Teen dd way too critical about how she looks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:INSTAGRAM.

Why are you allowing her to use it, OP? It is the source of your problem here.

Parents of tweens really should not respond to older teen posts.

DP. The PP is right, though. Instagram has completely shattered so many teens’ self-confidence. It’s all so fake and it’s not worth it. Sure, they get to an age where you’re not in control anymore, but so many parents cave in when their kids are only 10/11/12 thinking it’s harmless fun. You can’t the genie back in the bottle.

Instagram IS bad but parents of young people who are near adults really cannot control this. It also was not even a worry for now seniors when they were 10 to 12yos. Thankfully that generation did not even have phones so no Instagram worries!

Huh? That was only 6-7 years ago. Of course they had phones.

My ds did not get one until freshman year. Maybe some kids had one but he was not an outlier.

Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize your DS was representative of this generation of girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:INSTAGRAM.

Why are you allowing her to use it, OP? It is the source of your problem here.

Parents of tweens really should not respond to older teen posts.

DP. The PP is right, though. Instagram has completely shattered so many teens’ self-confidence. It’s all so fake and it’s not worth it. Sure, they get to an age where you’re not in control anymore, but so many parents cave in when their kids are only 10/11/12 thinking it’s harmless fun. You can’t the genie back in the bottle.

Instagram IS bad but parents of young people who are near adults really cannot control this. It also was not even a worry for now seniors when they were 10 to 12yos. Thankfully that generation did not even have phones so no Instagram worries!

Huh? That was only 6-7 years ago. Of course they had phones.

My ds did not get one until freshman year. Maybe some kids had one but he was not an outlier.

Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize your DS was representative of this generation of girls.

The post is about a senior and not tweens and whether they should be kept from Instagram. I think most would agree they should. But in any case everyone with older teens knows that the tech pressure/norms is vastly different depending on specific ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:INSTAGRAM.

Why are you allowing her to use it, OP? It is the source of your problem here.

Parents of tweens really should not respond to older teen posts.

DP. The PP is right, though. Instagram has completely shattered so many teens’ self-confidence. It’s all so fake and it’s not worth it. Sure, they get to an age where you’re not in control anymore, but so many parents cave in when their kids are only 10/11/12 thinking it’s harmless fun. You can’t the genie back in the bottle.

Instagram IS bad but parents of young people who are near adults really cannot control this. It also was not even a worry for now seniors when they were 10 to 12yos. Thankfully that generation did not even have phones so no Instagram worries!

Huh? That was only 6-7 years ago. Of course they had phones.

My ds did not get one until freshman year. Maybe some kids had one but he was not an outlier.

Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize your DS was representative of this generation of girls.

The post is about a senior and not tweens and whether they should be kept from Instagram. I think most would agree they should. But in any case everyone with older teens knows that the tech pressure/norms is vastly different depending on specific ages.

I took a hardline on social media when my DD was a tween and now that she’s almost 17, she has no interest in it. Thank god I will never have to worry about her agonizing over whether or not to post something. What a waste of young minds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:INSTAGRAM.

Why are you allowing her to use it, OP? It is the source of your problem here.

Parents of tweens really should not respond to older teen posts.

DP. The PP is right, though. Instagram has completely shattered so many teens’ self-confidence. It’s all so fake and it’s not worth it. Sure, they get to an age where you’re not in control anymore, but so many parents cave in when their kids are only 10/11/12 thinking it’s harmless fun. You can’t the genie back in the bottle.

Instagram IS bad but parents of young people who are near adults really cannot control this. It also was not even a worry for now seniors when they were 10 to 12yos. Thankfully that generation did not even have phones so no Instagram worries!

Huh? That was only 6-7 years ago. Of course they had phones.

My ds did not get one until freshman year. Maybe some kids had one but he was not an outlier.

Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize your DS was representative of this generation of girls.

The post is about a senior and not tweens and whether they should be kept from Instagram. I think most would agree they should. But in any case everyone with older teens knows that the tech pressure/norms is vastly different depending on specific ages.

