Teen dd way too critical about how she looks

[Anonymous]

She is refusing to post college decision post bc she hates how she looks, she looks ugly in all the pics… she is objectively wrong bc not one person on earth would think she is not pretty. She’s a conventionally attractive person and the pics are great. She is always like this and it means she agonizes about posting anything, then is upset she did not post…

[Anonymous]

... why does she need a photo to post a college decision????

I mean, that's really the glaring hole in the plot here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:... why does she need a photo to post a college decision????

I mean, that's really the glaring hole in the plot here.

That’s not the point. The point is she constantly is like this and hypercritical. She should not not post bc she hates how she looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is refusing to post college decision post bc she hates how she looks, she looks ugly in all the pics… she is objectively wrong bc not one person on earth would think she is not pretty. She’s a conventionally attractive person and the pics are great. She is always like this and it means she agonizes about posting anything, then is upset she did not post…

Leave her alone. Glad to hear she is not a narcissist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is refusing to post college decision post bc she hates how she looks, she looks ugly in all the pics… she is objectively wrong bc not one person on earth would think she is not pretty. She’s a conventionally attractive person and the pics are great. She is always like this and it means she agonizes about posting anything, then is upset she did not post…

Leave her alone. Glad to hear she is not a narcissist.

This is not about being a narcissist. I know she actually wants to post but she says people will “make fun of her” bc the pics are bad. This is not reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:... why does she need a photo to post a college decision????

I mean, that's really the glaring hole in the plot here.

That’s not the point. The point is she constantly is like this and hypercritical. She should not not post bc she hates how she looks.

There are two issues here. You need to separate them, so that she doesn't regret not posting her college decision. Encourage her to post without a photo.

The other issue is her thought process on how she looks. At her age, so many teens don't like how they look. It's not rational, but it's very normal. I was like this too, except that social media didn't exist and so I wasn't under maximal pressure to exhibit myself. I could just internally deplore my looks without anyone being the wiser! Social media and its emphasis on appearance is TOXIC for girls who need a few more years to feel better about themselves, OP. Why on earth would you add to her distress by adding to the already highly damaging levels of pressure?

None of these girls "need" to post pics (or post at all, really). My teen son didn't use social media as a high school senior, and my teen daughter, who is 14, doesn't use it either - she might change her mind later, but I'm certainly not pushing her in that direction. Girls in particular are entirely overexposed on social media, and a lot are encouraged to post more and more revealing photos by random men who compliment them - under the tutelage of their mothers, sometimes. Please don't be that mother.

[Anonymous]

Hmm. I don't know of any teen girl who is confident about her looks. That's because they live in a patriarchy that objectifies women, that adult women around them condone, most of them time without realizing it, and the culture of which is perpetuated by practically ALL news reports, advertisements, TV shows, movies, influencers and couture and design trends.

Some girls become addicted to posting selfies because they self-medicate their lack of confidence with the likes and admiration of their followers... a lot of which are male pedophiles, for whom the internet has been the greatest boon in their lives.

I'd rather your daughter NOT post. She's not less confident about her looks than the ones that post obsessively! That's what you seem to be missing here, OP. The two behaviors are just two sides of the same coin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:... why does she need a photo to post a college decision????

I mean, that's really the glaring hole in the plot here.

That’s not the point. The point is she constantly is like this and hypercritical. She should not not post bc she hates how she looks.

There are two issues here. You need to separate them, so that she doesn't regret not posting her college decision. Encourage her to post without a photo.

The other issue is her thought process on how she looks. At her age, so many teens don't like how they look. It's not rational, but it's very normal. I was like this too, except that social media didn't exist and so I wasn't under maximal pressure to exhibit myself. I could just internally deplore my looks without anyone being the wiser! Social media and its emphasis on appearance is TOXIC for girls who need a few more years to feel better about themselves, OP. Why on earth would you add to her distress by adding to the already highly damaging levels of pressure?

None of these girls "need" to post pics (or post at all, really). My teen son didn't use social media as a high school senior, and my teen daughter, who is 14, doesn't use it either - she might change her mind later, but I'm certainly not pushing her in that direction. Girls in particular are entirely overexposed on social media, and a lot are encouraged to post more and more revealing photos by random men who compliment them - under the tutelage of their mothers, sometimes. Please don't be that mother.

Wow, you just made a big movie in your head. I don’t care if she posts, I’m not some influencer mom. And I don’t post my kids ever online, just share privately with grandparents. My issue is that she WANTS to post but will not bc she hates how she looks and it is irrational. Nobody posts without a photo so that would be odd, and obviously this is not a girl thing: boys and girls are posting these. She was the same about her sports banner (something every senior does) and talked endlessly about how bad the pic was while it is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:... why does she need a photo to post a college decision????

