Teen dd way too critical about how she looks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If posting a pic gives her anxiety, don’t post, she can announce her college without a pic of herself. Encourage a social media break if it’s stressful and not building connection for her. Some ppl are more triggered by these things than others - if she’s more confident when taking a break, this is the answer for her. Lots of Gen z are not posting much on insta and have mostly blank pages and only post to their story.

I am talking

Op here and she does not post on insta. As you say her crowd is not very active on there, if at all. That’s why it was so irritating for people to jump on this. It’s really generally about pics of herself which recently included this (on the school decision page) and her sport senior banner. She also resists taking pics at all. Not a body image issue (she’s thin and athletic and has no body issues or eating issues) but really about not liking her face.

Excuse me, but YOU created the thread. YOU are jumping on this problem, not us. We are telling you that it's not a big deal if she posts without a photo, and some people cautioned she might have more than the usual amount of normal teen self-hate - but that's just based on what you wrote out for us.

So calm down and try to calm your daughter down. Your rant on DCUM makes it look like you're worsening her fears by egging her to post a picture.

I am talking specifically about the very large Instagram societal scope this discussion has taken almost immediately with people chiming in about how bad this is for preteens when my dd is almost an adult and has never even posted on Instagram. I don’t disagree with those posters, but it has nothing to do with my dd and probably warrants its own post. As for the photo itself, the school page has photos for every single post so no, she cannot post without a photo, it’s either send pics to be posted or don’t get it posted. She likely will not have it posted at all which I do find a bit sad bc she does want to post this and yet won’t. Some people were lovely and had some nice advice and useful view points but I don’t think posting here means I have to be thrilled with every response.

[Anonymous]

I think the OP is specifically talking about the high school college commitment Instagram pages. For those of you who don't have an 12th grader, you might not be aware of these. People post their commitments even if they're not on social media themselves. They don't have to do this, of course, and that is definitely an option for OP's daughter. But, this is not about the merits (or lack thereof) of Instagram overall. There are people who post on these pages (or more correctly, send in their info for the student running the page to post it) who do not otherwise participate in social media. Love them or hate them, these pages are a thing. They are not run by the school, but usually students.

These are a hot topic of conversation on the College forum. See https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/435/1244745.page