Boyfriend wants to control me
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Anonymous
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I moved in with my boyfriend at the start of the month. I love living him for the most part, but I absolutely hate how he is trying to change me. He is semi-frugal and prefers to spend on necessities only, barring special occasions. I’m a lot more fluid with my money and like to enjoy the fruit of my labor. I love pampering myself on nice cosmetics, trying a new fancy shampoo or body, and trying new skincare. I’ve always been a girly girl in that sense. I enjoy the occasional splurge on getting my nails done, getting a monthly massage, going to super nice restaurants, etc.
My boyfriend is the opposite and asked if I really need those things. He called them “ a waste of money”. I’m not in debt and still save at least 25% of my income. I feel like he is trying to control me. His view has made me question if we’re right together. |
Anonymous
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Go back to class, OP.
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Anonymous
| To be clear, and I say this as a woman who also enjoys those things, they ARE a waste of money. If you are planning a future together it's worth setting up a budget and discussing finances now. In my experience, one overly frugal person does not jive with another who likes to spend frivolously. |
Anonymous
| Commenting negatively on your choices is rude, but not controlling. It sounds like a fundamental incompatibility that will only get worse if you intend to be a combined household for the long term. |
Anonymous
| Yeah I think you are not compatible. These are different ways of looking at life |
Anonymous
I’m a grown woman. You go sit down. |
Anonymous
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You may want to move back into your own place. Maybe reevaluate the relationship all together. In particular his frugal and controlling ways... Is that something you want to live and deal with long term? Good luck! |
Anonymous
| dump him and he will realize what a stupid ass he is. or ask him to go to therapy first and work on his issues. Did he grow up poor? |
Anonymous
| You’re not well-suited, OP. Unless you can both reach a compromise I’d think carefully about proceeding. |
Anonymous
A grown woman doesn’t ask this kind of question, regardless of her age. |
Anonymous
Don't listen to this ignorant poster. |
Anonymous
Your spending habits suggest that of a pampered child. Leave, please, he can do better. |
Anonymous
Ideal partnership to help you two find a good financial balance, far better than two frugals or two big spenders. |
Anonymous
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May be both agree to have reasonable monthly individual leisure quota (after fairly dividing expenses and funding savings), he can save all of his, you can blow all of yours without having to discuss it.
If it doesn't work out then see a financial advisor to help you two sort it out. |
Anonymous
| Are you an as generous with equally shouldering bills and expenses or is he covering more than his half because you like to live it up and save? |