I took a hardline on social media when my DD was a tween and now that she’s almost 17, she has no interest in it. Thank god I will never have to worry about her agonizing over whether or not to post something. What a waste of young minds.

From what I am seeing the kids who post decisions are not necessarily big social media kids at all, often the opposite. It doesn't get done on one's instagram or even require having instagram at all...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is refusing to post college decision post bc she hates how she looks, she looks ugly in all the pics… she is objectively wrong bc not one person on earth would think she is not pretty. She’s a conventionally attractive person and the pics are great. She is always like this and it means she agonizes about posting anything, then is upset she did not post…

Main Character Syndrome. No one gives a crap and no one will have anything to say. The world does not revolve around her and people do not stay up at night figuring out biting comments to leave when she posts a picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is beautiful.

No.

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is beautiful.

That’s the biggest load of crap.

Only if your rude that's what you believe.

[Anonymous]

If posting a pic gives her anxiety, don’t post, she can announce her college without a pic of herself. Encourage a social media break if it’s stressful and not building connection for her. Some ppl are more triggered by these things than others - if she’s more confident when taking a break, this is the answer for her. Lots of Gen z are not posting much on insta and have mostly blank pages and only post to their story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If posting a pic gives her anxiety, don’t post, she can announce her college without a pic of herself. Encourage a social media break if it’s stressful and not building connection for her. Some ppl are more triggered by these things than others - if she’s more confident when taking a break, this is the answer for her. Lots of Gen z are not posting much on insta and have mostly blank pages and only post to their story.

Op here and she does not post on insta. As you say her crowd is not very active on there, if at all. That’s why it was so irritating for people to jump on this. It’s really generally about pics of herself which recently included this (on the school decision page) and her sport senior banner. She also resists taking pics at all. Not a body image issue (she’s thin and athletic and has no body issues or eating issues) but really about not liking her face.

[Anonymous]

She is a teen. She is 100% normal. Most teen boys and girls don't think they have the most gorgeous face. They always think every picture looks awful so they tke 100 selfies to try and get one that isn't horrible.

No one needs to post their face online or on social media. It is perfectly fine that her completely normal teen insecurities make her post less out of eww factor vs those whose perfectly normal teen insecurities make them post more to try and get validation and attention. Both are completely normal reactions for teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:INSTAGRAM.

Why are you allowing her to use it, OP? It is the source of your problem here.

Parents of tweens really should not respond to older teen posts.

DP. The PP is right, though. Instagram has completely shattered so many teens’ self-confidence. It’s all so fake and it’s not worth it. Sure, they get to an age where you’re not in control anymore, but so many parents cave in when their kids are only 10/11/12 thinking it’s harmless fun. You can’t the genie back in the bottle.

Instagram IS bad but parents of young people who are near adults really cannot control this. It also was not even a worry for now seniors when they were 10 to 12yos. Thankfully that generation did not even have phones so no Instagram worries!

Huh? That was only 6-7 years ago. Of course they had phones.

My ds did not get one until freshman year. Maybe some kids had one but he was not an outlier.

Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize your DS was representative of this generation of girls.

The post is about a senior and not tweens and whether they should be kept from Instagram. I think most would agree they should. But in any case everyone with older teens knows that the tech pressure/norms is vastly different depending on specific ages.

I took a hardline on social media when my DD was a tween and now that she’s almost 17, she has no interest in it. Thank god I will never have to worry about her agonizing over whether or not to post something. What a waste of young minds.

And lives. Lots of these girls kill themselves as a result of Instagram use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:INSTAGRAM.

Why are you allowing her to use it, OP? It is the source of your problem here.

Parents of tweens really should not respond to older teen posts.

DP. The PP is right, though. Instagram has completely shattered so many teens’ self-confidence. It’s all so fake and it’s not worth it. Sure, they get to an age where you’re not in control anymore, but so many parents cave in when their kids are only 10/11/12 thinking it’s harmless fun. You can’t the genie back in the bottle.

