found empty bottles of alcohol in teen's daughter

[Anonymous]

16 year old DD is usually responsible for her own laundry and room but with APs and exam week, I figured I would help sort her room out before prom weekend. I found bottles that look like regular seltzer but filled with vodka in them and 6-8 mostly empty spiked seltzers in her storage room. I would be less upset if she had friends over recently or a party but she has not. Does this mean she is drinking alone in her room randomly? That is terrifying to me and not sure where to proceed from here. Will clearly talk to her but not sure she will be honest. I can't believe I missed signs if she has a problem. She has numerous leadership roles at school, straight As, and wakes up early to go to school for various commitments. I've had zero indications of a drinking problem. Would appreciate any advice or steps to take other than just talking to her.

[Anonymous]

She's probably just very prepared for Prom weekend. I really doubt she's drinking alone in her room.

[Anonymous]

I think these are party supplies.

[Anonymous]

That would be a nuclear response from me. Tasting sips of alcohol in the presence of parents, to see what it's like, is fine before going to college. But numerous spiked bottles in a teen's room is much more serious and my kids know not to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16 year old DD is usually responsible for her own laundry and room but with APs and exam week, I figured I would help sort her room out before prom weekend. I found bottles that look like regular seltzer but filled with vodka in them and 6-8 mostly empty spiked seltzers in her storage room. I would be less upset if she had friends over recently or a party but she has not. Does this mean she is drinking alone in her room randomly? That is terrifying to me and not sure where to proceed from here. Will clearly talk to her but not sure she will be honest. I can't believe I missed signs if she has a problem. She has numerous leadership roles at school, straight As, and wakes up early to go to school for various commitments. I've had zero indications of a drinking problem. Would appreciate any advice or steps to take other than just talking to her.

This EXACT thing happened to me when I was 16 and my mom also was worried I was drinking alone in my room. I was not at all. They were leftover from going out with my friends and precious commodities for next time I went out.

She ended up putting them in the fridge and drinking them for herself.

The drink? Zimas.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the others, it’s doubtful she’s drinking alone. These are leftovers from a party, or stock for an upcoming one.

[Anonymous]

Kids drink around prom. Going nuclear is not worth it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That would be a nuclear response from me. Tasting sips of alcohol in the presence of parents, to see what it's like, is fine before going to college. But numerous spiked bottles in a teen's room is much more serious and my kids know not to do that.

So you're the mother nobody will talk to or trust with anything. Good job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:16 year old DD is usually responsible for her own laundry and room but with APs and exam week, I figured I would help sort her room out before prom weekend. I found bottles that look like regular seltzer but filled with vodka in them and 6-8 mostly empty spiked seltzers in her storage room. I would be less upset if she had friends over recently or a party but she has not. Does this mean she is drinking alone in her room randomly? That is terrifying to me and not sure where to proceed from here. Will clearly talk to her but not sure she will be honest. I can't believe I missed signs if she has a problem. She has numerous leadership roles at school, straight As, and wakes up early to go to school for various commitments. I've had zero indications of a drinking problem. Would appreciate any advice or steps to take other than just talking to her.

This EXACT thing happened to me when I was 16 and my mom also was worried I was drinking alone in my room. I was not at all. They were leftover from going out with my friends and precious commodities for next time I went out.

She ended up putting them in the fridge and drinking them for herself.

The drink? Zimas.

Blast from the past! So many memories of drinking these by the pool.

[Anonymous]

Meh, our kids bring home their left-over party supplies after every party. They usually bring them to the next party, even if the next party isn’t for several weeks. I don’t think it’s a huge cause for concern yet. But definitely talk to her - and make sure you explain why you were in there to begin with so she doesn’t think you were ‘spying.’

[Anonymous]

My kid would no longer have a "storage room"? and would also no longer be going to prom. Doing things that are illegal is not allowed, regardless of how many other people are doing them.

[Anonymous]

OP here--thanks they are empty bottles or half drunken so not supplies for a coming party. I immediately thought that they may have been leftover from a gathering but she has not had once recently and i was in her room a few weeks ago and did not see them then.

I'm going to talk to her to see what she says. We have had open communication about alcohol, I'm aware that she drinks at parties and that is fine with me but drinking alone or on a regular basis is not.

[Anonymous]

We used to store our alcohol in our closets between parties in old soda bottles. I started towards the end of my sophomore year, and did not drink often nor very much. I didn't always make the best decisions, but was definitely not in trouble. I went a good college, and then grad school, and although i probably drank too much my freshman year of college, I drank way less than those around me.

I wouldn't assume that your daughter has a problem. I would talk to her, and really focus on not driving or binging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here--thanks they are empty bottles or half drunken so not supplies for a coming party. I immediately thought that they may have been leftover from a gathering but she has not had once recently and i was in her room a few weeks ago and did not see them then.

I'm going to talk to her to see what she says. We have had open communication about alcohol, I'm aware that she drinks at parties and that is fine with me but drinking alone or on a regular basis is not.

They are party supplies. Teens will take half drunken bottles to a party and continue to pour from them -- absolutely! Why would you think they wouldn't? And they keep the empty bottles to re-fill later. And it doesn't matter how long ago the last party was -- they are keeping the alcohol on hand for the the next one. Teens are NOT throwing away alcohol.

Obviously just talk to her -- but as sure as I'm sitting here, they are party supplies.

[Anonymous]

Too young