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Mom's who use the b-day invite as a weapon...
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Anonymous
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You know who you are. You invite certain kids and not others--even if the kids all play together in the neighborhood or at school. Suddenly you just leave certain kids out. You are purposely hurting some kids and breaking their Mom's heart. Please don't hide behind the "we can't afford to invite everyone" excuse. Because these are usually families of considerable means that do this. And every time you see them they'll tell you all the planning they're doing for the party to really rub it in!
What goes around does indeed come around and I suppose I should console myself in knowing that my kids won't continue to try to be friends with such thoughtless, unkind people. Eventually jerks do get their comeuppance. But it still hurts to see my kids hurting and feeling rejected by certain peers who they thought were their friends.. |
Anonymous
| how old are your kids? |
Anonymous
| Meant to write: Moms, not Mom's... |
Anonymous
7, 8 and 10. Many people do the whole class invite--we always have. Or close friends and family only--meaning 1 friend (with our girl because the girls get so dejected if they're not able to get some balance with other girls that are invited. I don't know-the whole back to school back to mean oneupmanship on the party scene is really making me so sad. |
Anonymous
7, 8 and 10. Many people do the whole class invite--we always have. Or close friends and family only--meaning 1 friend (with our girl because the girls get so dejected if they're not able to get some balance with other girls that are invited. I don't know-the whole back to school back to mean oneupmanship on the party scene is really making me so sad. |
Anonymous
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OP,
How do you know the birthday child doesn't have issues with your child but they're not on a level that justifies the mother bringing them to your attention? I've seen posts here from mothers wondering how not to invite certain children for that very reason. |
Anonymous
| Wow. Preschool mom here. Cold chills are going up and down my spine. I feel like Linus, clutching his blanket and muttering "Big kids." |
Anonymous
| Is it standard to invite the WHOLE class? DD is 3 and entering preschool. Just want to know what's in store. . . |
Anonymous
It happens in preschool too. 
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Anonymous
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So if you don't invite every single kid in the neighborhood you are using a weapon as an invite?
I know the thing to do in this area is spend a ton of money and invite about 30 kids to a b-day party, I follow the old "b-day parties should be small and intimate" approach. We simply can't afford to throw a huge party and my son would HATE it. So we told my son he could invite 5 friends. He picked them. Three were from school, one from the neighborhood and 1 was a friend. So - were we attacking all other children he come into contact with? I can see where if everyone but one or two is invited (and maybe that is what you are talking about). But my son will have 38 kids in his class. Even the school highly encourages parents to not try to invite the whole class. Sorry, but school functions should be inclusive. B-day parties shouldn't have to be (again, unless what you experienced is everyone but your child was invited, that is different) |
Anonymous
Depends on how old your kid is--and you really don't sound like the vindictive sort--but believe me there are Moms who do this with malice. You may not have the sort of child that walks around bragging about their awesome birthday party. You probably woud n't talk about your kids party openly to some other parent whose kid you didn't invite. But there are a lot of meanies out there that do. They can afford to invite 12 0r 13 kids of the same sex to the party--they just prattle on about the party they're putting together--their kids tell anyone who will listen--but they randomly leave certain kids off their list. |
Anonymous
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PP you didn't get OP's main point. The bday mom keeps talking abt party areangements in front of families she didn't invite.
You want an intimate party so keep it for yourself. No need to talk abt it in front of the kids that were not invited. |
Anonymous
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Yep, that was me. I invited all the girls in the class and the neighborhood to DD's pink-themed birthday party. All the moms of boys probably hate me now. OR they are happy they didn't have to buy another girl present and didn't have to cart their kid to another stupid birthday party on that Saturday. Somehow I doubt the moms' hearts are broken. My daughter has been excluded from birthday parties before in the neighborhood and she realizes its not that big a deal - its not like she can't play with them another day.
OP - grow up and put on your big girl panties. High school is over. |
Anonymous
| My BIL and SIL have made it a rule that their kids can invite the number of kids as the age they are turning. Might be a good way to go? |
Anonymous
The flip side to this just happened to us. My DD started a new preschool and got a birthday invite from a boy that we didn't know at all and is leaving by next week to go to K so she won't see ever again. I thought it was kind of weird to invite all of the kids in his class when many are transitioning out throughout the summer and many of them are new. I have a late summer birthday so I know it's difficult to determine a birthday invitee list in the summer but I would just stick to kids we know for now. Once we are in K, we will see how it goes. |