Instagram IS bad but parents of young people who are near adults really cannot control this. It also was not even a worry for now seniors when they were 10 to 12yos. Thankfully that generation did not even have phones so no Instagram worries!

Huh? That was only 6-7 years ago. Of course they had phones.

My ds did not get one until freshman year. Maybe some kids had one but he was not an outlier.

Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize your DS was representative of this generation of girls.

The post is about a senior and not tweens and whether they should be kept from Instagram. I think most would agree they should. But in any case everyone with older teens knows that the tech pressure/norms is vastly different depending on specific ages.

I took a hardline on social media when my DD was a tween and now that she’s almost 17, she has no interest in it. Thank god I will never have to worry about her agonizing over whether or not to post something. What a waste of young minds.

And lives. Lots of these girls kill themselves as a result of Instagram use.

True. Insta causes many suicides

https://www.forbes.com/sites/zakdoffman/2019/01/27/instagram-implicated-in-teen-suicides-just-as-facebook-bets-its-future-on-the-platform/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:INSTAGRAM.

Why are you allowing her to use it, OP? It is the source of your problem here.

Parents of tweens really should not respond to older teen posts.

DP. The PP is right, though. Instagram has completely shattered so many teens’ self-confidence. It’s all so fake and it’s not worth it. Sure, they get to an age where you’re not in control anymore, but so many parents cave in when their kids are only 10/11/12 thinking it’s harmless fun. You can’t the genie back in the bottle.

Instagram IS bad but parents of young people who are near adults really cannot control this. It also was not even a worry for now seniors when they were 10 to 12yos. Thankfully that generation did not even have phones so no Instagram worries!

Huh? That was only 6-7 years ago. Of course they had phones.

My ds did not get one until freshman year. Maybe some kids had one but he was not an outlier.

Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize your DS was representative of this generation of girls.

The post is about a senior and not tweens and whether they should be kept from Instagram. I think most would agree they should. But in any case everyone with older teens knows that the tech pressure/norms is vastly different depending on specific ages.

I took a hardline on social media when my DD was a tween and now that she’s almost 17, she has no interest in it. Thank god I will never have to worry about her agonizing over whether or not to post something. What a waste of young minds.

And lives. Lots of these girls kill themselves as a result of Instagram use.

True. Insta causes many suicides

https://www.forbes.com/sites/zakdoffman/2019/01/27/instagram-implicated-in-teen-suicides-just-as-facebook-bets-its-future-on-the-platform/

Indeed it does:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/voices/2023/03/03/teen-depression-suicide-linked-social-media-congress-act/11333592002/

[Anonymous]

25 out of 50 US states, plus DC, are suing Insta and other Social platforms based on 2 simple, scientifically-proven facts:

- social media use is harmful to teenagers as a matter of established fact, and

- social media is specifically designed to be addictive to teenagers.


Why are you allowing your teens to use it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If posting a pic gives her anxiety, don’t post, she can announce her college without a pic of herself. Encourage a social media break if it’s stressful and not building connection for her. Some ppl are more triggered by these things than others - if she’s more confident when taking a break, this is the answer for her. Lots of Gen z are not posting much on insta and have mostly blank pages and only post to their story.

Op here and she does not post on insta. As you say her crowd is not very active on there, if at all. That’s why it was so irritating for people to jump on this. It’s really generally about pics of herself which recently included this (on the school decision page) and her sport senior banner. She also resists taking pics at all. Not a body image issue (she’s thin and athletic and has no body issues or eating issues) but really about not liking her face.

Excuse me, but YOU created the thread. YOU are jumping on this problem, not us. We are telling you that it's not a big deal if she posts without a photo, and some people cautioned she might have more than the usual amount of normal teen self-hate - but that's just based on what you wrote out for us.

So calm down and try to calm your daughter down. Your rant on DCUM makes it look like you're worsening her fears by egging her to post a picture.