I mean, that's really the glaring hole in the plot here.

That’s not the point. The point is she constantly is like this and hypercritical. She should not not post bc she hates how she looks.

There are two issues here. You need to separate them, so that she doesn't regret not posting her college decision. Encourage her to post without a photo.

The other issue is her thought process on how she looks. At her age, so many teens don't like how they look. It's not rational, but it's very normal. I was like this too, except that social media didn't exist and so I wasn't under maximal pressure to exhibit myself. I could just internally deplore my looks without anyone being the wiser! Social media and its emphasis on appearance is TOXIC for girls who need a few more years to feel better about themselves, OP. Why on earth would you add to her distress by adding to the already highly damaging levels of pressure?

None of these girls "need" to post pics (or post at all, really). My teen son didn't use social media as a high school senior, and my teen daughter, who is 14, doesn't use it either - she might change her mind later, but I'm certainly not pushing her in that direction. Girls in particular are entirely overexposed on social media, and a lot are encouraged to post more and more revealing photos by random men who compliment them - under the tutelage of their mothers, sometimes. Please don't be that mother.

Wow, you just made a big movie in your head. I don’t care if she posts, I’m not some influencer mom. And I don’t post my kids ever online, just share privately with grandparents. My issue is that she WANTS to post but will not bc she hates how she looks and it is irrational. Nobody posts without a photo so that would be odd, and obviously this is not a girl thing: boys and girls are posting these. She was the same about her sports banner (something every senior does) and talked endlessly about how bad the pic was while it is great.

NP. It’s like you completely missed everything the PP wrote. You are dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:... why does she need a photo to post a college decision????

I mean, that's really the glaring hole in the plot here.

That’s not the point. The point is she constantly is like this and hypercritical. She should not not post bc she hates how she looks.

There are two issues here. You need to separate them, so that she doesn't regret not posting her college decision. Encourage her to post without a photo.

The other issue is her thought process on how she looks. At her age, so many teens don't like how they look. It's not rational, but it's very normal. I was like this too, except that social media didn't exist and so I wasn't under maximal pressure to exhibit myself. I could just internally deplore my looks without anyone being the wiser! Social media and its emphasis on appearance is TOXIC for girls who need a few more years to feel better about themselves, OP. Why on earth would you add to her distress by adding to the already highly damaging levels of pressure?

None of these girls "need" to post pics (or post at all, really). My teen son didn't use social media as a high school senior, and my teen daughter, who is 14, doesn't use it either - she might change her mind later, but I'm certainly not pushing her in that direction. Girls in particular are entirely overexposed on social media, and a lot are encouraged to post more and more revealing photos by random men who compliment them - under the tutelage of their mothers, sometimes. Please don't be that mother.

Wow, you just made a big movie in your head. I don’t care if she posts, I’m not some influencer mom. And I don’t post my kids ever online, just share privately with grandparents. My issue is that she WANTS to post but will not bc she hates how she looks and it is irrational. Nobody posts without a photo so that would be odd, and obviously this is not a girl thing: boys and girls are posting these. She was the same about her sports banner (something every senior does) and talked endlessly about how bad the pic was while it is great.

NP. It’s like you completely missed everything the PP wrote. You are dumb.

I am not interested in the point given the person making it.

[Anonymous]

She has body issues and needs therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:... why does she need a photo to post a college decision????

I mean, that's really the glaring hole in the plot here.

That’s not the point. The point is she constantly is like this and hypercritical. She should not not post bc she hates how she looks.

There are two issues here. You need to separate them, so that she doesn't regret not posting her college decision. Encourage her to post without a photo.

The other issue is her thought process on how she looks. At her age, so many teens don't like how they look. It's not rational, but it's very normal. I was like this too, except that social media didn't exist and so I wasn't under maximal pressure to exhibit myself. I could just internally deplore my looks without anyone being the wiser! Social media and its emphasis on appearance is TOXIC for girls who need a few more years to feel better about themselves, OP. Why on earth would you add to her distress by adding to the already highly damaging levels of pressure?

None of these girls "need" to post pics (or post at all, really). My teen son didn't use social media as a high school senior, and my teen daughter, who is 14, doesn't use it either - she might change her mind later, but I'm certainly not pushing her in that direction. Girls in particular are entirely overexposed on social media, and a lot are encouraged to post more and more revealing photos by random men who compliment them - under the tutelage of their mothers, sometimes. Please don't be that mother.

