I’m exhausted with my fiancé

[Anonymous]

It feels like he’s always getting upset about small things. For example, last night, I was just about to pop into the bathroom to get ready for bed, when a news report popped up about the UK grooming gangs that has been in the news lately. I was chatting to him about it, because he had never heard of it. Granted, I get it’s a bit of a depressing topic, but next thing I know he had stormed out and insisted on sleeping on the couch because “I don’t want to hear about this before I go to bed”. I get that, in retrospect, I should have maybe kept it to myself and just gotten ready for bed. But I honestly didn’t think it, and, in any case, it feels like I have to walk on eggshells around him, that he’s not good at managing his emotions and freaks out over the smallest things. Unfortunately I am (accidentally) pregnant so leaving isn’t so easy, but I’m afraid when we have a child together it will be a million times worse. I’m not sure if this kind of thing, a guy who always seems upset, is a legitimate red flag or I’m just suffering from pregnancy hormones. And if it is really bad, then IDK whether I should leave now or wait till after the child arrives

[Anonymous]

Do it now.
Talk with your friends and family first.

[Anonymous]

The story you relayed is not normal behavior.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a therapist, OP? You need someone you can talk to about all of this. He could just be really stressed about the unplanned pregnancy or he could be volatile. dCUM won’t be able to tell. You need advice in really life. But whatever is going on, it will get worse when the baby comes, I suspect, because babies are stressful. I’m very sorry.

[Anonymous]

To clarify and in case this makes any difference: the news report popped up on my phone, not some TV show or anything. So then I was explaining what allegedly happened and he got upset because it's a distressing/gross topic (which I get, it's not like I enjoy hearing about child SA). I still feel like he should have handled it differently, and I feel like it's always something with him. This is my first adult relationship so I feel like I dont know what is "normal" and what is not normal

[Anonymous]

Somehow you’ve ended up with my ex. He needs help and medications to regulate his emotions, but he will always blame you - and the child.

[Anonymous]

OP - everyone is going to say one thing - get out now, do not marry him. This is not normal at all and he will be a shitty, whiny coparent. If he can’t handle this conversation before bed, he won’t be able to handle everything that lies ahead. Don’t marry him.

[Anonymous]

How far along are you?

[Anonymous]

Not the first time for him to act like that clearly. You still decided to become engaged and now pregnant. Since you are not leaving now, it's clearly going to become worse before it can get better. Few people listen and make the needed change. Most go through it and then wish they hadn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To clarify and in case this makes any difference: the news report popped up on my phone, not some TV show or anything. So then I was explaining what allegedly happened and he got upset because it's a distressing/gross topic (which I get, it's not like I enjoy hearing about child SA). I still feel like he should have handled it differently, and I feel like it's always something with him. This is my first adult relationship so I feel like I dont know what is "normal" and what is not normal

OP, if my spouse brings up a conversation I do not want to have at that time, I say, “can we talk about this in the morning?” He says “ok,” or “never mind; it’s not important, just commenting on the news.” Then we go to bed.

[Anonymous]

He sounds triggered. Was he sexually abused?

[Anonymous]

If you want a life of drama and walking on eggshells, by all means stay with this man. It's not going to get better.

If you do not want an abortion, can you care for the baby on your own? Would you be willing to give the baby up for adoption?

You probably should get therapy to figure out why you aren't recognizing this glaring red flag for what it is.

[Anonymous]

accidentally pregnant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To clarify and in case this makes any difference: the news report popped up on my phone, not some TV show or anything. So then I was explaining what allegedly happened and he got upset because it's a distressing/gross topic (which I get, it's not like I enjoy hearing about child SA). I still feel like he should have handled it differently, and I feel like it's always something with him. This is my first adult relationship so I feel like I dont know what is "normal" and what is not normal

Your feelings are correct.
It’s not normal adult behavior.

[Anonymous]

I’d probably get pretty annoyed if someone wanted to tell me all about whatever daily Mail sensationalist article popped up on their phone right before bed honestly. OP do you always want to talk about stupid stuff like that? Just from this example, he seems stressed and tired, likely not happy about your surprise pregnancy.