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Mom's who use the b-day invite as a weapon...
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Anonymous
| Oh for heaven's sake, pull up your big girl panties and deal. With kids that old, it's less common to invite the whole class, and I don't see anything wrong with that. As long as you're not inviting almost everyone and leaving out one or two kids, and as long as invitations aren't being distributed at school, it's a good time to teach your kids that not everyone is invited to everything and that's the way life is. You sound WAY too invested in this. |
Anonymous
Your kids will do the same and have the same feelings towards some kids also. Why do you think your kids wouldn't feel this way about certain playmates? |
Anonymous
|
I can remember not getting invited to every b-day party when I was a kid. Isn't that just an inevitable part of growing up?
Life is not always fair. The older you get the more control you have, since you eventually realize the people you want to hang out with want to hang out with you - you find your friends. I feel like we can't, and shouldn't, protect our kids from EVERYTHING. I know it sucks but it's sort of a part of life. |
Anonymous
OP here: well. If you had read my original post you'd know this really isn't the sort of thing I was describing at all. But never mind-- Not many are reading the details of what I said. Everyone seems to be justifying their exclusive mean behavior--there's a rally on the mall for the mean people this weekend. You all will fit right in. Pretty sure you all are trying to RECREATE high school the way you WISH it had been with your kid's b-day invites and that none you even own big girl panties at all. |
Anonymous
| I think the OP needs to get a life. Get a job, a hobby or something. |
Anonymous
|
A neighbor who lives directly across the street from us invited a lot of kids to a birthday party at her house on a Saturday afternoon but did not include my daughter, who was 3 at the time. I remember standing in the front yard with my daughter watching all the kids come streaming out of the neighbor's house and thinking, "This person is not my friend." Later the neighbor explained that there were "just too many kids" to include my daughter. I too remember the sad look on my daughter's face when she looked at the party of someone she'd thought was her friend and said, "I wasn't invited to her party." My DD is 11 now, but she still remembers that day.
My DD is very popular and never has been excluded from anything before or since, but this particular situation seemed deliberate and cruel to my daughter on the part of the mom. We had been very friendly before this incident, but the friendship declined after that. Maybe the mom didn't want to be friends with me, I have no idea, but to do something like this to a child is unconscionable. |
Anonymous
| Damn OP, you are a straight up nutter...maybe your kids don't get invited to parties because the other parents are afraid of you--I know I'm starting to be. |
Anonymous
|
"8 out of 10 kids in the class were invited "
This sounds much more like the situation OP was describing and I agree that that's cruel. As for the 20:39 - it's unclear from your post that the kids were all from the neighborhood. Perhaps they were all from the child's class (out of a desire to be inclusive) and the mom felt like she had to draw some limits somewhere and neighbors and non-school friends therefore would grow the numbers too much. I can sympathize w/ how this made your daughter feel apparently, but can also see the situation from what could have been the case. Now, if the other mom invited lots of others from the neighborhood and her child was friends with yours, then that is mean-spirited. |
Anonymous
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Wow, I am suprised by how mean people are being. I think (and hope) that the OP's point is that it feels bad if your child is rejected (i.e., not picked to be an invitee to a party), and it is hard to help the child to learn to understand that rejection.
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Anonymous
| Such is life. These are great opportunities to teach kids how to cope. Be thankful to have these situations to help your kid get perspective on common life situations. |
Anonymous
| I really don't have the brain space to pay attention to this sort of thing. Really. If you get invited to a party and want to/can go, then you go. If you want to have a party, invite who you can/want to invite. Very simple. |
Anonymous
I knew a woman who used this same trick. She used her children's b'day parties to get back at those of us she perceived had snubbed her and a snub to her was if we didn't do exactly what she wanted us to do. She was a control freak. If my children were not invited, and they weren't, I took them out for pizza or some place where they would have a good time. When they had b'day parties, I invited her children and she refused to allow them to attend. She was insane and I just decided it was her problem, not mine or my children's. Children do get their feelings hurt easily but I also explained to them in gentler terms, and not bad mouthing her, that this was how she did parties and it wasn't them. They accepted this and still remained as friendly as possible with her children. We moved and never gave her another thought. |
Anonymous
... never gave her another thought ... until now .... (btw, hard to follow your post) |
Anonymous
| What are you talking about this is madness? Leaving children out what are we....in the stone age? |
Anonymous
|
Wow - just wow
Do you cry each time you're not invited to a wedding, too? |