weeks. At first I was worried he would miss something but it was a short flight away and he had his phone at all times.

I ended up really enjoying that week of calm and quiet solo time. I was wrapping things up at work and loved the quiet evenings. My parents lived nearby so just in case something happened I had support.

In our case the baby didn’t come so all worked out well. Just pointing out that you may find that it’s a nice quiet time before everything and the entire dynamic of your family changes.

[Anonymous]

Itseems you have had a smooth pregnancy so far and are healthy let him go.

And you should find a way to pamper yourself to enjoy having the house to yourself. It's important to know how to be alone. And trust once that baby comes you will be dreaming about quiet days alone.

[Anonymous]

You should stay home
Husband should take his trip

[Anonymous]

I would have let husband go for sure if low risk. Schedule myself massages. Get all the takeout he doesn't like. Laze around after work. But I was feeling great at 32 weeks. By 36 I really slowed down and it was hard to do things.