Wow, you just made a big movie in your head. I don’t care if she posts, I’m not some influencer mom. And I don’t post my kids ever online, just share privately with grandparents. My issue is that she WANTS to post but will not bc she hates how she looks and it is irrational. Nobody posts without a photo so that would be odd, and obviously this is not a girl thing: boys and girls are posting these. She was the same about her sports banner (something every senior does) and talked endlessly about how bad the pic was while it is great.

NP. It’s like you completely missed everything the PP wrote. You are dumb.

I am not interested in the point given the person making it.

The person you don't know? Why even bother creating a thread, then, if you only want to hear your own beliefs parroted back to you, instead of listening to others? Better speak in front of a mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:... why does she need a photo to post a college decision????

I mean, that's really the glaring hole in the plot here.

That’s not the point. The point is she constantly is like this and hypercritical. She should not not post bc she hates how she looks.

There are two issues here. You need to separate them, so that she doesn't regret not posting her college decision. Encourage her to post without a photo.

The other issue is her thought process on how she looks. At her age, so many teens don't like how they look. It's not rational, but it's very normal. I was like this too, except that social media didn't exist and so I wasn't under maximal pressure to exhibit myself. I could just internally deplore my looks without anyone being the wiser! Social media and its emphasis on appearance is TOXIC for girls who need a few more years to feel better about themselves, OP. Why on earth would you add to her distress by adding to the already highly damaging levels of pressure?

None of these girls "need" to post pics (or post at all, really). My teen son didn't use social media as a high school senior, and my teen daughter, who is 14, doesn't use it either - she might change her mind later, but I'm certainly not pushing her in that direction. Girls in particular are entirely overexposed on social media, and a lot are encouraged to post more and more revealing photos by random men who compliment them - under the tutelage of their mothers, sometimes. Please don't be that mother.

Wow, you just made a big movie in your head. I don’t care if she posts, I’m not some influencer mom. And I don’t post my kids ever online, just share privately with grandparents. My issue is that she WANTS to post but will not bc she hates how she looks and it is irrational. Nobody posts without a photo so that would be odd, and obviously this is not a girl thing: boys and girls are posting these. She was the same about her sports banner (something every senior does) and talked endlessly about how bad the pic was while it is great.

NP. It’s like you completely missed everything the PP wrote. You are dumb.

I am not interested in the point given the person making it.

Wow. Nasty.

[Anonymous]

Body dysmorphia. Therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:... why does she need a photo to post a college decision????

I mean, that's really the glaring hole in the plot here.

That’s not the point. The point is she constantly is like this and hypercritical. She should not not post bc she hates how she looks.

There are two issues here. You need to separate them, so that she doesn't regret not posting her college decision. Encourage her to post without a photo.

The other issue is her thought process on how she looks. At her age, so many teens don't like how they look. It's not rational, but it's very normal. I was like this too, except that social media didn't exist and so I wasn't under maximal pressure to exhibit myself. I could just internally deplore my looks without anyone being the wiser! Social media and its emphasis on appearance is TOXIC for girls who need a few more years to feel better about themselves, OP. Why on earth would you add to her distress by adding to the already highly damaging levels of pressure?

None of these girls "need" to post pics (or post at all, really). My teen son didn't use social media as a high school senior, and my teen daughter, who is 14, doesn't use it either - she might change her mind later, but I'm certainly not pushing her in that direction. Girls in particular are entirely overexposed on social media, and a lot are encouraged to post more and more revealing photos by random men who compliment them - under the tutelage of their mothers, sometimes. Please don't be that mother.

Wow, you just made a big movie in your head. I don’t care if she posts, I’m not some influencer mom. And I don’t post my kids ever online, just share privately with grandparents. My issue is that she WANTS to post but will not bc she hates how she looks and it is irrational. Nobody posts without a photo so that would be odd, and obviously this is not a girl thing: boys and girls are posting these. She was the same about her sports banner (something every senior does) and talked endlessly about how bad the pic was while it is great.

Plenty of teens post without photos.

Did you mean to post truly serious concerns about your daughter's body image anxiety? In that case, maybe you should have phrased things differently, and brought up additional examples so we could understand the gravity of the problem.

Right now, you're not coming across as entirely rational about this. Pushing your daughter to post a picture of herself on social media when she's insecure about her looks is the opposite of a wise/healthy decision. You're compounding the problem because you're placing additional stress on her weakness.

If you are truly concerned, you need to bring her for a consultation with a psychologist and then get her some targeted therapy.