How do these super coddled kids turn out?

[Anonymous]

I’m amazed how many kids are so coddled. The parents do everything and anything for them. I’m not even sure I would call them spoiled. They are often only children or the baby of the family or the kid who doesn’t want to do things for themselves. They almost always have very aggressive type a type parents.

Do these kids become failure to launch?

The kids seem so dependent on their parents in a very negative way.

[Anonymous]

I know a super coddled kid who is an extremely successful adult. So coddled that their parents flew to our college town once a month to help them manage term papers (often doing them) and do all of their laundry. They then got into a top 5 law school and I assume the parents continued the same level of support. They are what appears to be a very successful lawyer in their hometown.

I know others who were very coddled and continue to get that treatment even though they have kids of their own. Their parents are doing school dropoff and pickup, making dinner, and doing weekend childcare. The adult children are thriving- who wouldn’t with that level of additional help?

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I'm waiting to see this about my friend's son. Ironically, her ex-husband is one of those people who "weaponizes incompetence" and I'm like... I see how this happens.

She's the most Type A person I know.

[Anonymous]

The ones I know have done very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The ones I know have done very well.

OP here. I have 3 kids so my attention is split.

My kids are in both public and private. At our private school, the level of coddling is next level. I’m just shocked at how NOT independent these kids are. The parents control every aspect of their children’s lives.

[Anonymous]

Does super coddled = rich? If so, they will be fine. Intergenerational wealth does wonders, even if you don’t work particularly hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a super coddled kid who is an extremely successful adult. So coddled that their parents flew to our college town once a month to help them manage term papers (often doing them) and do all of their laundry. They then got into a top 5 law school and I assume the parents continued the same level of support. They are what appears to be a very successful lawyer in their hometown.

I know others who were very coddled and continue to get that treatment even though they have kids of their own. Their parents are doing school dropoff and pickup, making dinner, and doing weekend childcare. The adult children are thriving- who wouldn’t with that level of additional help?

There is a kid on my child’s sports team whose mom is her child’s personal driver and chef. The mom loves to drive her son around. The boy is 18 but is treated like a 6 year old with how the mom tells him to eat, go to bed, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does super coddled = rich? If so, they will be fine. Intergenerational wealth does wonders, even if you don’t work particularly hard.

The kids I am thinking of are UMC and rich. I wasn’t thinking money, but now that I think of it, yes, these kids are definitely top 1%.

We had a play date recently with a girl and she has two older parents (semi retired) and definitely very very rich. It was very obvious she had never done anything for herself between her two parents and help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does super coddled = rich? If so, they will be fine. Intergenerational wealth does wonders, even if you don’t work particularly hard.

You can be rich without being coddled, and you can be coddled without being rich. Think of the kids who are like, ten years old and refuse to cut their food because they're lazy so their parents do it for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does super coddled = rich? If so, they will be fine. Intergenerational wealth does wonders, even if you don’t work particularly hard.

PP here and the friend I was referring to in my post is definitely rich.

I don't think rich = coddled, but I think it's way harder to have coddled poor children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does super coddled = rich? If so, they will be fine. Intergenerational wealth does wonders, even if you don’t work particularly hard.

You can be rich without being coddled, and you can be coddled without being rich. Think of the kids who are like, ten years old and refuse to cut their food because they're lazy so their parents do it for them.

Ha! My mom still cuts my fruit. She knows I don’t eat the hard to peel fruit.

I also know adults who won’t eat crab because it is too much work. I’m not sure they were coddled or lazy or just don’t like crab.

[Anonymous]

What are some examples of coddling? I saw the PP above with the parents coming to college, but OP what do you mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of coddling? I saw the PP above with the parents coming to college, but OP what do you mean?

I was thinking of the parents doing everything for the kids. Maybe it is the same as helicopter parents, but it seems more than just helicoptering.

Maybe it is just went there are very aggressive type A type parents with a not as strong kid, the parent pushes and it seems like coddling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does super coddled = rich? If so, they will be fine. Intergenerational wealth does wonders, even if you don’t work particularly hard.

You can be rich without being coddled, and you can be coddled without being rich. Think of the kids who are like, ten years old and refuse to cut their food because they're lazy so their parents do it for them.

Ha! My mom still cuts my fruit. She knows I don’t eat the hard to peel fruit.

I also know adults who won’t eat crab because it is too much work. I’m not sure they were coddled or lazy or just don’t like crab.

I don’t know if the crab example is really coddled. There’s also the idea of “Life is too short to deal with xyz.” Dealing with crab might fall under that for some people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of coddling? I saw the PP above with the parents coming to college, but OP what do you mean?

The girl I mentioned with two older parents. Their parents spend their entire lives doing anything and everything for this child. They have the money and time and tripping over themselves to do anything that this girl wants. This girl is definitely spoiled in every way. Both parents are extremely smart, successful and both are from $$$.

Another boy I am thinking of has divorced parents and both parents also always trying to do everything for this teenager.

I can also think of countless boys, happen to be Indian, whose moms dedicate their entire lives to them. The boys are soooooo coddled.